First of all, if you clicked on this thinking you would be reading some homophobic rant by someone who is angered, upset, pissed off or otherwise threatened by homosexuality, you will be sorely mistaken.

I am a heterosexual female, although I have, on occasion, kissed a girl (And found it to be a pleasurable experience.) I also have a fascination for breasts. I find them beautiful. I don’t believe either of these admissions in any way compromises the base nature of my sexuality, I just believe that all human beings have the capacity for some sexual curiosity.

So, not being a homosexual, but always curious, here’s what confuses me. 

My family was dining in a restaurant, and near us was a table of perhaps 6 to 8 women.  I have no idea if all of them were lesbians, nor do I care.  Two of them obviously were, since they were actively canoodling and kissing.  Not to the point that they were obnoxious, just obviously two women quite ‘into’ each other.

One of these two women was just as non-descript as the rest of the table, just a pretty lady, looking like everyone else.  Nothing whatsoever that gave away her sexual preferences either way.

The other half of the PDA couple was a different story altogether. She obviously was the ‘man’. In fact, what came to mind during the next 30 minutes or so was from the movie, The Witches of Eastwick, wherein Cher told Jack Nicholson, “You have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality, and even discovered a few new ones.”

This woman had a mullet, for God’s sake. She wore long shorts with white tube socks and loafers, a wife beater T-shirt and had her wallet on a chain. She was loud and boorish and I expected her at any time to yank out a penis (real or otherwise) and piss all over the table to mark her territory.

So here’s my quandary. I assume that a woman is a lesbian because she is attracted to other women. So what does a woman who is channeling the least desirable traits of a man have to offer to a woman who supposedly only likes women?

Quite honestly, I have always thought that men who dressed and behaved in the above manner were what would send an ambiguous lesbian screaming to the other side!

My family discussed this, quietly, amongst us at the table. Yes, I have open and HONEST discussions regarding social and sexual issues with my children.     Shocking, I know.

All the while, the overly curious part of my personality

(read: NOSY!)

wanted to pull the pretty young woman aside and ask WHY?

I know some women are attracted to bad boys, but that’s a really weird twist to it!

I have seen also gay couples where one of the guys exhibits over-the-top feminine characteristics. Some to the point of almost satirizing ‘girly-girls’. So, my question to the ‘guy’ in that relationship, if you truly are attracted to men, what could you possibly want from a man who tries so desperately to act like a girl?

Call me simple-minded, but I just don’t get it.