Here you are, you’ve decided to try on-line dating.

What happens next????

These are things that I have learned in the world of internet dating, spoken from the perspective of a woman over 40, who had not dated for a long long time!

Sorry guys, this is from a girl’s point of view, but I welcome your input or opinions.

But be nice, please.

My experiences were on match.com, but you’ll get the idea.

So, you’ve created your profile, your own little advertisement about yourself and how incredibly fabulous you are without sounding pretentious….. now what?

Once your profile is posted, you will probably generate interest right away, because you are new. The main ways you’ll be contacted are with “winks” or by emails to your inbox from the interested party.

You can check out his profile at this time, and decide how you want to respond. It’s up to you if you want to reply to “winks” if you are not interested.

I get the impression that most men “wink’ freely, and probably won’t really notice if you don’t respond. I tried to reply to all “winks” at first, but it just didn’t seem to be necessary.

Now I could be wrong, so that’s up to you. Any opinions, gentlemen?

I do think that it’s best to answer all email messages, even if you are not interested. That’s just common courtesy…. “thanks for your message, that was very nice, however, blahblahblah….” I’m sure you can think of something.

Of course you can show your interest and be the first to wink or send a message if you want. Some guys say they like it when the girl makes the first move… that is totally your call. But don’t chase the guy. Worst thing to do. Ever.

Not that I ever did that......I mean it.......Really.

But anyway….

Now if you are winked at and want to show your interest, you can wink back. I prefer to send a short message…”hi, thanks for the wink!” is good for starters. The same for responding to his initial email message, short and sweet.

Please, be careful about some “matches” that may contact you, the ones that are definitely up to something. (not sure what they are up to, but it is bad news, I’m sure)

If he looks REALLY good in his picture, like a guy from GQ or something, then it’s not him! Think about it. Take a good look, you should be able to tell. The photo will look too professional. Sometimes the picture is really small. The rock-hard abs also are a dead give-away...... you can bet that this person found that picture in a magazine or on-line and posted it as his.

Often these guys will say that they are widowed or divorced, and a single parent. They claim that they are looking for love and think you are wonderful and lovely and you may be his perfect match. Yeah right. He probably copied and pasted that message to dozens of other women in addition to you. Don’t even bother.

If it seems too good to be true, IT IS! Go with your gut instinct everytime.

But I digress….

So once you are messaging with this guy, (the real, regular one, not the fake GQ one), just give it some time. Hey, you may be in contact with two or three at a time, you never know!

He may ask right away for your phone number or to go out for coffee (that’s a really frequent request, and not a bad idea for a first date). But get to know each other better “hmm, coffee sounds interesting, but tell me more about you, Joe."

But don't call him Joe if his name is Travis.

Messaging for awhile may save you both a lot of trouble, because if the interest wanes, the emails will trail off and stop..... Next!

I can’t tell you how often to email him or how long to wait before answering his messages, do what you’re comfortable with. Don’t try to think too much into it and don't play games!!

Seriously, we’re not 16 years old here. Who wants to go through that again? Not me.

At this point, think about giving him your phone number. I don’t give out mine unless I already have his. That way when he calls, his number and name shows up on my called ID.

(Match.com also has the option to IM or have a “secure phone call,” but I haven’t tried that.)

Your next step is going to be a few phone calls, (let him do the calling, and for Pete's sake, don't wait for his calls) then the invite to meet.

Lunch or coffee is a good idea for the first time. Remember, this person is still basically a stranger. Find out his last name (hey, go ahead and Google him, you can never be too careful!) Drive your car and meet him in a public place. Tell someone else your plans.Avoid meeting for dinner…. Too dark, too late, and alcohol may be involved…not a good idea.

Not that I would know this personally, I’m just sayin’…….

Next chapter, the first date. Where you ask yourself...

How long are my palms going to be sweaty??

Do I have a booger in my nose? (you know you've wondered that before.)

etc,etc.....

I welcome your own experiences or tips.

Thanks for reading my hub!