If you think your spouse is cheating but have not been able to find any solid proof, you should seriously consider hiring an investigator.

In my experience, it was the best thing I ever did. I considered following my husband myself, but looking back, had I been there to see him entering his lover's apartment with a bottle of wine, I'm not sure what I would have done. I probably wouldn't have taken the time to think - I would have simply taken action. In some cases, immediate action is not ideal. In some situations you need a plan. 

Something in me has died because of this experience. Had I seen it with my own eyes, I do believe it would have been like watching a loved one drop dead on the spot. The image haunts you. If your spouse is having an affair, your mind will create more than enough images to haunt you.  

There are many reasons to hire an investigator to follow your spouse if you think they are cheating. Being able to absorb the initial blow in a safe environment is helpful.  

An investigator can find the truth for you. If you think your spouse is cheating, you are likely going through cell phone bills, credit card statements and every little thing you can find to try to piece together the puzzle of their behavior. It works sometimes, but it leaves wiggle room for your spouse upon confrontation.

They lie. If they are having an affair, they have become very good liars. Long term, this fact is one of the most difficult aspects of an affair to overcome. The deception is as shocking as the adulterous sex.

An investigator can provide you with undeniable proof. Although your spouse may still attempt to deny it, you will not be tempted to believe their lies. It may also be legally beneficial to have solid proof should you decide to divorce.

The only downside of hiring an investigator is the cost. In my case, I went out of my way to pay the investigator in a manner that could not be tracked by my husband. If you are going to such lengths to be sure that your spouse is cheating, you need to be certain that they are in the dark about being followed. Any little tip that you are suspicious may cause them to cover their tracks more effectively and make it more difficult for the investigator -and more expensive for you.

Certainly, not all investigators are created equal. Be sure to check them out before handing over your money. Will they be discreet? What can you expect to recieve from them? Most professionals will offer full documentation of their time on the job, photos and details of your spouse's activity, and background checks including detailed information of the person they are with (if they are cheating).

It is a difficult decision to make. It's a difficult time in your life if you are even considering hiring an investigator. Follow your instincts and take care of yourself first.  The emotional stress of thinking your spouse is cheating, but not knowing for sure is almost unbearable. An investigator can help you either put your suspiscions behind you, or give you the facts that will force you to deal with the reality of your marriage. Either way, you will know the truth and be able take that neccessary action.