Granny had to go to a Rest Home Today
74I swore I would never do it
Putting someone you love in a nursing home is the most frightening thing I have ever had to do. My Granny broke her hip and was sent back from UNC Chapel HIll Hospital to recooperate and have thereay. AT the age of 87 with arthiritis very bad in every joint rehabilitation is iffy.
My Ganny refuses a television, a telephone or anything that would make her feel like she is there permanently. I am mortified that she may be. I have been there everyday to change her and clean her because she feels uncomfortable with others doing it and she is very tender. Sometimes just cold air hurts her feet. This is hard for the workers to understand or grasp or care so I just do it myself.
I started looking on the web for elderly abuse in nursing homes because I have noticed bruises on her arms where they would liftor move her. Range of Motion is painful so it is a difficult time. I would like to to thank Useful Knowledge and her hub htttp://hubpages.com/hub/nursinghomeabuse for bringing to light signs that I should look for.
This nursing home seemed very nice. It did not smell, it if had I would have turned that UNC ambulance around and told them to take her back. The nurses and aides are very nice and so far seem caring. I have been there and my mom of course everyday along with the family so I think they know we are kind of watching.
I am already ready to bring her back home, leaving her and seeing the look in her eyes reminded me of being little girl and put in a sanitorium for months with Tuberculosis. I had the same look when I left her today and she had the same look I gave her 30 years ago. Love you Granny!
Ganny and I at her temporary home
- Nursing Home Abuse and Neglect
There comes a time in all of our lives that we are faced with the difficult decision of putting our loved ones in a nursing home. It may be a parent or a grandparent that you have to make the decision for....
Granny had to go to a Rest Home Today in the News
- Woman Allegedly Gives Elderly Mom Pot-Laced CookiesWFTV 9 Orlando2 hours ago
LAKE COUNTY, Fla. -- Deputies say a Lake County woman gave her 72-year-old mother cookies laced with marijuana. Karen Spencer was arrested for elderly-disabled abuse and tampering with food.
- Blind eye to child abuse to be an offenceThe New Zealand Herald7 hours ago
Making it a crime for adults to turn a blind eye to child abuse or neglect by others in their homes will help to prevent cases such as that of the Kahui twins, a child welfare advocate says.
- Law clamps down on silence in abuse casesNZCity2 hours ago
19 December 2009 The Children's Commissioner believes proposed new laws on child abuse will tear down the wall of silence in abuse cases.
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Comments
My heart is sad with yours. Bruising isn't always a sign of abuse. The elderly have very thin skin and many are on blood thinners. But it's great to be alert. My gran was the same age when she broke her leg feeding her squirrels and went into a retirement home. Refused PT so she could walk, confined to a wheel chair. It's heart-wrenching to watch beloved family pass away so slowly and helplessly. Thank you for sharing D!
Thanks John, it makes me smile to know that you remembered me talking about her in another hub. :)
Candie, I love my grandma to death but they can be so difficult. I know being confined and away from home it horrible, been there but it scares me the way she lashes out at people, she also has dementia. I just hope that the people who chose to do this kind of work done it out of care and compassion for the elderly. ummm I am feelinh hub vibes, when I get like this I want to write until I fall asleep!
hub hugs
dori
My grandmother died in 2005, and I miss her greatly. Luckily, she was sharp as a tack and self-sufficient right up to the end. My heart goes out to you and what you must be going through right now.
Sweetie...I know cause my mom has Alzheimer's/dementia whatever you want to call it...just let me fore warn you...and maybe I shouldn't, but these places change caregivers a lot...for one thing they don't pay well, which is a crime, I think...and many just can't handle the tidius tasks and they may not be well trained, as they should be.
It is a very good thing to be there often cause it helps them to know you are aware and watching...My mom is 89 and is in a home (luckily) where there are only 31-32 residents.
I have found if I take the caregivers treats it makes them realize I appreciate what they do. As I do. And I am always checking with the nurse and the head nurse about her care and her meds.
I have no idea how big of a place you G-Ma is in, and don't feel too badly because they have the medical staff there they need and they also have a routine, which dementing people need to feel some order in their life. It is very difficult for them and you must learn to live in the moment with them.
I am assuming you have researched and done some reading. 36 Hour Day is a good book as is Dancing with Rose.
My best to you as well as my prayers...:O) Hugs G-Ma Johnson
P.S. sorry to be so long, I go to 2 support groups a month and it is so much help...
You know, one thing you can do is put pictures of her in her room, of her in better days, with family and pets. This helps make her a "real person" to the people who care for her, not just an "old person". It really does make a difference.
Gma- Thanks so much, Much wisdom flows from you, hopefully this is just a temporary thing until we can bring her home with home health nurse, mom is adding a room to her house for that purpose, I am sure all things will work out fine, it just scares me sometimes.
Candie, I tried to put up pictures but my grandma want let me, yet... If there are pictures, it makes her feel more at home which should be great but it also makes her think she is there peremanantly. She has always been so independent,
Thans for the support from both of you, it means alot
dori
Hi dori, My own grandma is nearly 90 years old,, She is able to do all her work independently with very litle help now and then.She never went to scholl, but, has been a source of inspiration for the entire family with her understanding and wisdom. Living in a large farm house in a village ,She used to climb trees right upto the age of 70!..We count each day spent with her as a blessing ! It was lovely going through your experience with your grandma...thanks a lot for sharing :)
Wishing you and your Grandma all the best...
She needs the medical care at this very moment, so it is good she is there...altough not very easy to any of you.
Wishing you that she comes home soon.
Lots of love.
