Someone reading this who is having good sex may be saying, "If you have to ask that question something is really wrong with your sex life."

And, I would answer, "I'd have to be having one first to have something wrong with it!"

The fact of the matter is sex is a big deal. Its such a big deal that the amount or the lack thereof can make or break a relationship. Good sex can erase away the anger you feel from an argument, relieve the tension you feel that caused you to have a headache or clear your cluttered mind.

Good sex can join the hearts of two people who love eachother strengthening that bond between them. Or, it can cause complete strangers to lose themselves in a fit of passion.

Good sex can literally make a person lose their mind if only for a moment and utter words no one else can understand. It can make a person promise to buy houses, cars and diamond rings. It can make a man want to do better and a woman want to give more.

Unfortunately, having good sex can also impair a person's judgement making it hard to think of anything else.

Being Single and Having Sex

When you are single good sex can come with a price. Perhaps when you are married there is a price to pay also but I'm not talking about that right now. As a single person there are precautions that must be taken to stay safe and healthy. Not only physically but also mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.

For some, sex is nothing more than a means to an end. And once the end comes then its on to the next event. There is no emotion shared. There is no concern for the other person. It is what it is and then its over.

For others sex is a chance to connect to another person in a way so deep their souls collide. Love is shared and made. Pleasure is given and given again. And the longing for the next time immediately sets in. That is good sex.

Good Sex: How Do I Get Some?

To get good sex I believe there has to be a level of honesty and an emotional connection. Otherwise after its all over there will be nothing but emptiness inside. Having alot of sex is not necessarily having good sex. Because good sex goes much deeper. But it can be safe to say that if the sex is good the desire to have more of it will be there.

In a marriage or long term relationship the goodness of sex can disappear when couples withdraw into themselves because of unresolved hurts and pains. Unforgiven grudges, words left unsaid, apologies not given are all things that erode the connection necessary for the most safisfying sex.

Not having enough sex puts a gap between couples and causes arguments that are agreeably pretty dumb after the fact. Anger can be caused by the simplest thing when partners are feeling neglected by the person they love.

One barrier to having good sex is a feeling of embarrasment or shame at the mention of it. I had been this way for years and even writing this article is a challenge. But what I have realized is that sex is a whole other place to discover and experience. It is a dimension of ourselves that needs to be nurtured.

A woman or man can find power within themselves and confidence when they are released sexually. Being able to express ourselves sexually can open up an entire world we've not yet seen. This requires the ability to trust the one you're with and be concerned about their well-being.

Being able to preserve our time of sexual encounter and only have sex with someone we care about is a sign of maturity and a more sure way to have good sex because it gives us an opportunity to go beyond one quick moment of passion.

So, what is the big deal about sex?

The big deal about sex is that sex is beautiful and powerful. And it is a gift to those who understand. Embracing sex is embracing a part of ourselves that is lovely. Ignoring sex or thinking sex is bad is an act of rejecting a part of who we are.

Freedom of mind comes when we are able to see sex for its beauty and power. When we can understand the gift that it is.

A corrupt mind and a corrupt heart can take away a person's natural ability to see sex as good with one act of hatred. The theft of innocence can eliminate the real yearning for sexual love. Deep healing is necessary to restore this natural desire.