Godzilla's Panties

When thinking about lingerie, it is important to think outside the box. You see, many of us get caught up in notions handed to us at birth, notions like the fact that the sky is blue, grass is green, girls wear panties and boys are left with whatever scraps of cotton are left over.

Of course, as one ages, one begins to learn that not all is as it seems. The sky, for instance, is not blue, but a gaping dark void that looks blue because of the way light refracts through its various layers. Similarly, grass appears green to our eyes because it absorbs all light other than green spectrum light. As knowledge trickles slowly into our brains, confounding our assumptions and leaving us wondering who to believe, we may begin to question everything we know.

We may begin, for example, to wonder if clothing really is a valid means to define gender. Though scientists may not agree on whether or not masculine personalities are formed as a result of the presence of a slightly truncated chromosome, or whether they are the result of conditioning that begins to take place from the moment a baby is born, nobody believes that a male can be turned into a female simply by putting him in a dress. In much the same way, the fashion of women's pants did not send our species spiraling into androgynous decline.

Yet men who wish to wear panties often find themselves facing nigh hysterical opposition, usually from double-x'ers who are horrified that the fellow they've fallen for isn't confirming to all gender expectations. Some xx'ers even see fit to leave their partners over the issue.

It is at this point, that I feel it pertinent to bring up Godzilla. We're all familiar with Godzilla. A large, destructive lizard that stomps about laying waste to cities. But is Godzilla male or female? And would your answer change if Godzilla wore panties?

The debate regarding Godzilla's gender is heated. Some maintain that Godzilla is male, because Godzilla is referred to as such in many of the books and some of the movies. Others state that Godzilla must be female because 'she' lays eggs, likewise, in some movies, Godzilla is referred to as being female.

Now let's imagine for a moment that Godzilla wore panties. Pretty pink panties with lace trim around the legs and waist. Would that make Godzilla a girl? Would that make Godzilla a guy? Or regardless of panties and gender confusion, would one be better off paying attention to the fact that Godzilla is thirty stories tall and trying to kill you?

You see my point now. Instead of muddling about trying to work out if men are allowed to wear panties or if panties should only be worn by women, and getting into dreadful arguments in which we hurl insults and nurse hurt feelings, we should instead be paying attention to the creature inside the panties, the human creature that simply wants to love and be loved.

People are more important than panties.