Have you ever given help that left you feeling it wasn't needed or appreciated? When we volunteer our time or money, we do it hoping that we made a difference for someone. People need food right, so we go to the food pantry to drop off a donation of items that we think are good to share. We take our slightly worn clothes to our local Good Will hoping that someone will use them. I know that I have volunteered with the thought that my time is being well spent at some activity for others. But, have you ever thought to ask someone what is it that you can do to be more helpful? Can someone in need help me help them?

There was a saying that I heard when I was young, "Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life". I attended a high school graduation that had so many kids that were full of promise. They were excited about finally completing that long journey towards starting their adult life.  Many knew their next step, others were unsure of their how to even start their journey. This is were I decided to start my journey on understanding help.

We send our children to school to get an education that will carry them throughout their life. Sometimes during this learning experience, they starting making plans for their future. If you ask a 5 year old what does he want to be, most likely you will hear the unusual stuff like a race car driver or an astronaut. Now, I am not saying they won't get there but the story changes by the time they reach age 16. It changes to doctor, lawyer, or entrepreneur. Of course, I have yet to here anyone stating they want to be bump on a log. But, do we ever take stock into those kids that want a simple life? Simple life, what is that? Well, I asked my 6 year old what does he want to grow up to be and his answer surprised me. He said, "I want a family". His idea of growing up was to share his life with someone. He said that since dad worked from home he was happy to be able to talk to him at will, to hang out with him while he worked, and sometimes just to see him in his office at home. I got to thinking of jobs that he would like that could afford him the ability to make that dream come true. It is amazing that for the first time he helped me help him. I got to understand what he thought he wanted and how I can help him get there. The process of helping doesn't start at graduation. It starts with conversation.

Conversation is an exchange of ideas, desires, dreams, opinions, and experiences. When we open the doors for conversation we find more ways to help, to learn, to explore. I wanted to learn how to help. The part of service never really is about the act. The helping in the understanding. Understanding starts with talking, expression.