I have never been close to God by someone else's preaching. As a matter of fact, if I based my beliefs on the preaching and actions of others, I would quite probably be an atheist.

My life does not consist of a lot of preaching and etc. My childhood consists of going to Bible Camp one time and going to Bible Sunday School. However there was not much family time spent on this. I think the two afore mentioned advents are mainly the attempts of my mother to get me out of the house.

I am close to God by 1. My life experiences teach me about God 2. The opportunities that I have to learn about God 3. Prayer 4. The miracles I have witnessed. 5. God keeps close to Him 5. I listen, watch and see Him in action.

I picked a nasty time to be born. It is during a dark hour for the USA. The time is WWII. Right smack in the middle of it, 1943.

My father is in the service over seas. I never knew him in my child hood. My memories of him are vague. I remember only the Khaki pants of his uniform. My father does not play a role in my life until I am much better. By role in my life, I mean an actual physical presence.

By the time I am two or three, my mother and I live with an elderly woman and her husband called Annie Mae and I believe Robert Ship. I cannot remember his name so well.

Anna Mae takes me to the Catholic Church. As a child I participate in all the services. I think it is fun and understand what is going on. I can even read some out of the books. How that happened I do not know.

At this time, the Catholics are kind to me.

I sense a presence or guidance with me. For all intents and purposes I am a child alone although my mother is there and I do have a father. They just had trouble being there for me all the time or in a timely fashion.

My mother functions as a single parent. She has to work. My mother is also ill. She has Lou Gehrig's disease commonly known as ALS the acronym for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. My mother spent a life time dying. This woman lasts until I was about thirty. I believe that she is battling ALS since I was at the most in my early teens. My mother life history consists of three marriages. The first is to my father. He is in the service and declared missing in action. The second is to a man named Bruce Walker. Bruce Walker and his family treat me as one of their own. He dies when I am ten. This is hard on my mother and me.

During this time with the Walker family, I get a Bible as a gift. I read it. Cannot say at that age I understand everything in it, though. God is prominent in my life at this time. I go to church with my surrogate family and Marguerite Walker. Marguerite Walker is my mother's sister-in-law by her second marriage.

After my first step father's death, my mother and I am on our own. At one time, when we are in this apartment with just each other, I am alone. My mother is away for some time because she is ill. I find this through two friends of hers who drop by for a visit and give me some money. At the time, I just begin high school. God is with me because I manage on my own. work in the school cafeteria and I get my self to work. I do not actually feel alone, lonely. or afraid. I pray a lot. God is there. How I know that I am at a loss of words.

Later my mother moves to another town. I go to live with her a couple of years later. She marries again. Things are not as good at this time for me. I am at that awkward teenage time. My mother and her new husband have their own problems. They are battling alcoholism. Sometimes my second step father has what is called "dry drunks". That is where the symptoms of drinking are there but the the sufferer is not drinking. Long term alcoholics can sometimes have this. I won't go into everything that happens during this period. I can say this it is not an easy period of life for me. I am expected to act as an adult without instruction. During this period I search for answers and learn to pray. Then the answers come and so does guidance.

From the episode of life with my second step father, I learn what addiction is. I learn how devastating it truly can be. This is good because it is one of the leading problems in today's world. I also learn that I have no way of controlling such a thing but I can release it to God. I also learn that all things pass. Nothing is forever.

During this time, information on how to gain control of one's life comes to me. I gain control over my own life to some extent. Things like psycho-dynamics, positive thinking, praying on target, and more come into the realm of my consciousness. I start reading books like Psycho-Dynamics by Karl Maltz, Treasure Mapping, the Power of Positive Thinking.

Finally I even get to go to college. I graduate, too. Then I start earning my own money and living on my own. With this money, I can support myself and buy myself a car.

During all this time information comes to me through different channels. Information that I can use to help other people.

I find out that God communicates to us in different ways. It is up to us to be receptive. Also if there is any doubt as to His existence it doesn't hurt to ask him to give some indication of his existence. I also learn to ask him to ignite faith in me; to let it grow without limit. I also ask for wisdom. Wisdom to use this faith wisely.

These are some links and books that give a back ground in what I read and experience at this time, the present and the future.

Psychodynamics by Karl Maltz (This book is a one time best seller)

http://www.pnyv.org/index.php?id=470

http://magictreasuremap.com/

http://www.tybro.com/html/effective_prayer.html

Well I must admit. I do not feel separate from God. He has always been a part of my life. A true friend that will be with me forever.

I have lost my husband. He is a dear memory to me. I have the memory of a good marriage. My husband is one of the best things in my life. I asked God to do the choosing. I also asked Him not to let me interfere with His choice. God did well. My husband is a good part of my life. When we marry, I do not realize what I am getting. I have God on my side.

We are joined in trying to rear children who are not ours and who have been through a lot. These kids are now on their own. No boomerang kids are they. They also take care of their families. I cannot expect or hope for more. God saw us all through the rough times. I and others did a lot of praying.

When my husband dies, I do not know what the future holds. I ask God to help me. Doors open. I get to go back to school to get business training. I am able to get a computer. I am also running into things like Hubpages. This gives me an opportunity to supplement my income. I start to earn money by Google Adsense. I also know Java, Visual Basic, HTML, CSS, desktop publishing and can design web pages now. I feel God's presence in my life by how events unfold.

I get social security now. I can also earn as much as I want without penalty. I have several degrees and a computer technician certificate. All of this is on grants.My health is very good. I also have free membership in a health club provided for by Humana. All of this through God's power and my link to Him by positive prayer. I learn I do not have all the answers but God does. All I have to do is let go and let Him do His thing.

As I look back over my life I see that I have no chance in those early years of even surviving. Because of this closeness to God, I not only survive but if I allow it I thrive.

I also learn that i God is speaking in His way to us; we just are not listening or being receptive. I also learn that God has all of eternity to do His will. His will is good. His will is that we exist and experience what there is to experience. I learn to ask him to speak to me.

One way I learned to communicate is by prayer. I just silently within my mind ask for answers to questions I may have or direction I may need.

At one time, my church asks me to be an ordained elder and on the church board. I do not know what to decide. Finally I am in a Borders bookstore. By my inner voice or silently I ask God to let me know if I should accept this position. I ask him to have someone give me a white rose if I should accept this position. Wouldn't you know it! A lady comes over to me with an artificial white rose in her hand. She says to me,"I do not know why but I want you to have this white rose." I accept it but boy am I surprised!

I also learn that it is not that I am so special but that God is there. If we are willing to let Him take over wonderful things happen. Wonderful things! There are stories and help all over the internet about how to be close to God. There are ways to improve your life. A good way to begin is just to ask Him to communicate in a way you understand.