I'm going to advise from my own personal experiences. My mother was abused by her mother ever since she was about 2 and although my mother loves her mother, she really doesn't like who she is. I know myself that my grandmother is a very nasty individual so I stay the heck away from her. The same is to be said for my step-grandfather (which is my mothers step-father). He is an abusive alcoholic whom pushed my brother down a flight of stairs when he was 8, slapped him when he was 9 and just plain tortured the family. He has always been like this and I believe this is the way he will remain.

Now, onto the topic of discussion. How do you get your children to write thank you letters to relatives that they do not like? My mother some-how managed to teach me how to cherish the value of certain relationships that were of no value at all. Everytime I received a birthday card or a letter I was always told that I had to write back to them and thank them even though my mother knew that all her mother was doing was trying to hurt her and steal us away from her. "Always take the high ground", she use to always say to me. So I did. I use to (and still do) send thank you letters to any of my relatives (when due) even though there are a few I would rather never speak to or hear from again.

If your kids love the friends and relatives that gave them the gifts but just hate the gifts received, the same method applies when teaching them to say thank you regardless, as you would teach them to say thank you to disliked relatives. This can be found below.

I think the best way to get your children to thank somebody they don't like (or thank somebody for a gift they hate) is to sit them down and explain to them that what they are doing makes them the better person and because of that, they win. My mother explain this to me about my awful grandparents and she was completely right. By taking the high ground, we'll never stoop to their level and that in itself is very important.

Explaining to your children why they should write thank you's to people they don't like is beneficial but it would be ideal if you could come with more reasons than just, "Because it is the right thing to do and it is the nicest thing to do" and "they are your family, respect them". Kids won't always buy that.