Even before I left my husband, my oldest son was just plain difficult when it came to getting him to do his homework. My husband always used video games as a reward for getting ready easily or doing his homework easily, and now my son is seriously addicted to video games. My husband has always encouraged my son to play the "army game" (A VERY violent military game played online with adults), which I think is a very bad influence. I tried to discourage the addiction, but my husband was very "in my face" about it, telling me how it was okay and that I was overreacting.

Now it is a serious problem. Of course, my narcissistic husband pretends to agree with me finally that there may be a problem. (No, really?!!!)

My son likes to play video games for hours on end. To the exclusion of everything else in the world. So recently, much to his chagrin, I started grounding him from playing on the computer (or ANY game system!), so that he may rejoin our lives and live in the land of the living as opposed to living in video game land.

The kids went back to school this week, and my son had homework today. The teacher had told him to write the state capitals on the back of a piece of paper that had a map of the states and their capitals on the front. When he showed me his homework, he had only written the city names and not the state names. When I quizzed him, he had no idea what the states were.

So, I proceeded to tell him to write the initials of the states next to the city names he had already written. I also gave him the option of writing it all on a separate piece of paper instead. He refused, and he started to get cocky with me.

I let him know, by extending his grounding and hiding a movie he wanted to watch (until he has done the work), that he is not allowed to treat me that way. He threw a tantrum for two hours. I am not joking. BUT, right now, he IS DOING THE ASSIGNMENT.

Ignoring his tantrums and being consistent is working wonders. These children are now living in a broken home (see my other articles for an explanation of that), and I had started worrying about their behavior. So I joined parenting classes (4th round of voluntary parenting classes for this family, no less!) again, and I have found that being in that environment on a regular basis helps me keep my eye on the ball, so to speak, where parenting is concerned.

Wish me luck on the rest of his childhood. I have not won the war, by any long stretch of the imagination, but today at least, I won one battle.

Yay, me! (Even though it is HIM who really wins by learning!)