Getting your adult child to grow up: Part 2 Moving Out

You raised them. You taught them how to tie their shoes. You shed a tear on their first day of school. You nursed their wounds, washed their clothes, helped them with their homework, saw them off to college, and now you just want them to GROW UP!

If you have an adult child, most of you probably want to know, how to get your child to become responsible and move out on their own. The rest of you probably just want your baby to stick around as long as they can, even if that means letting them live in the basement of your home for the next 40 years.

Here are some tips about what to do with an adult child who just won't grow up. Tips about setting your child up to move out of your house.

Leaving the nest:

It's a difficult thing to have your child move out of the house, but that time is coming anyway. It's best to move your child out as soon as possible once they have graduated from college so that they do not get comfortable in the laid back lifestyle of living at home. They need to get used to living out on their own as soon as possible.

It this touch economy, it may seem like a bad idea to send your child out there on their own. The price of gas is going up and the job market is uncertain. So, why would you want your child to potentially end up out on the street for lack of money. Well, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. You can care for your child from far away just like you can care for them if they lived under your roof. Here are a few simple steps to help you in the transition.

1. Call your child ever day: Don't worry, you won't be smothering your child. But if you could call your child once a day, maybe at the end of the day, just to check up on him/her just to see how (s)he is doing, it may help ease the transition of going out into the real world. It will also show that you care about and are still thinking about them.

2. Plan ahead: Before the child moves out, it would be wise to go over a budget plan with your child. Point out worst case senarios. Let your child know when it's OK for them to call home and ask for help financially so they don't freak out when something goes wrong. If they are moving far away from home, set up a primary care physician out where they are moving to, so that they have a doctor out there. You might want to visit the place they've moved to just to see what's up over there. Make sure they have a game plan for what their job is going to be and try to have a car if you can afford one. Find out if there is someone in the neighborhood that can check up on them or that they can hang out with (like a family friend or relative). These things will aid in the transition process.

3. Visit as much as possible: Make an effort to visit your child, or have them visit you as much as possible. This goes back to showing that you care. You don't want to lose touch. It could make your child feel that (s)he can't call upon your in times of trouble. Keep those lines of communication open in good times as well as bad. Be a source of constant support. You are like their training wheels on the road of life. You have to support them until they can ride out on their own!

4. Always be there in times of trouble: No matter what, you are still their parent. They need you. If you ae not there for them, who will be? So, when they call you with a problem, and trust me, they will, you need to be available and ALWAYS be ready to lend a helping hand. Even if it is just to give them advice, or tips, or to give them money. But be careful, don't always bail them out if you know that it is something they can handle on their own. Sometimes you just need to be a good listener and listen to them when they need to talk, but do nothing. Discretion is needed at that time. However, don't leave them hanging if they really need some help. Life or death situation, if they are getting kicked out of their place, if they are having a domestic dispute, these are times when a parent needs to step up and step in.  Take action!

I hope these tips help you in your ventures to help your adult child move out of the house. Remember, if your child is showing initiative, feel free to give him or her financial help or any type of help (s)he neeeds and you are capable of. Good luck!