I’ve been tuning into the Grammy Awards now for many, many years. In all honesty though, it doesn’t hold the same allure and fascination for me that it once did. But nonetheless I still tuned in to them this year (since there wasn’t much else on television to watch on a Sunday evening). I must say, I never considered myself a critical person; Hahah..oh wait.. who am I kidding, picking on popular people is a fun past time. And boy, was there a lot to pick on during this telecast. I mean COME ON, these people have money and can afford to have people tell them what not to wear or how to behave. So what’s their excuse?

Let Us Begin – in no particular order (all pictures are below) 

Up first we have Whitney Huston. Now girlfriend looked absolutely stunning in this beautiful blue, slit up to there gown; that is, until she opened her mouth. She seemed a tad out of it. Was she huffin’ the snuff backstage or something? I will give her credit for not stuttering or slurring her words, but I suppose that’s hard to do when each uttered syllable takes almost Three. Whole. Seconds.

Next we have Jennifer Hudson accepting her award for best R&B album (do I sense some sympathy votes here...?) Now.. I love the girl and she really can sing but someone should have nudged her a reminder to remove that napkin she had stuck in her pretty dress before going up on stage. At least she hadn’t spilled anything on it yet.

Carrie Underwood. Gorgeous hair, gorgeous shoes, gorgeous girl. But where is the rest of her dress? Did someone need some gauze for a quick makeshift emergency bandage? I guess I can’t knock her as an entertainer, looks like those beneath her are enjoying the view. Guess some people DO listen with their eyes.

Then we have the Jonas Brothers performing with the iconic Stevie Wonder. A perfect example of ‘give a man enough money and he’ll perform with anyone.’ I’m guessing this might be one time when ol’ Stevie wished he was deaf as well as blind. I mean these kids whine more than a 4 year old at a candy store, they sound like they’re going to break out in tears any minute.

Katy. Katy. Katy. Were you channelling Carmen Miranda here? I adore you honey and if I was going to be kissed by a girl, I’d pick you and I’m sure I’d like it. But your choice of attire leaves a lot to be desired. This fruit bowl ensemble really left a bad taste in my mouth.

Adele I have nothing bad to say about you, except I had no idea who you were until I saw you on the Grammys. It’s the one wearing the sparkly feed-bag to your right that makes me go “Girl.. wtf!?” That shapeless piece of glittery fabric did absolutely nothing for the beautiful Estelle. I actually had to shut my eyes while she and Kanye performed. And I love that song; I sing it all the time while driving in my car.

Ok... M.I.A..? It’s bad enough you wore such a quilted travesty to walk down the red carpet in, but then you had to perform in ... in... well I just have no adequate description for this shear, black, short number with the weird black and white polka dots on the front and back. Yeah ok, so you’re about to pop since your due date was the same night as the Grammy’s, but geez louise woman, take some pride in your beautiful pregnant body and clothe it in something a little more tasteful.

Oh Justin. I have nothing bad to say about you, after all, you brought sexy back. Your compadre on the other hand, you know the dude with the chocolate chip on his head. Oohhh.. maybe he was going for the ‘Hershey Kiss’ look? What a funny guy, that T.I. Either way, it reeks of double sided tape. I mean, something had to keep that sucker from slipping.

I have been absolutely and positively told by my significant other that I am not allowed to say bad things about the iconic Robert Plant. I was however, given free rein to tear into his fellow song-mate Alison Krauss if I wanted to, but well.. I got nothin’!

Oohhh.. it’s all clear now. I understand the reasons behind Estelle’s shiny feed-bag outfit now. Check out the duds she wore on the red carpet. She obviously arrived in a spaceship and maybe that’s how they dress for special occasions on her planet.

Miley Cyrus. Beautiful dress darlin’, but hang it in your closet for another twenty or so years until you’re old enough to wear it. REALITY CHECK, you’re only sixteen honey. Say it with me, Six. Teen. Yes I know you sound like a woman four times that age, but you’re not ready to dress like one.

Paris. How nice of you to show up on the red carpet. But umm.. sweetie, it seems you forgot to put your dress on over your slip. Were you on a bender last night and just rolled out of bed and down the red carpet? Most of us only have nightmares of showing up in public in our underwear but honey, you bring the nightmare to life. Oh.. and P.S. the bathroom is that way. *points*