Help! I'm in a Relationship and Falling for Someone Else!
79Ouch. First of all, let me tell you that there is no way to resolve this situation without someone getting hurt. Either the person you're already dating is going to be hurt because you will probably either leave him or her or try for a while to date your current sweetie and the person you're falling for. Or the "someone else" you've fallen for is going to be hurt because either you choose him or her - and leave a huge deposit of doubt: will you do it again and fall in love with someone else? - or because you don't. And you're probably going to feel pretty bruised by the time this has all settled down. It's no fun to hurt other peoples' feelings, especially people you care about - and there's always the chance they both decide to have nothing further to do with you.
Of course, the easy thing to do is not get into this situation in the first place. You're dating, that usually means you're "taken." You are "off the market" and not supposed to be looking for a new sweetie.
Easy, yes, but not always realistic. Or possible. Sometimes things just...happen, and you didn't mean to fall for him or her, but you did and now what?
Now you need to be honest. Totally honest. If you've fallen for this new person deep enough that you're planning to leave your sweetie, and if the new person feels the same way about you, you do your current boyfriend or girlfriend no favors by continuing the relationship. End it now and give your soon-to-be ex the gift of dignity: being left for someone else is bad enough. Being lied to for months before being left for someone else is cruel and unnecessary. Don't do it. How would you like it if someone did that for you?
However, if the feelings are one-sided, and you're the only one having them, you need to sit down and be honest with yourself. What is lacking in your current relationship that you've fallen for this other person? What needs, real or imagined, do you think this new interest can fill for you that your current sweetie can't? And are you absolutely, positively sure your boyfriend or girlfriend can't fill those needs? Have you asked?
Sometimes people project "the perfect lover" onto someone else because they've got a notion in their head that this other person will meet every single need - it's probably why people tend to get major crushes on movie and television stars. Well, let me tell you, even movie stars have bad days and get cranky and pouty and lose their temper because the garbage hasn't been taken out in a few days. And so does this new person you've fallen for.
And what are you going to do if this "someone else" can't meet your needs either? Fall for someone else while you're still dating him or her? Pretty soon word's going to get around, and no one is going to want to date you - because they've heard you'll leave them high and dry for greener pastures. Can't say I blame them, really.
Light crushes on total strangers or good friends are okay. It's human. After all, you're dating, but you're not dead! But when the feelings start to run deeper - even if it's only on your part - the best thing you can do for everyone concerned is to sit down and try to figure out why.
How you act once you figure it out is completely up to you.
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Comments
I like this article.. I am currently in a sticky similar situation where I like a guy who has a girlfriend yet he has also confirmed he has feelings for me too.. I believe he loves his girlfriend yet is confused and continues to lead me on.. It's rough!! I just feel like even if he does break up with her we can never have a trustworthy normal relationship .. without me being pegged as a homewrecker. They're not married but he has been dating her for 2 years.
Looks like im the only guy to comment on here but what the hey! iv been in a relationship for 6 years,my girl friend hasent grown up and isnt very motivated at all which puts me right of because im the opposite and i get annoyed with her.not only that but her parents crowd her and dont allow her tho grow up and she is the only person to sort that side of things out not only that but her and my friend i have strong feelings for,i feel like if i was with her and we a had a child ,got married ,bought a house or any other big thing like that and i would be happy.but if i said the same thing with my current girl friend i would feel like i made a cock up as i dont feel very strong for her.we have been together since school im 23 now,and i feel like i need to do something before its to late.my current girl friend is thoughtful,and caring but i dont love her i cant because i lvoe her and mine very mature strong streetwise motivated friend,watch this space i could mess everything up but who knowsi hope not chaps,wish me the best of luck as i do with all you people out there who feel like they haft to hurt someonfe for their own selfish but life changing feelings.
i've been with my boyfriend for two years and i love him but i recently met a boy from my friend's college who is so sweet and respectful one night when i was out partying i texted him and told him i had feelings for him and he told me he felt the same way but he wasn't a homewrecker and wouldn't do anything unless i was single. we text all the time but now i'm so confused i love my boyfriend but i keep thinking about this other kid and i don't wanna lose either of them. ugh good luck to everyone in this position.
