You hear that cliche one too many times... Heck, it's even in a song...

"My friends keep telling me... That if you really love her, you gotta set her free... But if she returns in time... I know, she's mine..."

Agree?

I absolutely don't... You see, it's not really love when the guy who left you comes back. Somewhere along the way, there's a more shallow, egotistic agenda behind all that "Take me back" drama.

I've seen this on Oprah some years ago and Ive been looking for that book "He's Just not Into You" since then. And I guess I was smart enough to realize that there's no point in starting over something that has already ended. Once it's over and done with, it deserves to stay that way. No point in living in a relationship zombie.

It's only rare that a guy asks a second chance because of some startling epiphany that well... he really can't live without you. Other than that, usually, getting back will involve either of these 4:

1. REVENGE

2. PITY

3. NOOKIE

4. CONVENIENCE

1. Revenge:

In most cases, this often happens when you're caught cheating or when the problem is really with you. Were you a control freak? Were you abusive? Or were you being such a nasty lil spoiled brat... Either way, you have to understand, they're just as human as you are... and revenge is also human nature.

2. Pity

Harsh much? Not so, for the guy atleast. Though they may have good intentions when they took you back to keep you from killing yourself (or atleast, to shut you up from making all those suicide threats) nothing's more pathetic than succumbing to the fantasies that he still needs after all that. He left you for 1 reason.. HE JUST DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE... So before you take in the role of the victim and decide to do some emotional blackmail so he could take you back... PLEASE, GET OVER YOURSELF... Pick up the pieces and move on with your life... Look for someone who doesn't see you as a charity case...

3. NOOKIE

He knows you'd be willing to do anything just to get him back.... including tearing off your clothes and throwing yourself at him. Desperate much? Absolutely. Besides... who'd be stupid enough to resist a free nookie... Nothing comes for free anyway. But be warned ladies... Just because he went to bed with you it doesn't completely mean he wants you back. He just took your bait for the nookie and that's just about it. And when the time comes he finds someone else, he'll drop you off like a hot tamale. That's the way the cookie crumbles sister....

4. CONVENIENCE

He also knows you'd be willing to get him back after all he puts you through. All he has to do is put on that sad "Baby, I want you back..." facade and you'd be back together in a heart beat.

Let's put it this way sister... You're his spare tire.... If things don't work out with the other one or if being single get's a little too boring, he has you to come home to... Until the urge to be single again strikes back... Why you, you may ask? Because he knows you'd be willing to take him back.... Break the cycle... Move on and get over him....

So the next time he does come back from outer space and walks in with that sad look up on his face... Better think twice giving him another chance... He already left you back then and there's a big chance he'd do it again.