HOT Hub to Hub OBLIVION
76Hubs Dead Man, Hubs Dead
MISSING
My hub is missing. I can't find it. I think it is dead.
Since writing and posting three weeks ago it has always been found on the first one or two pages of Hot Hubs. I would log on, click on the hubs tab and there the hub would be. Those doggy eyes and doggy paws draped over the end of the double bed with a dried and scaly set of male and female human feet positioned either side of what came to be known as the stinky dog.
Last night I logged on, clicked on the Hot Hubs tab and it was gone. Not on the first page, not on the second page, not on the third, it was nowhere. Just gone.
Quick Background
I first joined HubPages 7 months ago because a friend recommended it as a way of earning passive income. I set up my Brainstormer account with a great catchy profile and concept which I was sure would work and which I now frankly admit would require the least amount of input from me. I am a busy bloke after all.
Brainstormer on HubPages
Profile Mark 1
.
"Do you have a problem that needs solving?
Submit it to me, tell me your problem.
If I like it, I will post it. If it has any socially redeeming points I will post it. If it's good for a laugh I will post it.
I will present and post your problem and your issues up on my HubPages account and then let the HubPage Community try and solve it.
Come on Hubbers, let's do a bit of Brainstorming and let's help those in need of a helping hand".
Well oddly enough that concept didn't work very well and no one was stupid enough to "participate" and after 6 months without a single bite I decided that I might actually have to do a bit of writing if I wanted in on the adsense millions.
Toms Cabin on HubPages
Toms Cabin
My Tom's Cabin account came next and being lazy I diligently went about surfing the Internet, cutting and pasting this and cutting and pasting that till I had three or four Hubs up and running and was pretty happy about the way things were going till I got flagged by the HubPages Police who had the audacity to suggest that I did not have much original content. Hmm these guys are good and although I felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar I secretly agreed with the original content policy. Well under house arrest in my little log cabin I figured I might as well resurrect Brainstormer and try and come up with something that was all me.
Dangerous move.
Chickens
Brainstormer Mark 2
So searching around for things to write about I thought that maybe diets would be good. But that appeared to have been done. Maybe sexy pictures of women would work but that had been done, and done, and done. So I did the next best thing and wrote a hub about chickens. No one had done that before and I couldn't understand why. Chickens are gold right up there with Merkins and I had the inside run, I could become the Chicken Hubber with a 100 hubs all about chickens and a 1000 clucky females all scratching at my feet. But I was wrong, and the hub was crap, I mean really bad. However, it was a start and I laughed at the video of the chickens doing their little dance but after getting super poor visitation I decided to go back to the drawing board and try to determine what would work at HubPages. In the end I decided to write about stuff. Stuff that I liked. Maybe even stuff that involved my bumbling attempts to get through life and might even include just a hint of a social issue or two. And sex. I love sex. Sex sells but with the HubPage adult content Policy I had to be a bit circumspect, a bit subtle and try and sneak it in through the back door. .Yeah I know, I know, writing a hub about "The Wife, The Dog and the BIG V" wasn't exactly subtle, more like using a tank to open a walnut, but I got excited and forgot. So sue me.
Having Fun
Well that seemed to work and I had a lot of fun writing and meeting new friends and we all had lots of fun writing comments and laughing and writing more comments until we all cried. Then we realized one day that there were no ads on my hub. Well that sucked, I mean bloody hell, but by then I was having too much fun so I didn't really care much at all. Certainly all my new friends didn't care that there were no ads, yeah you know who I am talking about. 23 hours team 23 miserable little hours. You just couldn't help yourselves could you? Hmm. Sorry I digress. Then again I blame myself. Let's face it I pushed the boundaries with this hub and I often felt that I had put our moderators in a difficult position by writing it. In my fevered imagination I saw late night meetings to discuss nothing else but "That Hub".
-
"We have to can it man, I mean it's about a bedroom toy."
"But it's funny and it does have a message and as a first attempt it reads quite well"
"No, No, No, No Way......Ok it can stay, but watch him, bloody Aussies".