hi i'm a 16 years-old high school student and i'm in the same situation, i've been with my girlfriend for 5 months and i really love her, but sometimes i feel like she's very indiferent and it's like i hug and kiss her all the time but she never does that to me! she says she loves me but i'm not sure, and to make it worst this last month i became very close with a friend and at first i was very sure about what i felt for her but now i think i'm falling in love with her...but i have NEVER cheated anyone and i don't wanna start now, and i know it's not just lust because when i think of her i don't think about having sex with her, i imagine holding her hand and hugging her and kissing her and i even get all clumsy and nervous when she's around...i don't know what to do i LOVE my girlfriend but i really like this other girl and if i stay with my girlfriend and she doesn't really love me then i would lose a chance of finding someone who truly cares for me...
please help me
confused guy u hit my problem right on the nose.... right now the girl i love says she loves me and sometimes i believe her but its hard to believe when shes always crying and when shes not she'll poke fun at me.... she hates showing any affection in public but we never have a chance to be alone in private..... but a few weeks ago i met another girl and she is completely different than my current GF she laughs at my jokes she makes me laugh she always has a smile on her face and she and i had like an immediate connection i can see myself with her more than i can with my GF but its like i dont wanna hurt my GF but i dont wanna stay in something that i cant devote my whole heart to.... HELP!!!!
It sounds like were all in the same situation here!!
Im 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We have been living together as well so our relationship is really strong and healthy! We get along like best mates, i sometimes feel like im just a guy friend or he is a close girlfriend thats how good we get on.
We both work really hard and I just feel its starting to miss that IT factor. Like that fun that you have when youre single. Ive met a guy who i work with and hes desk is next to mine so were in each others company te whole time. I know he is always looking at me and really cool and funny and utterly gorgeous!! I find myslef thinking of him and not my partner and wanting to talk to him more. I know im flirting with him and i know his flirting back and thats what ive been missing in my relationship. FLIRT!!!!
I know its not worth breaking up with my boyfriend but how can I get that flirty spark in my relationship back????
same problem here,
trish your problem is recognizable I would say check if you still in love with your current boyfriend, and if he's the right person for you, which is utterly difficult when your in a long relationship.
I myself have a problem that I get feelings for other people I barely know. Just some moments of eye contact can be enough.
so i WAS in this situation and this is how i delt with it...
I am currently 17 and have been in a relationship with a guy who i truly love for about two years. A few months ago I started falling for my best friend, I told him that and he told me the same thing. My boyfirend and I both love each other but we did/do have a lot of problems. I spent countless nights wondering weather it would be worth ruining everything my boyfriend had built for one of my clostest guy friends. In the end, I decided against it. I found the more time I spent with my best friend, the more he reminded me of all the great things about my boyfriend. Overall, it wouldn't have been worth the risk because friendships are never the same after you decided to date your best friend... trust me I've tried it in an earlier relationship.
I think the best thing you can do in this relationship is keep your "other person" close without leading him or her on. I sat my friend down and told him that I loved my boyfriend so me and him were going to be JUST FRIENDS. if she or he can't understand that, then they aren't that good of a friend anyway. Besides, if anything should happen to you and your hubbie down the road, you'll still have that person as a shoulder to cry on or maybe even more...
Im soo glad I came on cause i thought i was the only one who had this problem.
i am in the realtionship & i love the girl and care for her but i have a ex-girlfreind who i did love at the time but i think i love her too & i have fallen a bit out of love with my current girlfreind due to her changing for some strange reason,she is 17 & i am 15 soo it might be a age thing
but i cant help but thinking bout the other girl! it anoys me all day and night long and makes me sad all the time.
i just want to be happy.
