Handling Role Confusion in Your Child's Class
64Tips for Helping Your Child's Teacher
One, ask the teacher how you may help. Do not presume to know this information. Be prepared to share a couple of ideas. Flexibility is key to maintaining good help.
I know these suggestions to be true based on experience. Yes, I am both good and bad at being a room mom. Here are lessons I learned from the classroom.
- Do not check out a stack of books and take them to your child's teacher with the expectation of her reading them to the class, or having them read on their own. Ask if this idea would be helpful - before you check out the books!
- Keep ideas at parties simple and remember, you are using supplies that belong to the whole class. The teacher may need them at another time. Use them sparingly and take what the teacher suggests. He or she knows the classroom best.
- Be ready to do a different task than what you usually do. A few times, my daughter's teacher asked me to complete a job she did not anticipate needing help with, and I did it. It was never hard, just different.
- Be ready to work with others. In my daughter's room, you will find a set of assistants. These people can ask you to do jobs too. Accept them and be grateful for their presence.
True Story
For much of the second half of the school year, I found myself in my child's classroom. My goal was simple; to be of assistance to the teacher. I came in each Friday and copied papers for the following week. I also listened to students read, offered encouragement, organized supplies and papers, and answered simple questions. One of the favorite requests of the students was to ask me to sharpen their pencils.
This was fine with the teacher and other personnel learned to know me. I became a regular fixture at the school. Over time, my helping created a small dragon of trouble. When it reared its head, I knew it was time to step out of the class and let the teacher have the full space.
The trouble began in the smallest of ways. My daughter, 10, experienced some mild conflict with two other students while at recess. I received a full "accounting" of how it all happened. This was two days before Spring Break. The next day, I stopped in to give her the dress she was to wear while making a presentation to the class.
One of her friends told me his version of what happened; he was not directly involved. Then, he asked the two girls who were involved to agree with him. I told them to shake off the bad day and reminded them that childhood is short - way too short to let a small trouble cause them to stop being friends.
Then, I let the teacher know about the incident and the dean. I left that day thinking it was over. Then, my daughter gets in the car at the end, with a deep frown. She proceeds to tell me that all three of her former friends said they would tell their parents what I said.
This is when the dragon began sending flames through the air. I stopped to consider the situation. Different outcomes could take place. One, the parents could let it drop. Two, they could raise a fuss. Three, no one said anything more; yet, the tension could continue.
Anyway you look at it, I knew what really happened. The children developed a comfortability with me and I did the same with them. Instead of letting the teacher handle it, I inadvertently overstepped my place. The best choice was for me to help in a way that did not bring me into the room. That would limit the contact with me, and I with them.
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