This hub contains some crude humor and is only for mature audiences only!

I’m always bombarded with guys and pick up lines. Most of the time I get lucky and don’t get the stupid ones but I do from time to time such as “Excuse me, did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?” or “Your legs must be tired, cause you have been running in my mind all day.”

Well I came across a site that had some really funny ones and thought I'd share them with yall!

• Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself in your pants.
• Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
• (Female at the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
• Pardon me, are you in heat?!
• You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
• You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
• Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
• She: (to passing man) Do you have the time? Him: Do you have the energy?
• At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask, "Wanna roll?"
• You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
• Good looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when! Guy: As soon as I finish this drink.
• Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
• You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said 'Particular nice weather?'!
• Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together!
• Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
• You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear!
• Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you sure have a nice set of buns!
• Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Kate!" She says, "I'm not Kate!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
• Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?
• Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
• Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
• Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them.
• Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
• Wanna go halves in a baby?
• Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynaecologist.
• Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
• Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
• Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
• Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
• Excuse me do fries come with that shake?
• I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
• I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
• If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
• Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
• You make my software turn to hardware!
• Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
• Hey baby I want to take you to Hawaii. To the island of "comona, wanna, lay ya!
• Baby, if you were a flower, I would pick you!
• Girl, you must be a tater tot, cuz you're Orida!
• Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
• Hi, my name's coffee, cuz I'll keep you up all night!
• I say your picture in the dictionary today, it was under KABAAM!