Please can someone give me some advise. I have been with my boyfriend Steve for about 2.5 years. I'm 22 years old. I found my first love Matt when I was 14 years old (young you may think, but he has and always will have a special place in my heart). Matt and I were together for about 15 months and then I broke his heart by breaking up with him because I guess I took him for granted. We have always kept in contact via emails and sms but as the years have gone by our contact has become less and less. I always thought we would get married, I always beleived he was my soul mate. And while Ive had several boyfriends between the time when I broke up with Matt to the time when I found Steve, I have always felt like Matt has owned a piece of my heart. The first few years after I broke up with Matt, I felt like he always felt the same way about me. He waited about 4 years before he found another girlfriend and he was with her for nearly 2 years. She was very jealous and didn't want him talking to me while they were together so we lost contact a little. And I began to doubt that he felt anything for me at all. I have always worried that he has begun to hate me for all the hurt i put him through when i broke up with him and then the hurt of being with other guys after him. I felt he always distanced himself from me because he didn't want to get involved again and get hurt again. But there are times when we have spoken that I have seen a glimpse of the old Matt I knew, 'my' Matt. Anyway Steve and I have a "perfect" relationship to the outside world. Our parents and families get along really well and he is a commited person to our relationship. But he has qualities that put me off, qualities that Matt never had. While our families now beleive we will get married one day, I feel pressured to stay with him because I don't want to hurt those people around me by leaving him. I do love Steve but our relationship is more like a great friendship, I don't know if I'm still "in love" with him. He on the otherhand doesn't feel like this at all, and says he still loves me so much. I don't want to hurt him but if I am to marry him then I don't know if I can live the rest of my life ever wondering what if something happened again between Matt and I now that we are alot older. What if Matt really is my soul mate? Or is it possible to have two soul mates?
I split up with my ex a year ago. Recently my friend (also one of my ex's friends) asked me out and i said yes. the three of us are really good friends, expecially me and my ex. I tell him everything and i can't imagine life without him. I thought i knew where i was with him, very good friends but nothing more, over him. But now every time i look at my current bf I just see me and my ex. It really hurts, and i'm so confused i dnt know what 2 do. I really like my current bf and I dnt want to hurt him, but I still find myself wishing i was with my ex. This is selfish and stupid I know and I feel terrible about the whole thing. Cam someone please give me some advice...
and good luck 2 every1 eles who is experience these kinda problems.
Unfortunately, it's happened to me too. I'm happy with my partner, we dont fight, we love eachother, but i've also fallen for this other person. Life really can suck sometimes, can't it?
Im like all of you really :( sucks...ive been with my gf for nearly 4 months now...she always seems to flirt with guys, kiss them on the cheek and stuff when im around her and especially when im not, and if i ever try and talk about it she just loses it and has a go at me about trusting her, i would love to but recently it seems to just be getting worse.
She says she loves me, and i love her to i think...but im just new to all of this, never had a long term gf before her, and then all of a sudden ive got this other girl saying she likes me and im starting to get the same feeling back towards her.. i just wish i could destroy all the feelings i have and do the right thing ): but it seems like its getting stronger the more i speak to this girl, we're both into the same things, and just seem to get along so well :/ i wish i could make things right, get her out of my life, but i cant...AHHHHH BAD TIMES. please someone help me....getting me out of england would be great :)
Im like all of you really :( sucks...ive been with my gf for nearly 4 months now...she always seems to flirt with guys, kiss them on the cheek and stuff when im around her and especially when im not, and if i ever try and talk about it she just loses it and has a go at me about trusting her, i would love to but recently it seems to just be getting worse.