-
Success
Now the thing is lots of people came a visiting to see what all the fun was about and this meant that my doggy hub was always to be found on the first two pages of Hot Hubs. It even cracked the ton or 100 HubScore for a little while. Too cool. Didn't earn me one adsense cent but whatever, I had found the secret of success at HubPages. Write about fun stuff.
Obituary
Then it died. Or perhaps it was murdered. One minute it was there and the next gone. Two hours later I found it way back in position five hundred and thirty eight. Two hours after that, and you have to applaud my commitment to following its burial procession, it was in position two thousand and one hundred and twelve. From Hot Hub to Oblivion in four hours. WOW. One minute it had over 150 visitors a day, every day, next minute it had a big blue arrow pointing straight down into the crypt. Well, may it rest in peace.
Why, Oh Why? Poor Little Sod Was Only 3 Weeks Old.
Now I am new to this HubPage thing and I am constantly assessing how it all works and I have come to the conclusion that I don't know nothing about nothing yet. However I think what happened was that the people up high in the HubPage Control Tower got bored with it and gave it a bit of a nudge into the grave. I don't blame them, even I was sick of the damn story.
Now you may think it scandalous that they who must be obeyed would take such an action and consign a hub to the deep. Me, I say well done. They are doing exactly what should be done. Let's keep some sort of turnover at the top and if the algorithm doesn't do it then do it yourself. Well that's what I reckon happened. Of course it may have just run out of batteries.
The After Life
So what happens to a hub that disappears off the radar? Is that the end or is there something else happening here? I pondered this and did what I always do when I need an answer, I Googled it. Not the question but the Hub, and there it was. My hub was still featuring nicely on Google. Now that is interesting, very interesting. Hmm I think I like this HubPage thing.
.
I once wrote a story about a plaything,
That buzzed with a certain amount of good Zing.
Then one day it was gone,
So I guess we say So long
To a hub that never went chin ching.
.
P.S.
About half way through the hub's public life I was busy writing my next hub about a dolphin that was just way too friendly when I received a message from HubPage Moderators. They saw what I was about to post and suggested it may not be such a good idea. In fact they suggested that if I wanted to go back to cutting and pasting other peoples work it would be Ok with them. Anything, just please stop writing.
Well, I made them a promise. I will scrap the dolphin story, I will behave, and I will never write anything ever again about my life or its sordid social issues again. It's careful clean living Brain from now on. I might even take up religion.
Hey is anyone writing about religion here?
P.P.S.
Ok so I didn't really get a message from the moderators asking me not to write anymore.
Just my over active imagination running wild again.
Sorry
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Comments
LOL. You know those Hubber Cops hide behind trees don't you. Plus they see everything. Omnipresent. Thats what they are.
Did you see how fast the hub sank. Man that was fast. I will probably go back in a week or so and clean it up a bit to see if I can get the ads back. But then again maybe I wont.
The nice thing is the power of HubPages. Good ranking on Google no matter where your hub currently sits. Follow the Flagship code, get it a fair hubscore and Google sees you.
Good to see you on the road to recovery, what was the medicine VB or Bundy.
btw I introduced Spryte to our mate Bundy. ;)
Good move, now there's a hub for you. "10 great Aussie drinks to give you a bad head", or "How I came to find myself sleeping on the couch - again"
You are not alone. All of my hubs seem to have disappeared as well. It couldn't possibly be a drop in traffic, could it? We are brilliant writers! I believe the word "prodigy" has been bandied about. I smell a conspiracy!
Ok, so maybe it IS a traffic thing, but I do love a good conspiracy theory. Back to the drawing board, I guess.
Hey Evil I like the conspiracy theory. Maybe B'man could right a Hub entitled "The Hubgate Affair" or a nostalgia one called "Goodbye Mr.Hubs"?.
Well Brainstormer, the answer's obvious.
The hub of course suggested bestiality. If you'd stuck to pics of celebrities in bikinis you'd be sweet as a pig in!
And this hub will be in trouble too after mention of Bundy. (In the US, he's a serial killer, not a wonderful beverage)
BT - Why aren't you off with the rest of the candidates with George Bush discussing the economy?
