Girls: 5 Gifts You Should Never Get Your Sweetie!

You want to get your guy something special, some little token that says, "thank you" or "I love you." Great idea! But what to buy him? I don't know, because I don't know your fella and what sorts of things he enjoys. But I do know the following gifts are all really, really bad ideas:

Stuffed animals. It doesn't matter how cute that teddy bear is, or how much that furry puppy looks like his dog, once a guy is old enough to be in kindergarten, a stuffed toy is jut not going to be appreciated. Grown men don't understand stuffed toys, don't need them - not even occasionally, and will interpret your gift thus: "She thinks I'm a little kid. Fine. Guess I'll start acting like one!" You don't want that, do you? If you are absolutely, positively determined to get him a toy, get one that makes a lot of obnoxious electronic noises. Better yet, get him one that simulates killing aliens.

Product. The Bravo hit television show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" may be converting American men, one at a time, to the idea that hair and facial "product" isn't anathema. However, the average guy is going to assume that your basket of designer gunk implies that you think he's ugly and that his personal hygiene habits fall beneath your standards. Then he'll begin to wonder why you're dating him in the first place. It's best to limit your gifts of "product" to massage oil and lickable love lotion - the kinds of gifts that keep on giving!

Cookbooks, cooking lessons, or small appliances. Unless your sweetie is a big fan of the Food Network, do not buy him these things - he'll never use them or even particularly want to learn how to use them. On the other hand, utensils he can use to prepare "man-food" like barbecue accessories or a mix for hot wings sauce will likely be a big hit.

Cute underwear. Tempting as it may be to buy him boxer shorts with a cupid-and-heart pattern for Valentine's Day, leprechauns for St. Patrick's Day or the Grinch for Christmas, do your best to resist. Because one day he will be dangerously low on clean laundry and be forced to wear them. And as sure as winter leads to spring, someone - a co-worker, his mom, his best friend - will see them on him. And it will be all your fault. You're better off buying yourself some sexy underwear - he'll definitely appreciate them!

Cologne. I thought cologne would come under the heading of "product,' but apparently not - at least not according to my husband. Alex swears the last thing he would ever want me to give him is a bottle of men's cologne; he promises me he'd interpret the gift as a subtle way of saying, "you stink." Since I don't think he stinks, I leave the cologne on the shelf at the department store and move on to the barbecue accessory display...

Remember, the best gifts are the ones that cost very little or no money - listening to how his day went, saying, "thank you" when he opens the door for you, cooking him a meal. In other words, the best gift is, always, yourself.