She says she loves me, and i love her to i think...but im just new to all of this, never had a long term gf before her, and then all of a sudden ive got this other girl saying she likes me and im starting to get the same feeling back towards her.. i just wish i could destroy all the feelings i have and do the right thing ): but it seems like its getting stronger the more i speak to this girl, we're both into the same things, and just seem to get along so well :/ i wish i could make things right, get her out of my life, but i cant...AHHHHH BAD TIMES. please someone help me....getting me out of england would be great :)
Love is very confusing. I dated my ex josh on and off for a year. I really did love him and I know that he really did love me too. We even lost our virginity together. But I was tired of his b.s. and we just didn't work out. So we became really good friends and told each other everything. So about three months later I started dating my current boyfriend Dylan. We fell in love so fast and so deep. We've been dating for six months but he told me to never talk to josh again. Becausedylan of a really jeleous guy and josh would always flirt with me in front of Dylan. But josh graduated and I'm with Dylan but I'm starting to really miss josh. I'm not over him. I feel like part of him will always have my heart and part of me will have his. But I feel like a bad girlfriend because I'm not over josh and I'm dating Dylan. I miss josh and I would hang out with him. But my whole family and Dylan hate him, because we lost it to eachother. I'm not sure what to do about missing josh. I'm just going to stay with Dylan because I really love him and I'm just going to let things go how they're going and if josh and I are suppsed to date then we will. It might take time but I'll wait. And if Dylan and I are supposed to stay together then that's great. So yeah that's what I'm going to to about my situation.
QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years now and have been in a long distance relationship (50 miles apart)for 2 1/2 of those years. I see him maybe one weekend out of the month, so it's been lonely. My bf is a great guy... he's nice, and very kind-hearted; but lately I feel as if he lacks the kind of connection I've been wanting. I am a very passionate person when it comes to philosophy and society, yet my bf is very apathetic about the world. When we first got together, I was just like him... but I have changed over time. So when we see each other it's basically all small talk and I can never unleash the "deeper" side to me because he doesn't comprehend it. My boyfriend isn't an idiot, but I have been wanting a connection where I don't have to hold back on my thoughts and could get input from my significant other. What has really made me realize this, is a boy I recently met who is as passionate about society as I am. I can open up to him and say anything I want without restricting myself to a select vocabulary. On top of that, he has all of the great traits my bf has. I can't say I don't "like him" because I have been finding myself thinking about him alot... but I can't help but think that maybe I am just craving that deep "connection" so much that it is putting a strain on my relationship w/ my boyfriend and the fact I am VERY lonely is adding to it. Is it wrong to like someone based off one trait/connection lacking in my current bf? OR, is it normal and may pass once I am around my bf more? I'm very unsure what to do and would love insight from anonymous folk.
-Thankyou.
I'm so so glad that i'm not the only one who has this situation like this. I am so confused and honesty dont know what to do but to think that i would hurt someone else feelings would make me crushed and sad. I love my boyfriend more than anybody in the world because he knew how to make me happy and knowing that life would be better if we are together forever. I am 18 years old and i never had this situation in my life until another guy came into my life. My current boyfriend is 26 years old and will be turning 27 soon. I may be young for him but i love him no matter how old he is because i felt connection with him when I'm in love with him. Unfortunately another guy came into my life, we flirt all the time, having a great time, enjoying life the way it supposed to be. The next few weeks, he told me he has feelings for me and i was surprised even though i told him that i have feelings for him too but he knew i was in relationship with my boyfriend. My current boyfriend is a soldier and often goes to Iraq and we normally chat online and talking on the phone. When i talk to him on the phone, all i wanted was to kiss him so bad but i knew he wasn't there with me and felt sad. When he came to my house, i was soo excited to see him and so happy that he was safe. Even though he lives in New York and i live in Vermont so its been pretty hard lately but i still have feelings for him. There is another guy i truly had great time for being around him but he lives in Canada. Hes wealthy, businessman, has a big heart,never been married,never had a child,hes very easy to talk to, god i love his smile and his gorgeous face.When i think of him, i felt really happy because he seems me once a while as long hes not busy. My current bf is such a great guy and theres nothing i can change for that. When i think of him, i felt something is missing but if i choose my current bf then i'm already a mother so that's a big step for me. But if i choose the wealthy guy who knows how to make me happy when i'm down then I'll feel like the luckiest girl on earth. So I need your advices and so confused! Its not fun to choose the only man i truly in love with! its soo hard! What should i do???
hey guys and girls, im so glad im not the only one in this situation!
