Holiday Tips for the Interfaith Family

"I love you my brother whoever you are whether you worship in your church, kneel in your temple, or pray in your mosque. You and I are all children of one faith, for the diverse paths of religion are fingers of the loving hand of one Supreme Being, a hand extended to all, offering completeness of spirit to all, eager to receive all." - Kahlil Gibran

Who are interfaith families? Interfaith families are groups of people related by relationship ties - for example, marriage, romantic partnership, adoption, or birth - who share resources (like a home) and whose members follow or have heritage in different faith traditions. By keeping the lines of communication open, showing respect for each person's faith, and being flexible, the holidays can be a harmonious time.

The following are a few tips for a great holiday:

• Make plans as early as possible. Don't get wrapped up in the stress and emotion of last minute plans.

• Patience and flexibility are important.

• Respect each person's faith and heritage. Remember that there are different paths to a fulfilling and meaningful relationship with one's Higher Power.

• Don't make assumptions - Communication is important. Listen to what your partner has to say. Don't assume that you know what the rituals of another's faith are or assume that you know what is important to someone else.

• Find common ground - All religious and cultural holidays have some element of peace, harmony, and reconciliation.

• Make your own decisions - It is commendable that you care about your parents and your families and their wishes; however, it is important that you and your partner decide what is best for the two of you and your own children.

• Work to develop new family traditions - Take time to recognize each person's needs and work out ways to meet them. Be creative. New family traditions can serve to unite the family and provide wonderful childhood memories.

• If there are children involved, help them understand that they can enjoy the holiday that each parent celebrates, for example Christmas and Hanukkah, without betraying either parent or their religious upbringing. This is not a competition - while the parents' needs are important, keep the focus on the children's needs.

Holidays should not become the Super Bowl of Religion - it is not about scoring points or winning and losing. A holiday should be a joyous time that one spends with his or her loved ones. Use this time to unite your family. If you have children, this is an opportunity to teach them the real meaning of love and acceptance. Happy Holidays!

"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal." -The Dalai Lama

References:

• How To Enjoy the Holidays as an Interfaith Couple
• Mixed Blessings: Celebrating The Holidays in an Interfaith Family
• Handling the December Holidays: Ten Tips from InterfaithFamily.com
• Let's Talk About Interfaith Families