I had just started a new job. I was in training out of a town Monday through Friday; I would drive back home Friday night. One random Wednesday a good friend of mine called me and asked if I was home. He knew I was in training out of town, yet I obliged, and told him no. We began conversing and sharing small talk when he told me about his younger brother coming home from the marine corp. He started telling me how he and his brother wanted to go somewhere where they could just hang out and play cards and maybe have a few beers. So instinctively I knew he was going to ask me if he could use my house while I wasn't there. And he did. I gave it a little thought and proceeded to tell him no when a thought crossed my mind that I was no longer a cool friend. So instead of sticking with no I said "you know what? Go ahead." I asked how many people were going and what they were going to do. He answered my questions with ease that gave me confidence in him. He had told me there would be three people at my house and they were going to play poker and drink some beer. I told him where I kept the spare key and told him no crazy parties and please don't break anything. He simply said “you can trust me bro. I promise nothing will happen." So we hung up and I gave it no second thought. The next day after my training was over I texted him to see how things went. He told me everything went well and the house is just as I had left it. I thought "that wasn't so bad. I'm being a good generous friend and my friends were being honest and truly good friends."

Well that Friday I drove home with no worries. I got home and walked through the door and everything looked "just as I left it". I walk to the kitchen and it actually appeared cleaner than I had left it. The floors were sparkling and the counters had been wiped down. I got to the sink, washed my hands and turned to realize there were no hand towels in the kitchen. So went to the bathroom. I opened the door and saw everything "just as I left it" except there wasn't a towel anywhere in the bathroom. I thought nothing of it. I went to use the toilet and looked down to see something black and brownish on the floor next to and on the toilet. I began to think of what this could be. There wasn't much on the floor and it looks like somebody tried to clean it up. So I blew it off and just thought at least they tried to clean it. So I began searching for my long lost towels. I looked all through the house until, as a last resort, I checked the washer. Sure enough every towel I owned was in the washer, still wet. So I called my friend and asked him why all my towels were in the washer; he told me he spilt something on the floor and cleaned it up with towels. I began to imagine what kind of spill took four bath towels and six hand towels to clean up. I blew it off and proceeded to get paper towels and some cleaning spray to clean up what I imagined to be vomit around the toilet. I cleaned around the toilet and turned to stand up when I saw two fist sized holes in my wall. So I immediately called my friend and asked, "What happened at my house?" He told me he didn't know of anything happening to the wall or what was around the toilet. He then got angry and told me I was being a dick about this. So we hung up.

That Sunday before I got on the road to head back to my training I was talking to a some other friends that told me on Wednesday they heard one of their friends got alcohol poisoning and had to call someone’s mom to pick them up. So I began to put this story together in my head. First off there was no way only three people were at my house that Wednesday. Second they probably didn't even touch a deck of cards. And third my friends were lying there asses off. So I gave my friend another shot at telling me the truth. I called him up and asked him, "Dude what went down at my house?" He told me just as before he spilt something and cleaned it with towels; and he had no idea about the holes in the wall. So I said my farewells and ended the conversation.

Weeks had gone by; I was finished with my training and returned to living at my house. So talking to friends I only came across more evidence that a huge party happened at my house and I had no idea about it. So I was shopping at the local grocery store when I ran into my friend’s mother and sister that I had known for many years. She asked me if I had talked to her son and if he had apologized. I told her no. She then told me that she had told him to patch the holes in the wall. I thought about this. It turns out I still have no idea what happened at my house! Oh and it gets better. Everyone knows what happened at the awesome house party at my house except me. It’s amazing! No one is talking about it either. So as it goes don’t let your friends have a party at your house while you are out of town. Not even if you’ve known them half your life. Who knows, you could end up cleaning up vomit and patching holes in your wall without a sense of what went on there. If only walls could talk.