Ive been with my fiance for 6 years now, we are due to be married in 2011. for the past 2 years ive got chatting to a guy over msn messenger and we have grown pretty close, so close that he come to the house to see me when my fiance works away.
I do love my fiance but i just cant help my feelings for this guy, i cant stop thinking about him.
i feel so bad admitting this but we have shared a little kiss, which has made my feelings for him even stronger!
i have no idea how he feels about me as the subject had never came up so this might be one sided!
Im so confused just now... i feel the romance and sparkle has dwindled out of my relationship with my fiance but the thought of being without him scares me!
What should i do?
The reason why we all ended up on this page is because we want to be happy but know we are not fulfilled in our current relationship.
My situation was that I dated this guy when I was 15 for about a year, we were truly in love and he was the one who set the bar for all the other boyfriends I had after him. The truth is that after we broke up I never stoped thinking of him, and always hoped that life would bring us back together. But it didn't. He got married early this year.
All this time I have dated guys who always had something missing, and recently I was dating one that I thought I could be with for the rest of my life, but deep inside I was hoping I could find out if I still had a chance with my ex. Now that he is married, I feel like I should do the same, my only problem is not knowing if I will ever fall in love like I did when I was 15. People say you do, but its been 10 years and it hasnt happened. I want to get married but I want to be inlove when I do, I dont want to settle for anything less than butterflies, and you shouldn't either.
My advice to you all is don't wait, don't hope for life or time to put you and that special person back together. You can find many people whom you can learn to love and care for, but I believe that falling in love only happens once, twice if you are lucky. Don't wait and see, leave the relationship you are in, and go tell that other person how you feel before it is too late.
You have nothing to lose when you compare to everything you could gain. Sometimes is a matter of pride, sometimes courage, but there is nothing more beautiful than being true to your feelings.
I know exactly what you all are talking about... im 18 now, but back in my sophmore year of high school i dated a friend of mine for about 4 months. we figured out after that we were better off friends. but i didnt completely feel that way. i felt like i still wanted him more. we still keep in touch to this day on and off throughout the year and every now and then i still have that little spark that triggers for him. but now im with my current boyfriend of six months. i love him very much even though im not so amazed by all of his quirks. he's very loyal to me and we hardly ever get into arguments or disagreements. but since my college year started, ive been talking to my friend more and more. we hangout every now and then. and i think i found feelings for him again. it almost makes me feel less about my current relationship. i dont know what i should do. i love my boyfriend very very much, but then me and my friend have so much more fun together.
someone help me... please...
Lol Wow i feel like a douche
All of you have been going out for a while
I just started dating my girlfriend a month ago and im already falling for someone else
worst part is i like it and i want her to fall for me too -.-
I'm a 15year old high scho0l student and I'm in the same position as everybody else. I resently started dating one of my best friends, since we liked each other for over 5months before getting the chance to date. But know everything changed, he doesn't make me happy, he's so childish and nothing like he was when we were friends. So I started spending more time with my friends again. My one friend's ex boyfriend, but who'm she still likes, makes me happy, he understands me, he makes me laugh, he's there for me when I need him and he's pretty cute to. We started hanging out more and just yesterday I realised I am falling for him. What should I do? I can't dump my current boyfriend because I l0ve him and I can't give this other guy a chance because my friend is not over him. I'm so confused
It is comforting to know there are many other people out there who feel exactly what I'm feeling. I am not the one to cheat, and that's why I think my situation has consumed me. I haven't been myself lately, not eating and sleeping normally. I have a boyfriend for almost 4 years and I recently been hanging out with a guy and we haven't done anything but talk and get to know each other as friends. He knows I have a boyfriend and after the last time we spoke I found myself thinking about him a lot! I know I like this new guy and the question is why? I feel like I'm being a bad person because I have a bf. He called me two days ago and bascially told me he had feelings for me. I want to know why I am feeling this way about another guy. My boyfriends treats me like a princess and spoils me rotten but I am going to grad school and I am wondering if I need a better intellectual connection. I feel there's no mental simulation and that's what I found in this new boy. He's smart and I feel like I can learn from him and we have deep conversations we feel passionate about. I don't know what to do. I bascially told him I need to think about me and what's going on in my relationship. I don't want to do anything I might regret all because I've developed feelings for this new guy. I guess I feel like I just going with the flow in my relationship, kinda settling until I am absolutely over it. A part of me also doesn't want to give up on my bf because we've been together for so long and we have a long history, I don't know I just feel like I have faith in him. I guess I'm truely lost :(
I'm so glad I found this page like all of you. I feel exactly the same - been in a great relationship for a few years, been attracted to other people before but never done anything about it. Then I meet this girl at work who is a few years older than me, late 20s, and we just get on really well. We've been seeing more of each other at work, and met up the odd time for a chat or whatever outside of work. But then we both feeling something for each other. She knows I have a girlfriend, but we still both feel it.