I was there, Eric, but I couldn't understand a word they were saying. What the hell is "strategerie", anyway? I guess all I can do is pay my (soon to be increased) taxes, and bide my time. In the meantime, Canada is looking better, and better as a primary residence!
B.T. - Oh yeah, love that concept. A conspiracy. I knew it, but should we be talking about it out loud. They watch you know. He may say he's in Vegas but it's only a ploy, and what was he doing there anyway? Contacts and contracts I say but I dare say no more.
Canada, na Oz, our beaches are better.
agvulpes - "Hubgate Affair" and "Goodbye Mr Hubs"? Why didn't I think of those. Gold, pure gold.
Eric - I know, I know, anybody would think I came from New Zealand.
I'm told that the great land of Oz is not very accepting to introduced species. I would likely be regarded as ferral, and would be much maligned! Since my kind are already prolific in Canada, I would blend right in. I also think I would have a shot at the Prime Minister job, there. Thanks for the invite, though. I'll keep it in mind.
Yeah your right, we even shoot Koalas and anything that hops in Australia is just fair game.
Brain, I am shocked your Hub has gone to oblivion, it was a great Hub, sorry if it was partly down to me :)
What was wrong with the Dolphin Hub by the way, i.e. why did they ask you not to post it??
Ooooooooooo, B.T. -- Prime Minister. Not THERE'S an office for you! My Mohawk far-relations would help you from their own political party they have had of old.
Brainstormer -- There is a sci fi story about a dolphin that was WAY too friendly, as you say. It's on tape, narrated by Rene Auberjenois. I must now find it!
Ahh I don't knose. It's a fish thing.
I am kinda glad the hub went bye bye. Sometimes things get old and stale and should be retired like a sixties rocker with no hair, no voice and two much weight. What was interesting was the way it sunk and how fast it disappeared. There should be a warning when you join HubPages not to become emotionally attached to your stories. I have now worked out that there is not only a HubPage Police but a HubPage Goon Squad as well whose sole job is quietly and quickly remove any old age pensioner hubs from view. The Police are tough, but the Goon Squad, man they are just plain nasty.
LOL This has nothing to do with your hub or somebody policing it. All hubs behave the same. The algo is intentionally skewed to favor newer hubs. This is done to ensure rotation on top. Your hub would not even get to the first page if algo was not doing this. This is just two sides of a coin, or unity of "good" and "evil" - just for Cindy ;)
LOL Misha, thanks for that :)
Well....it was fun while it lasted...
Did you really have that many false starts on hubpages? And if so...*smacks you upside the head*...that's for not just writing...cuz you obviously CAN write.
Well, Brainstormer, at least yours rose from obscurity for a few days of glory, like an olympic athelete overcoming unbeatable odds to take the gold. Mine begin in oblivion and there they remain. We could switch to topics to stuff like "How to peel an orange" or whatever, but where's the fun in that? No. Keep doing what you do! That's fun and we like it!
Hi Patty - I went looking for reference to the Rene Auberjenois tape but couldn't find it. Let us know if you find it again. I am a big fan of Sci Fi.
Misha - Come on man. Go with the conspiracy theory. Its more fun. When I had a think about the way it went west, and remember I am new here, I could see the value in the way the algorithm works.
spryte - it was great fun. I actually had or have two other false starts on HubPages. I won't lead you there but one was OK but I just got so bored with the content style that I axed it. The other lies dormant just waiting for enough people to say bad things about Vegemite before he shall come forth and protect the good name of the super spread. Be warned.
Hey Christoph - and this coming from the man who gave us "Redheads: Myths, Legends, and Famous Red Hair", "What Is A Metrosexual and How Not To Be One" and "What the Heck Is A Mushroom Truffle?" Which I think are the some of the funniest and best reads I have had in a long time. The dog may have jumped over the moon but you, well you have style.
Hey man , I told you not to mention the Vegemite, now your in deep deep trouble.
Oh no I just picked up that you say we shoot Koalas in Australia, how could you have forgotten to mention the Koala Stew??
