Funny Phrases
63
FACTS OF LIFE...... Enjoy reading J
- If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
- If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor.
- I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
- Practice makes perfect.....But nobody's perfect......so why practice?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
- Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
- Money is not the only thing, it's everything.
- Save water. Shower with your girl friend.
- Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
- Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
- The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
- Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
- Love is photogenic, It needs darkness to develop.
- "Your future depends on your dreams", So go to sleep.
- "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk !
- "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours !
- God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
- When two's company, three's the result !
- A dress is like a barbed fence, It protects the premises without restricting the view
- The more you learn, the more you know,the more you know, the more you forget the more you forget, the less you know, So.. why learn.
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Those are funny! here is one ppl may like also,
Therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is cheap. YOU CHOOSE!
thos are pretty good i have to host some sled pull thing tonight and im gunna use some of these thanks
Funny i like the Save water. Shower with your girl friend. one
hey i have one. Too often we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when some one annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown but it only takes 4 to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother @#!&! upside the head.
lol this is a funny one,
wise man once said, man go to bed with itchy arse, man wake up with sticky finger
lmao
heres one y'all like
I'm gonna live forever or die trying!
heres a guuuuuuuuud 1:
shit happens, mostley to me so dont worry
and another:if i DO succeed at first,dont be astonished!
yeah i can do better!!!!!
You ever stop to think and forget to start again????? That's how I am now so I forgot what I was gonna say.
I really would like to know the answer to the 5th one. Unfortunately I dont think anybody can answer it.
i like these notes but i think i like the ones given by the ppl in their comments
lol Practice makes perfect.....But nobody's perfect......so why practice?
if your father is poor that's your destiny,but if you are father-in-law is poor tht's your stupidity !!!!
another one... don't follow my footsteps, i run into walls.
i know it's not a question but it's funny :)
i like these
hahaaaa i beet u all
if love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular
haha very funny lmao
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
i've got some:
"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15"
Of Course I Don't Look Busy – I Did It Right the First Time
No thanks, One asshole in my pants is enough
I like it a lot
A woman has the last word in any argument, anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argumentHe who laughs last probibly didn't get the joke......
it is "he who go to sleep with ichy bum wakes up with smelly finger
Some good phrases, there funny .
im a nobody ... nobodys perfect..Im perfect !! XD loved all the other ones some didnt make sense but hay ! lol someone put more on !!
i have a good phrase! you cry, i cry, u laugh, i laugh, u fall off a cliff, i laugh even harder
When you cry, i cry... When you laugh, i laugh... when you smile, i smile... When you're horny, call me :P
number five?? there here to make our lives difficult while we help them
I got one :
when life hands you lemons, ask for a refund!
smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to
THE COMMENTS ARE ALOT FUNNIER BUT I GOT 1:WHEN U GET TURNED DOWN, TURN AROUNDAND SLAP THAT B1TCH IN THE FACE
dat was quite funny lol
I want to be an individual..... just like everyone else!
You got to be rich to get that bitch!!!
I LOVE the one from "d"....."smile. it makes people wonder what you are up to. HAHA
yea lol
have u heard about the blond and the burnett man on a plane -
the man wanted 2 make some fast money so he asked thae girl once thed taken off if she wanted 2 play a game. he said 4 every 1 u get right u get a dallar and visa versa. she denied so he said offer still stands but if i get it wrong ill give u a hundred. she agreed. so he asked who is the 1st president she got it wrong and handed him a $. then she asked him whats black in the morning and white at night he didnt know so he handed her a hundred. then he asked what the answer was she handed him a dollar lol thought it was funny.
A GIANT HOLE HELL-LIKE WAS FOUND IN NEVADA STATE, NO EXPLANATION? WELL, NEVADA HAS TO COOK ITS MONEY SOMEWHERE...
me and mark horton were caught red handed but our boss owns the world.
A good lawer knows the law, a great lawer knows the judge! lol
There's another one:
The secret of my success: a good job, party and lots of sex!!!
I have one.
Kids in the back seat cause accidentes, and Accidents in the back seat cause kids
hahaha
i know many of these just these ones are my favourite
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas
Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
I imagine a world of love, peace, and no wars. Then I imagine myself attacking that place because they would never expect it
If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk
Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do
those arnt all that funny i got some funnier sayings and quotes
I love you like fat people love cake
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
The doctors cute screw the fruit
A friend bails you out of jail
A bestfriend is sitting beside you saying"That was awesome!"
A synonym is a word you use when you cant spell the first one you thought of
nobody's perfect. i'm nobody
Here are some I thought were funny:
Everythings coming your way, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE!!!
Fancy guy: What rubbish!
Red-neck: BULL CR*P!!!
An optimist is someone who jumps off the empire state building and after 50 floors says, "So far, so good."
Aha, i think the comments are funnier ;P I have a few;
"ah! space aliens are attacking--i have a wife and kids! Eat them!"
"People say i get distracted easily, but i never get dis--OMG A PENCIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hehehehe.
"When i die, i want to die peacefuly in my sleep--not screaming in terror like the passengers in the back of her car."
As innocent as a nun doing the splits in a cucumber feild
Confucious say: he who stand on toilet> high on pot...
'If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen'
'I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them'
smile:its the next best thing one can do with ones lips
i think some of these are hilarious.
but i think ya'll could do better.
and Maryann. lmao.
yours was hilarious!
Wellll.... these are funny, but ive heard better...lol....
there was an old man and woman and their son that lived in the country, a long way from any where, and had never been to the big city.. so none day the woman told the man that she wanted to take a vacation away from the ranch and the man agreed, so the man, the woman and there 30year old single son loaded up in there truck and went to the city...
once the pulled up to the hotel, and the man told his wife, "honey, u sit in here and me and jr will go ckeck it out" so the dad and son walked in and just stood there lookin round and they saw this door open and a old wrinkly lady walk in, then the door shut behind her, then a few minutes latter the door opened, and this young pretty 20 year old walked out so the dad said to his jr " son go get your momma" lol
Freiends r like bras they r close to the heart and and they support u
who cares about my name says:
2 years ago
some cool phrases... SOME