I had a normal pregnancy with my first daughter. Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now. I wouldn't have let them induce me. I wouldn't have let them slow down my labor with an epidural, I wouldn't have listened to the Dr. when he said that after 8 hours of labor and dilating to 8cm (which by the way is pretty dang good) that I was having a failure to progress and would have to have a cesarean. I wish I knew that he had a golf game to get to and wanted to make a few extra bucks while saving himself a few hours of time.

I wish I hadn't listened to that same Dr. the second time around when he told me that if I tried to do it naturally that I would without a doubt have a uterine rupture.

So this time around I did my homework. I found out that the chances of Uterine rupture for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) are rare, (usually 0.5-1.5%) and that in most studies, that the tears actually happened in hospital settings as a result of being induced with pitocin.

In Florida, if you want to have a VBAC, you can do it in a hospital setting, at home, or, at a birthing center, ONLY if they are part of a study. So my obvious choice was to do it at home. I was amazed at how many people this freaked out. My mom for one. "WHAT??? HOME????" My husband. " It sounds messy!!!"

I have good reasons for choosing home over the hospital. For one, I can labor naturally, without being "examined" every half hour by a nurse or Dr., in the middle of a contraction. I can get up to go to the bathroom without having to drag an IV, belly monitor, and whatever else contraption they feel that I should be hooked up to. I can wear something comfy, not a stiff gown with my bottom hanging out. I can watch t.v, eat, shower, listen to music, whatever I want to do.

I can welcome my child drug free, and warmly into the world with just my family present, without the baby being cut away, shoved under bright lights, scrubbed, poked with needles, gooped in the eyes with antibiotic gel, and then brought back to me hours later.

Just a few quick facts about these routine practices by the way...They DO literally SCRUB the vernix off of the baby, with an antiseptic soap, which is very harsh on baby...My baby's skin was rubbed red and raw. They give the baby a hepatitis B shot, you know, just in case of sexually transmitted diseases, which of course I tested negative for. Then they put antibiotic gel on the baby that distorts the baby's vision for the first few hours of life, again in case of an infection or sexually transmitted disease, again, that I tested negative for. And for me personally, after a cesarean, I literally did not meet my baby until five hours later.

I guess for me, even though it is unconventional, I can no longer imagine having my baby in a hospital setting. And I realize that I will get a lot of raised eyebrows and people thinking I am crazy for this decision. But my eyes are open now and I can not go back. My mom has come to terms with my decision and although she is my mom and will always worry, she is supportive. And my husband, is STILL a little creeped out about the mess part, but he also wouldn't do anything different. We have have four days left to go until our due date, and I have few expectations about how the birth itself is going to play out, I am just grateful that I have this opportunity, and that I am going to have another beautiful baby to show for it!