Koala Stew. Yep, cooked with potatoes still in their jackets. Lots of butter, and mopped up with damper. Good Aussie tucker.
Do Koalas wear jackets then?
No just the potatoes. Koalas have fur coats silly.
Your just waiting for someone to ask you what a damper is aren't you?
Well we all know its what you wipe the Vegemite off with.?
Surely a damper is something that isn't as damp as the thing next to it!!
You're right about not getting too attached to your work. We writers are funny about that. But then, after all, a piece of writing is a creation that has a birth, gets nurtured and grows, then gets escorted out the door into the big wide world to fend for itself. Who knows what it will meet on its perilous jorney?
The good news, as you say, is that you made new friends in the process, and the Hub is still around, not dead at all, just maintaining a lower profile at HP. And if it went out of fashion here because of the algo, it's still leading the high life on Google. All in all, I think that's what happens to a lot of good pieces of writing. They take a different direction after a while and continue the journey in a different way.
I enjoyed your musings on what happened to the wife, the dog and the big V, and even more, on your approach to finding your voice on HP.
Thumbs up!
Ag - you wipe vegemite off with a teaspoon then lick the spoon clean. Hmm Vegemite. Or a damper works as well. Hmm damper.
Misty - very close.
Sally - Hi again. Isn't it funny how much we do become attached to our work. Each and every creative writer on HubPages must take a degree of satisfaction from a completed hub. Its one of the attractions of HubPages. You get to post one of your works, watch it's hubscore increase, take delight in other peoples comments and sometimes it can appear high in the Hot Hubs area. Then you send it off to the search engines to grow and develop some more without you having to watch it all the time. Perfect child really. Now if I could only get my kids to leave home. Sods are costing me a fortune.
Now misty I dont know if its you or me but surely a damper would be damper than the damper next to the dam damper. Or what?
ag - good on ya. I actually resisted doing that, damn it.
This one might really upset you now but here goes anyway.
Go "STORM"
still mates?
Completely confused now, what with all these damper definitions :)
Hey Misty. Do they have damper in the parent country? If not it might be interesting to to find out its origins. That's what I love about HubPage comments, it leads you off down paths I would never have thought about going. I have always just accepted damper as being, well damper. Now you have got me thinking about its origins.
Thanks Misty
The closest I could come up with for damper would be to "damp" something such as a fire. By "damping it down" you put it out. Otherwise the word "damper" could be used to say making things a little less lighthearted, e.g. such as if someone was feeling pleased about a good grade in an exam, and then someone else pointed out that they could have got a higher grade still if they had studied harder. You would say the second person "put a damper on the conversation".
Your story tickled my funny bone, that is how some of my hubs are they are alive and well and then I have to say goodbye. A couple of them resurrected after 6 months I haven't any idea how that happened!! Great Article !!!
I looked the origans of the traditional bread damper up last night and you are right. The name comes from the way the bread was cooked on the coals of a damped fire.
Thanks, as an Aussie it was cool to go off and find out the origins of "damper".
G'day AEvan and thanks for calling past. How cool would that be to see a hub come back after six months. It kind of defies logic that it could rise up out of the ashes and make a resurgent appearance. I wonder if that's a search engine generated come back?
At first I thought not to comment, but this was just TOO FUNNY to ignore! So there you go: it was HILARIOUS...and nice note about the Hubber Police.
Jen - G'day and thanks for calling past. Coming from the founder of the East Valley Authors chapter of the Romance Writers of America, this is a bonza comment.
Somewhere in my youth I remember reading that if you are going to write, then know your audience. At HubPages via the internet that's easy. It's anyone with a modem. So when you get a comment from someone who enjoyed reading one of your stories it makes you feel great that at least there is one other person on the planet with a similar funny bone.
Thanks Jen, you have made my day.
P.S. About the Hubber Police. You have to watch out for them. They are sneakier than a highway patrolman who hasn't met his daily quota yet.
