Getting married with a native Filipina is not an easy thing to do. When I say native Filipina, I mean born and grow in the Philippines with Filipino parents. My former boss, who is a close friend of mine, marries a native Filipina-A Princess of their tribe (Mansaka Tribe) but prior to their marriage he had many first experiences before asking her hand.

I remember, he once said to me, “It is easy to make friends with Filipina women but it is hard for a foreign guy like me to have a relationship with one Filipina woman.” I just smiled to him and retorted, “You want my help?” Then I see his lips widened.

Here are few guidelines I told my boss that could help a foreign guy who wants to marry a native Filipina.

• FIRST, MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL YOU LIKE

Filipina by nature are friendly and hospitable. They always show their smile when someone they know call their names. A rule, don’t misunderstood if a Filipina girl smiles back at you it is just a simple gesture that she noticed your presence. If you said hi and she doesn’t reply any word, don’t worry, give her a time, she will.

• WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

Filipina women don’t like arrogant guys. If you profess you feelings to a Filipina woman that you like her and ask for a date right away.. ha ha ha ha.. I bet, you will get a slap in your face or she will frown at you. The worst scenario you will get is that she will avoid you.

• GIVE HER TIME TO KNOW YOU MORE

Constant communication with her through text messages, letters and or any means of reaching her are effective ways on knowing her and knowing you. BUT, don’t expect that she will be the first one to communicate with you. A rule, A MAN should initiate first. It’s degrading for our part as Filipina woman to initiate the first move (It’s our culture).

• SET A DATE TOGETHER WITH HER FRIENDS

I was with them when my boss dates my close friend. The role of her friends was to make her comfortable with you first and then later on you can ask for a dinner date for two but never hold her hands or asked for a kiss when you have a first dinner date together. Or else, that would be the last date you can have with her.

• PROFESS YOU FEELINGS IN A ROMANTIC WAY

Say your feelings through card or letter, flowers and chocolate. Expect that she won’t give you answer right away even if you feel that she has feelings for you too. Waiting for the answer is your worst enemy but your patience pays off when she confessed her feelings too for mostly, Filipina by nature are sweet, loving, faithful and thoughtful.

• FREQUENT VISIT TO HER HOUSE WOULD GIVE GOOD IMPRESSIONS

Visiting the girl on her parent’s house would set good impressions to her and the parents that your intentions are good and serious. Meeting her just on the streets, café or pubs will signify that your feelings are fake. Besides, meeting the parents of the girl in the Philippines is not an easy thing to do just like what my boss had experienced.

• GETTING CLOSE TO HER FAMILY MORE THAN HER

When you’re in her home, you must be polite and talk to her parents first and getting to know them. Or one way of saying, “You will have to court her family first before her”. Meeting the approval of the family is an indication that they approve your relationship with her and your welcome to be part of their family. And another thing, you have to bring something or gifts not only for her but also for her mom and dad. But what I have suggested to my boss, a chocolate for her mom and flowers for her. Getting the mom’s approval is like you have a defender in the family.

• PREPARING YOURSELF IN A HOT SEAT

First meeting with the parents and relatives are the toughest thing you will experienced. It is the time that they will interrogate your intention towards their precious gem in the family. My boss had a hard time, he experienced that being in front of their presence and answering their questions is more than being in a court cross examine by the lawyer. “It is like I have to bring an updated biodata and legal papers on my wallet all the time just to prove my status” he added. The parents just want to be sure that you’re not married with any other woman for the parents are much concerned with the future of their daughter. We value family relations because we don’t have divorce here in the Philippines and broken family issue as much as possible is not an option.

Once the family had proven that your intention to their daughter is good and serious then the ordeal is gone. You will be at home visiting your girl and always be a part of the family gatherings and important celebrations. And my boss had started calling his in-laws Ma and Pa even before they got married. I know this stuff because I was his translator when he first meets the girl’s parents and their maid of honor in the wedding.