Hope after an abusive relationship - you bet there is hope. When someone finally makes the decision to leave it has to be a well thought out process and the woman has to be emotionally strong.

When someone is ready to make a decision, they'll be ready. If you can, try to have a plan. .

Yes, I know some people would say so why not just leave, but you need to understand a woman has to be emotionally strong otherwise she can't handle the aftereffects of her decision. If at all possible, she needs to have some money set aside and a good strong support system.

In some, if not most, situations the spouse left behind becomes a boiling pot that boils over, and in other situations he (yes, I realize some men are physically and emotionally abused but for the sake of this article I will refer to the abuser as a man) becomes a wet noodle that is emotionally distraught because the woman finally had the courage to make a break.

When the abuser is upset and appearing to be traumatized, please remember it is generally not concern for you, the woman, but the fact that you actually had the nerve to leave. Ignore the flowers, the pleas, the begging and the empty promises because it's not legitimate.

The last time I saw my ex-husband I looked at him and was able to see that he hadn't changed but that his behavior was now suppressed just waiting for the opportunity to explode.

It was tough, it was emotional, but it was worth it. I came to realize how many good decent friends were in my life and was immensely grateful for their input and unending support at a very critical time in my life.

This is where it is critical to have some job skills or better yet, get a college degree - you have far more options with an education. There are plenty of grants, scholarships, and student loans to assist with paying for school - again, it's worth it.

Happy ending? You bet! I am a much stronger person and very confident of my abilities. Education is empowering and every female should be self-sufficient - but not in a man-hater way. Learn new things, travel, make new friends, be true to yourself, and don'f think life revolves around having a mate. Being in a realtionship is wonderful, but your life should not revolve around looking for someone. When someone is emotionally healthy they attract emotionally healthy people and that is when KABOOM, you meet someone special.

My daughter was praying that I would find someone to love me and cherish met, someone who accepted me as, well, me. That is when I met my now wonderful current husband. I now realize how wonderful it is to be in a happy equal relationship. However, the key is not to look for someone - get busy and get on with life - you choose - you make the decisions - get help.