I love writing about personal experiences, though I don't know how I could put them into Hub-worthy Hubs. :( It kinda puts a damper on things. I once wrote an amazing personal short story for a creative writing class that got such good reviews, my ego exploded (if only, as my mother would say. She's so sick of my ego about my writing ability, she's ready to break my fingers). And I loved your doggie/v-toy hub. It made me giggle way too hard. :-P I'm surprised it's gone that far into Hub-Hell! D: You're a brilliant writer nonetheless. Got any other funny junk for me to spend my time gandering? :-D
I have just come back from visiting your work. Considering your own literary brilliance I am chuffed by your words.
I understand your ego in regards to your writing. I think most of us here at HubPages do. So it is safe to assume you are amongst good friends.
Although surprised the doggy hub went so quickly down into oblivion I probably shouldn't have been. The dog is Satan's Little Helper after all and if any of belong in hell it is the dog.
Looks like this hub is now Hot!
You done it again Brainstormer! And without the dolphin too!
Me thinks the Hub cops are teamed up with Google satelight heheh
It's a pity about the dolphin story; I wonder if I publish it under a different account would that be breaking a promise. Good to see you again anime_.
digitalblue - g'day mate. They have access to all the latest technology. My concern is, the HubPolice control us, but who controls the HubPolice. I think you are too close to the truth with your satellite comment for your own safety.
Brainstormer - I like your style! I never saw the missing hub, but I enjoyed this one well enough. Remember, too, that a writer writes...always!
Jim Henry, aka crashcromwell
Well, you've replaced one number one with another number one. Whatever the algo is, you have it figured out. I suspect it has something to do with writing well. I love the whimsical nature of this hub. Just plain delightful to read. Keep writing man, you'll have all ten spots. (But you should do the dolphin hub, imo.)
Hi Jim – given your journalistic background and qualifications I feel gratified that you like the hub. One of the things I am finding out about HubPages that it is a terrific place to learn how to write. There are a lot of very talented writers here who seem very free with their tips on how to put a story or hub together. This is a bit of a steep learning curve for me so don’t be backwards about critiquing anything I post. Though if you are too harsh I will simply hit the delete button. That’s another thing I like about HubPages.
Shadesbreath – speaking of talented writers how’s it going. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Maybe I will do the dolphin Hub. It was about a girl who had this pet dolphin and one year she took it to band camp and… Then again maybe I had better not.
Oh go on Brain. I'm wondering whether it has any resemblance to a story that ran in the UK recently about a guy who got arrested for becoming too friendly with a local off-shore Dolphin named Dave. Seriously! This is a true story!
Anyhow, I'm sure you will go from success to success because you're so good at writing humour, and well-written humourous hubs do spectacularly well here on hub-pages.
I am so, so sorry to hear about the ads, Brainstormer. It’s a downright shame. Shame on these guys! Shame on them for polluting such a brilliant, educational and literary hub! Shame, shame, shame!
I can relate to your pain. Man, I feel your pain. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it happen too. Weeks of Hot Hubs Domination and all of the sudden: poof! It’s gone. And you ask yourself: why? Why me? Why? After all, the hub didn’t change, not really. So how could it be that it’s not that interesting anymore? Beats me. But it hurts, I know. Maybe we should start some therapeutic group thing here on HubPages. A hub for One Day Flies, life after hub-death. Or something.
Golly, leave the bloke alone for a while and he becomes a legend. Now I know how Dean Martin felt. Oh well!!
I know what he is, he's..... he's like Nancy Sinatra. A "One Hub Wonder"
"These hubs are made for laughing
and that's just what I'll do
Some of these days the hubs
are gonna laugh all over you"
I don't know... But I bet brainstormer does look smashing wearing this: http://www.nancysinatra.com/images/home/nsblkdress
Yer Baby!
Sadly I dont have the legs for that little number. Then again maybe I do. I like yur song ananta. It's got atitude.
I've just been ran over by the Hub cops! Made a perfect hub on examining the ten scrolls of wisdom (Og. Mandini), inserted tags which related to words within the story.
Then a mail arrived from the cops, stating that the hub has been thrown into clink for deceitful description. I now await the sentence which I should imagine will be 100 hours of community service.
Seriously though, I spent long hours penning the article which shall be a loss to the hub community. Since the obtrusive beating from the cops, I have submitted the first of 10 articles of self improvement to an article site and it has been published with glowing apraisal.
