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Kid's Quotes

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Home is where the house is. --Age 6

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. --Age 5

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with. --Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. --Age 13

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him. --Age 10

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. --Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. --Age 13

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. --Age 7

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Kid's Proverbs

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Strike While The... Bug Is Close.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Smell funny in the morning.

There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Edie.

Better to be safe than..............Punch a 5th grader

Strike while the .........................Bug is close

It's always darkest before...... Daylight Savings Time

Never underestimate the power of........Termites

You can lead a horse to water but........how?

Don't bite the hand that.............. looks dirty

No news is.............................impossible

A miss is as good as a.............. Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new......math

If you lie down with dogs, you'll..........stink in the morning

Love all, trust.............................me

The pen is mightier than the........pigs

An idle mind is..................The best way to relax

Where there's smoke there's.......pollution

Happy the bride who...............gets all the presents

A penny saved is....................... not much

Two's company, three's..............the Musketeers

Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go to bed

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and........you have to blow your nose

None are so blind as.................Helen Keller

Children should be seen and not.....spanked or grounded

If at first you don't succeed.........get new batteries

You get out of something what you....see pictured on the box

When the blind leadeth the blind.....get out of the way