I don't know what to do. Is it worth risking the years of good relationship just for the potential that we can see in our new relationships? What if the new relationship doesn't work out? I don't want to hurt nobody. Buy I feel sometimes some thing is lacking in my current relationship, something that we did once have.
We've all got some real thinking to do and tough decisions to make. Good luck everyone! X
Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. I'm 25 and I've been with my bf for about 5 years. Unfortunately (or fortunately, should I say?) he moved to a different state a few months ago for a great job offer. I've found myself kind of crushing on one of my friends, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. However! Just because I am attracted to him doesn't really mean anything. I already have a wonderful bf, and I know that our only problem is the distance, which will fix itself as soon as I finished my master's and find some work near him.
I guess my advice for people here is this:
1. Ask yourself- what is good about your current relationship? What would you like to improve? If the pros heavily outweigh the cons, try to work on those issues with your current partner- you've already invested time, energy, and emotion into this person, and it would be unfair to both of you to cut it off (or cheat) because you meet someone you think *might* be better.
2. Ask yourself- what is it that you're attracted to in the other person? Is it their looks? Remember- pretty people are a dime a dozen. You will always run into some handsome guys or gorgeous girls no matter where you go. Is it their personality? If you've lost that connection with your current bf or gf, work on rebuilding it. Spend some time with them when you can talk and connect like you did in the early days of you relationship. Also, remember- your bf or gf should be your BEST friend, but not your only friend. One person cannot fill all of your emotional and intellectual needs. Keep that in mind- it is healthy to spend time with other people as long as you still make time for you partner.
3. Is is all about convenience? It sounds ridiculous, but convenience is probably about 80% of the problem. If you read through these posts, most people here are in long distance relationships. If you're just looking for some booty call, snap out of it! Have more respect for both yourself and your current partner.
4. Is this unique? - Sad but true, when I started crushing on my friend, I stopped and made a list of all of the guys I had crushed on over the last year, and I came up with a over 10 names. I think most of us would come up with similarly long lists if we wrote down all of the people we thought about being with besides our partner. Point is, it's normal to find people attractive, but you're in control of how you react to it, and if you're not acting on/encouraging these feelings, they fade quickly.
5. Last but not least- I personally believe that the idea of "soul mates" is really detrimental to healthy relationships. There's this idea out there that there is one PERFECT person for you, and the truth is that no one is perfect. In high school, my history teacher made a point that has stayed with me. We were covering medieval history, and he pointed out that in those days, most people married another person within a 10 mile radius. The pickings were slim, and yet "they were no less happy in their relationships back then than we are today." People then didn't search for years to try to find a "perfect" man or woman- they simply enjoyed and appreciated the prospects before them. My teacher then went on to say "Look around you. Each of you here could easily have a happy, loving relationship with about a tenth of your peers." The more I think about this, more I think this is true, and the confusion so many people face reflects this. The initial spark of romance is not what builds a relationship- it's the choices you make day after day, year after to year to be committed to that other person, to love and respect and appreciate them.
Wow,this ended up being way longer than I planned for, but in short- unless something is fundamentally wrong with your relationship, it's probably better to try to work things out than jump into yet another relationship.