I feel I no longer have the heart to give HP the benefit of my content contributions (without the authors) there woud be no HP.
P.S ~ there was absolutely no spamming within the article - no affiliate links, just a genuine desire to help others.
I may post (if I'm allowed by the cops), sections of the hub in these comments as proof - what do you think?
I think the Hub Police might've gone a little too far. That hub sounds downright awesome, and I would have loved to read it! What was the title?
Ok kika ~ i may be further reprimanded by but what the heck ~ here is the introduction ~ title = Ten scrolls of wisdom (Og. Mandini) ~ these are my own thoughts!
Imagine you had the opportunity to leap through a portal, rather like in the fiction of Harry Potter?
You wander through cobbled streets populated by strangely clad beings. The sound of merriment draws you towards a lively tavern to the left of you. The smell of freshly baked bread wafts into your nostrils, beckoning you towards the bakery.
A milling crowd grabs your attention; they are wagering gold pieces on the outcome of a rooster fight. You are tempted to join in as your fingers clasp the outline of your money bag. Then in the corner of your eye, the creaking sound of a hanging sign snaps you away from temptation.
Gold letters announcing" The ten scrolls of wisdom", seem to sparkle, and draw your feet towards the old curiosity Shoppe. As you step through the oak doors your eyes become accustomed to the glow of brass wall mounted lanterns and you notice there are no physical items for sale, no counters displaying goods.
Suddenly, a withered hand is placed onto your shoulder ~ it startles you. "Welcome my child", the old man smiles. "You have done well to resist the temptation that surrounds the world outside". You notice that everything about the old man ~ his nose, his chin, his ears, his gold filled teeth, his robe, his sandals, and his hat, are all pointed, like a wizard.
"Come, I shall show you the scrolls of wisdom", he urges you to follow towards a locked iron cladded chest.
"Have you eaten today"? He asks. You shake your head. "Would you like to see what is inside the chest"? You nod your head. The old man waves a long pointed finger towards your money bag, "Are you willing to give up what you have, to receive the contents"?
You hesitate, remembering the old saying ~ curiosity killed the cat. "There are no baskets of food, nor caskets of wine within" he holds out his hands, one empty, looking to be filled, the other reveals a golden key, nestling in its palm. "Just ten scrolls of paper, each with its own pearl of wisdom".
Now YOU ask yourself ~ what would you do in this situation? Give up your savings for pieces of paper that promise to guide you towards everlasting wealth and happiness. Or walk away, to indulge in the temptations of today.
No need to ponder ` GIVE AND YE SHALL RECEIVE ' is one of the biggest secrets of building wealth and happiness. It also leads to inner health within oneself, which is the greatest gift of all.
Here, I present you with the 1st scroll of wisdom from the book "The greatest salesman who ever lived" by one of the greatest story tellers of all time ~ Og. Mandino.
I have no other incentive, but to give. I am not affiliated to book sellers, it is up to yourself to search for this marvel of a book and purchase it for your future happiness. Meanwhile we shall delve deep into its meanings.
Sorry about the delay in responding. I get called away from time to time.
I take it you put your case to the coppers. They generally from what I have heard will listen to reason. The advantage of having a person there somewhere instead of just the bots.
Good luck bud.
If you think the song’s got an attitude, you should meet me one day, Brainstormer *lol*
And if the boots are high enough who’s going to notice your legs?
Can you post a link to that article, digitalblue2u? I’m quite anxious to read the rest of what you’ve written.
Where are you Brain, everyone is asking, especially if you go to Shades hub :http://hubpages.com/hub/Plant-Racism-Hatred-in-the
We miss you :) :) :)
agvulpes says:
14 months ago
Let me be the first to apologise if myself and your new friends got you into trouble with the Hubber Police.
I'm sure that they will agree with me that we should rally around and work to get this Hub up into the Hot Tub where it belongs.
So come on guys and gals lets do it for the "Brain"
Guys........Guys..............Guys. has everyone jumped ship?
Religion?, what would I know I'm only a bloody fox.