There are a few points any perspective or new parent needs to realize with regard to "having a life" with a baby. Those points fall under two categories. The first category relates to definitions, expectations, and perspective. The second relates to the nitty-gritty, practical, aspects (and challenges) of having a baby AND wanting/needing to go out.

When you have a baby, two things happen at the same time: Your baby becomes your life, and your life is changed forever. While babies turn into children, and children eventually grow up, never again will you or your life be the same (for different reasons, depending on your child's age). Of course, once you have a baby you will have two people to keep fed, clean, and dressed - and one of those people doesn't care much about whether you have to be somewhere at a certain time.

The first thing you need to realize, as a new parent, is that having a baby defines you as a "parent". The definition of "free as a bird" no longer applies to you. This is where changing your expectations comes in. You can no longer expect to be "free as a bird", and if you do you're only going to end up resenting parenthood. Where you go, how often you go out, whether you bring the baby or find someone to sit with him all need to be addressed each time you consider going out. One expectation that needs to change is the expectation of ever "traveling light" with a baby. The irony of babies is that the inconvenience of lugging a bunch of belongings with you eliminates the inconvenience and distress of not lugging all that stuff.

This doesn't mean you can't ever go out, and it doesn't mean you can't "have a life". It does, however, mean that your baby is now a part of that life; and that's where perspective comes in. If you view your baby as an inconvenience and hindrence to "having a life" you will miss out on the very thing that makes being a parent such a joy. A baby is only a baby for a short time, and realizing that inconvenience and diapers will be a part of your life for a while is the sometimes the only way to keep things in perspective.

Provided you're headed somewhere that's an appropriate place to bring a baby, keeping the nitty-gritty, practical, aspects of going out with a baby can make life a lot easier.

The first thing to keep in mind is that your baby will probably need to both sit and sleep wherever you go, but also that whatever he sits and sleeps in must be carried on your hip. Have an infant seat that is easy to take along. Seats that are too large, too heavy, or just too awkward contribute to back ache and hip bruising more than less cumbersome ones. The seat should be safe, but not more awkward than it needs to be.

A good blanket is always important, A good blanket will serve a number of purposes. Besides making a comfy place for an older baby to sleep, a good blanket offers a place to change your baby if necessary. Changing pads, of course, are ideal for this purpose; but you never know when you'll want to cover someone's sofa or bedspread in order to lay your baby down and put his sweater and hat back on. Whether you want to protect your baby from germs or protect someone's bedspread from your baby's shoes, a blanket is important. A changing pad is a nice extra.

A large, lightweight, "baby bag" (with the absolutely vital, broad, soft, shoulder strap) will be your companion for several months. Buying one that you like (and that goes with whatever color clothing you wear) is a good idea. Making sure your baby bag is washable, however, is the most important prerequisite.

Breast-fed babies don't require the toting of bottles filled with formula;; but depending on your baby, his schedule, and your practices; you may want to bring extra breast milk in a bottle. If you do this you'll need to keep in mind that the bottle should be stored in a cooler or refrigerator.

If your baby takes formula, the safest and most convenient way to tote it along is in individual, un-opened, single-serve, bottles or cans. You don't need to worry about refrigerating un-opened containers. Bringing disposable "bottles" (bags) in their original box assures you'll always have plenty, but bringing several in a clean, zip-lock, bag takes up less space. Bringing along an extra nipple is always a good idea. (You never know when or where you'll drop one, or your older baby will throw one.) Bringing ready-filled bottles can be handy, but you need to know you can keep any extras cold. This means having access to a refrigerator or good cooler (but it isn't good to rely on coolers for long stretches between feedings).

Packets of the powdered form of your baby's formula are a good back-up to pop in your baby bag for those times when an unexpected feeding may be necessary.

If your baby eats solid foods, making sure you have what he's likely to need but also a little extra makes the most sense. For older babies, it's always a good idea to keep a container (or zip-lock bag) of any usual snacks. Dry cereal or small crackers don't require refrigeration and come in handy at restaurants and grocery stores.

If your baby uses a pacifier don't just bring the one he's using with you. Bring along a wrapped extra or two. Newborns are known for just letting them fall out of their mouths, and older babies are particularly likely to toss a pacifier he loses interest in for the moment.

Notice which toys tend to keep your baby the most entertained for the longest amount of time, and pop those into the baby bag as well. Since babies are often particularly entertained by something they've not seen before, consider keeping a few "travel" toys in the bag; but select them based on what it is about the tried-and-true toys that your baby likes.

As long as your baby is wearing diapers (and most do), bringing along an extra change of clothing (including - believe it or not - socks) is wisest. When the weather is warm, it's still important to bring along a sweater or jacket (weather changes, particularly when evening sets in). A hat for protection from cold or sun is another "must bring".

Extra diapers, of course, are a "must bring", as well. Keeping a few small plastic bags to wrap used diapers in hygienic and considerate. (Don't throw the dirty diapers in the over-loaded trash can at McDonalds. Wait until you have a better way to dispose of them.) If your baby wears cloth diapers you need plastic bags to bring home the dirty ones.

Cloth diapers serve more purposes than their intended use, so pack one or two in your baby bag, even if your baby is past spitting up. You never know when a clean, cloth, diaper will come in handy.

A small package of baby wipes is another one of those items that has multiple uses.

Shopping carts have been found to be among the most contaminated items used by the public, so having a pad (or blanket just for this purpose) is wise.

Baby "stuff" isn't the only consideration when you bring your baby out with you. Some babies will sleep anywhere. Some won't. Keep in mind that a tired baby is often a cranky baby, which (needless to say) does not make for a pleasant outing. If your baby will sleep anywhere that's half the battle. If he's the kind of baby who needs some degree of quiet, factor that in when deciding on where you'll bring him. Some babies who need quiet will do their sleeping in the car. When sleeping on the way to the destination isn't likely, it can make things easier if you stick with going to places that have a less stimulating environment. When deciding between something like a crowded and/or busy restaurant and a quieter, calmer, one; you may find it a more pleasant experience for all if you choose the latter one. Babies who are particularly affected by over-stimulating environments do better in calmer, quieter, places. Keep in mind, too, that a lot of noise can be over-stimulating for most babies.

Something that may often be overlooked is the fact that babies can find some seemingly "low key" settings a little too frazzling. A visit to your friend's house, where your crawling baby will be playing on the floor near other babies or older childen, can turn into "too much" after a surprisingly brief period of time. Giving your baby the chance to have breaks from particularly frazzling situations can make the difference between a baby who remains happy and one who becomes upset and frazzled.

Your baby IS your life, and he will change life as you know it. He is also, however, a part of your life; and the only way to live that life is to help him comfortably join you on your journey. Bringing along what it takes to meet his needs, and remembering that he needs to feel secure and protected wherever you go, can help you and your baby both enjoy your travels.