Hi there, your granny looks fine now! I wish her the best and hang on in there, you're doing just fine :)
Your granny will be fine........ there will be wonderful staff there that will look after her 24/7. have you heard the expression once an adult twice a child. Grannies will tug at the heart strings of their families, as much as children do.... Enjoy every minute with her get to know the staff..... and always remember the elderly bruise very very easily. Be thinking about you.... give her a huge hug from me.....
Tatjana thanks and I know you will be thinking of us, that's just who you are.
Brenda, thanks so far so good, she's had alot of company and she loves that! It's almost taking my child to daycare, you hate to let go and leave but you know you have to and they will be ok.
hugs,
dori
It's so hard to do what you've done, but sometimes the elderly need better care than we can give them at home. Just promise me you'll visit her each week. I worked at a dementia care unit and it broke my heart that nobody visited their old relatives. they put them there and forgot about them. Please visit her regularly!
My heart jumped when I saw your granny's picture. She looks so much like my sweet granny who has been dead about 12 years now. I also took care of my other grandmother until she died. It wasn't easy, and I do admire you for taking care of her. I know your heart breaks having to leave her there. Maybe after she recuperates a bit, you can find some decent in-home health care for her. In this case with a granny cam, instead of a nanny cam. I will be praying for you both.
God bless!
Dori I wish you the best In these challenging times . I know you have difficult decisions . But I am prayin for ya ! Best to you .
Hi Fortunerep, My heart goes out to you on this one. I can relate to the horror of having someone put in a "rehab hospital." Given the medical issues your Granny has going on, the important thing is getting her medical needs tended to. If she is refusing PT, can she get around in a wheelchair?
Does she have an advanced medical directive? Do you know what her wishes are and who is making medical decisions for her? Is that you?
Depending on your financial situation, you could move her back into your home with a care nurse -- that is, if you want to. I am pretty sure the hospital to rehab hospital is a "standard" transfer. But that doesn't mean the rehab hospital can keep your Granny there if the people responsible for her legally don't want her to stay.
It does sound like you would have a tough time trying to convince her that cooperating and doing the "work" of PT will hasten her ability to come home where she wants to be. Otherwise, do the best you can in making her comfortable there.
You have loads of friends and support here on HP. Keep writing your truth and reaching out. We're here for ya! Hugs and add my prayers to Tony's. MM
Mighty Mom,
Hi! Granny would rather stay in the bed than in a wheelchair. She has Thrombosis ? in her legs, her knees are as big as basketballs, I am not sure how aggressive their pt is going to be > I just want to bring her home, she will never walk again, she doesn't want to.
Hi Fortune Rep, then bring her home! Sounds like physical therapy is a waste anyway. That is a euphemism -- "Rehabilitation Facility" when really it is just the next step towards death.
Again, don't know what legal docs you have in place for Granny. I hope she has made her wishes clear in a document that says she wants to be AT HOME. You can bring in a caregiver for less $ than it costs for the care OF THERE AND BACK HOME!!! I hope her doctor is sympathetic.
You are a wonderful granddaughter, by the way. And we are pulling for Granny and you. Hugs, MM
Mighty Mom,
My mother and I are discussing it, making arrangements for her living area and such, all docs and wills are in place, this granny is smart! We were not even aware that she had a Living Will, don't know why she didn't bother to tell us! She said she forgot, but all is in place, she is just not ready yet, she is very sore so she wants to heal before moving back home, which is a great idea.
thanks and hugs
dori
It's a terrible and hard decision to make. A happy spirit and peace of mind are the greatest treasures we can hold in our hearts. My heart and thoughts are with you.
Sounds as if you are doing your best - it's a wonderful relationship. Thinking of you and your Granny.
I know this was a difficult decision in your life. I remember when my grandparents had to go into a nursing home.
You are doing what is best for her by being there for her and looking out for her best interest. It sounds like you have found a good place for her.
You and your grandmother are in my thoughts and my prayers.
I know this was a difficult decision in your life. I remember when my grandparents had to go into a nursing home.
You are doing what is best for her by being there for her and looking out for her best interest. It sounds like you have found a good place for her.
You and your grandmother are in my thoughts and my prayers.
You are so loving and caring and it is wonderful that you visit her everyday. She will get better before you know, just don't forget about her after awhile. You should be a nurse too!!!:)
Doro you are a true diamond but I always knew that anyway, you can tell even over the internet. I hope she gets better and well take a big hug my friend, in fact take another one !!
Thanks BC, so are you!! Three hugs back to ya!
Doro?
dori
fortunerep,
Sorry to hear about your Granny. It so important to have caring people in our lives always. It's nice that your one of those people. Wishing your granny all the best...
make sure you stay committed to reviewing those videos caught by your nanny cam...have you seen oprah? the nanny knew the patient's daughter had a security video but also knew that this woman doesnt have the time to review those videos so she went on abusing the father who had alzheimers...
use enounce myspeed playback coz it can help you reduce the review hours...best of luck
make sure you stay committed to reviewing those videos caught by your nanny cam...have you seen oprah? the nanny knew the patient's daughter had a security video but also knew that this woman doesnt have the time to review those videos so she went on abusing the father who had alzheimers...
use enounce myspeed playback coz it can help you reduce the review hours...best of luck
Your wonderful and God is too! He will take care of Granny and you! I pray PEACE over the both of you! I pray protection in the name of JESUS!!! God will guide you, listen to the small still voice my sister!!! By the way, your beautiful!! God Bless you and Granny!!!
dohn121 says:
5 months ago
Before, I read your hub about how you moved her into your house. I can tell that she is a very strong will and strong witted woman. I wish you and yours all the best.