Great post, and even though some comments are saying you shouldn't fall for your friends, I believe it takes a good/best friend to have a great relationship, since you know he/she will be there for you. And again, just what "It's hard but worth it" said, try fixing the "missing" feelings you and your current gf/bf are missing, but if you HONESTLY KNOW NOT THINK, that you "love" an older friend then your current bf/gf, then do what you got to do.
One thing I remember an old friend telling me is,
"tell me 10 things that you like/love about me", not being in a humor way but in all seriousness, try asking that to your current bf/gf and the your "old" friend, this should only apply to people who say they love there best/old friends, because new persons can make things up and judge for whatever reason to win you over. Just my 2 cents.
I am in this position right now. It sucks ass. I have been with my boyfriend (now fiance) for 4.5 years, we are great together, like best friends, our families get along great, we have the same sense of humour, he loves me more than anything else... although, for the last 6 months I just haven't felt quite the same with him, I don't think I'm 'in love' with him anymore.. I love him, but am not 'in love'.. I just went with it and continued to live my life regardless. But now, for the last month, I have a MASSIVE crush / feel like I am in love with one of 'our' friends. He is older, more mature, I don't know if we would actually be a good couple or not, but the horrible, gut wrenching feeling will not go away. I am continuously thinking, dreaming etc about this person and it's driving me mental. He likes me too, and I have no idea what to do. I love my partner but don't at the same time. I have feelings for someone else but don't think it's the right thing to do. I just wish the feeling would go away but it wont. I don't feel motivated to do anything other than sit down and think, but I can't think of anything useful... Just needed to vent. I'm sure everything with figure itself out in the end. Life is weird.
this choice is never easy do you stay with the person youv been with for a long time who you love but things just arnt the same or do you go with the person who can always put a smile on your face and make you get that fuzzy feeling but they know your taken and may find some one else its a hard choice with lots of strings
Well, I randomly searched for a question on the internet and came across this. I never thought that there would be so many people with this same problem!
I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, and we're crazy-ridiculously happy with each other. But. We share different faiths. I'm Protestant and he's Catholic. I know I can never marry him, but this he doesn't know. I will eventually have to end it before he transfers to another college next summer. I've been trying not to think about about it, but I can't help it.
Here's the difficult part: A friend of mine shares the same faith as me and a strong Godly man. We facebook chat and have been doing that since probably the beginning of the year. I thought nothing of it at first, ya know? It's just facebook. Then somehow he had my number from high school (We shared a club that had a huge roster of member's numbers) and texted me randomly one day. After that, we had a TWO-HOUR text conversation, and I stupidly spilled my issue with boyfriend with him (since he is a Christian and maybe would have advice for me...). Weeks after that, he texts me a lot again, and starts behaving really flirty towards me. I flirt back unconsciously. Later I realize what's going on, and I tell him to back off. He apologizes, and says we'll text less. Fast forward to two weeks later, and he still texts me. I STILL RESPOND.
I really admire this guy because of his strong faith and character. We both share some of the same goals in the long run, and I guess I let myself get carried away. It just shocked me. I didn't think men like him existed. I mean it sucked enough that I fell in love with a man that I can't marry. But now, I think I might have slight feelings for this guy, and my guy isn't aware of that. I told him that the other guy was acting too flirty and that we were texting, and he agreed that we shouldn't as much. But it's just ugh..I don't know.
How is it possible to love someone so much, but yet like someone else? I know I only like him because he shares the same faith as me. That sounds like such a dumb reason. I have something special with my boyfriend, and I don't want to end things this way. I know I will never act on my feelings, but I still don't like feeling this way. I've been trying to psych myself out of it and stop feeling this way, but it's hard to when he texts me so much. =/
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Josie says:
14 months ago
This sounds really selfish but I couldn't stand the sight let alone the thought of my partner with someone else....But I do feel the way the article explains.
I was really happy being with my partner until I met this one guy...He's very attractive, taller than me and he's the nicest guy you will ever meet..
Another thing is that my boyfriend currently is shorter, has a different look and he's very immature..and we've been fighting alot lately...
:(