Hair Piece Out

Hair Piece Out! - Don't Get Me Started!

I understand the loss you feel when you start losing your hair. The good news for me is that my hair loss is being kept at bay by drugs and sprays. Also it's happening in the back of my head so I can fool myself into believing that it isn't really happening because I don't have to look at it unless I hold a mirror to the back of my head while looking in the mirror in the morning. So I get it that you would want to do something about your hair loss but I also believe very strongly that whatever you do should look as good as possible. On a daily basis I see so many men wearing the worst hairpieces imaginable and I just have to say, hair piece out! - Don't Get Me Started!

I don't care if you're the president and a member of the hair club or not, you're pedaling some of the worst imitation hair I've ever seen. If we can put a man on the moon, couldn't we find something that replicates hair a little bit better at this point? I can't take the way it just sits on the head like a hair hat and the worst is the attempt at "blending" on the sides of the head that don't really blend at all. Almost always there's a fiber in the back of the head flipping up, going the complete opposite way of the rest of the "hair" on the head of the guy. The hair piece is basically just a mistake and when you look at the other alternatives like Elton John's hair plugs to Prince Valiant in thirty days look, I'm not thinking that is the answer either.

On the complete other end of the spectrum are the guys who think they're going to be proactive about everything and just shave their head altogether. You know, showing the world just how much they really don't care. This is good in some cases but not so much in others, you have to wonder if they didn't know that the shape of their head was something akin to a mutant sweet potato before they started shaving? These guys also spend more time shaving, moisturizing and polishing than most women and are fussier about it than some men are about their hair. Lex Luther's of the world unite! Speaking of bald heads can someone explain to me the hoopla around ex-NBA star John Amaechi's (who came out recently) big endorsement deal? I get that the deal is with a supposed mainstream product, The HeadBlade, Inc. (A razor shaped to go along with the contours on your head) and don't get me wrong, I'm glad that he got the endorsement deal even if he was the "G" word but let's face it, a razor for your head isn't quite like the Nike swoosh. I'll go ahead and just wait for a deal with a company like that before I pull out my pom poms of excitement over gays getting the same deal as straight sports figures. But once again, that's a blog for another day...back to those who have "hair."

But hairs (forgive the pun) the deal. Most of the men who wear the God awful hairpieces walk around as if they are really something. The love themselves so much I don't know how anyone else even puts up with them. They spend so much time looking at the thing in the mirror, adjusting it, patting it, and practically making love to it. They walk among us acting almost superior to us with their hair hats. Let me tell you something boys, you put Astroturf on your noggin, you didn't get Steve Austin's Bionic eye or anything. Perhaps some of the toxic glue starts to seep into their brains mutating them into thinking they're hot when they're not. And don't expect me to break out a telethon or even throw an intimate pity party for you guys. You're mentally ill if you think you're fooling anyone with that "Har" (you know it's a little like that imitation crab meat they call Krab) on your head and you need to just accept yourself for who you are and cut that shit right off your head as soon as possible. The only one you're fooling is yourself, the rest of us are saying, "Hair Piece Out!" - Don't Get Me Started!