How I Make A Difference
67Who I Am
I don’t come from an abusive home. I don’t have an abusive background. I have never once been physically abused by anyone. I come from a loving family who accepts me for who I am and loves me in spite of it. When my husband’s job moved us from New Mexico to Oklahoma, my parents picked up 60 some odd years of their life and traipsed across 2 states to live near us. My dad is my hero, and he and my husband are the best of friends.
But it could have turned out differently.
The Night I Grew Up
15 years ago, you would have found me in a serious relationship with someone the exact opposite of my husband. Looking back now, I don’t even see what attracted me to Mark other than the fact that he was a ruggedly handsome bull-rider and the rodeo happened to be my interest at the time. (Trust me, I know how shallow that makes me.)
Nonetheless, one night while we were in Albuquerque visiting his brother Brad, Brad’s girlfriend and their 3 kids, he up and decided he was moving there. Right then. In the middle of the night. And he wanted me to come with him. I have no idea where my brain went when it took leave, but nevertheless, it was gone and I said ‘yes’. I had finished college, and it seemed like an adventure.
We drove 4 hours in the middle of the night, loaded up my car with all of our belongings by the dim light of the sunrise and drove 4 hours back. When he said we’d stay in that little bitty apartment with his brother’s family until we found a place of our own, it didn’t dawn on me that he would not have the motivation to be anything but satisfied with seven people living in 700 square feet indefinitely. I, however was not.
But I knew no one there except an ex-girlfriend of my brother’s and a cousin who was heavily into a gang. I figured this was better than that, so I got a job and spent my off-hours babysitting the three children that, until we came along, had raised each other. Being 4, 2 and 6 weeks old, that was just WRONG. So even when I realized things weren’t panning out with Mark, I stayed to make sure those kids were taken care of. I didn’t know there were options for them. I didn’t know about DHS. I was pretty naïve about the whole thing.
It wasn’t unusual for Brad and his girlfriend to go at it every once in awhile. Although it never felt right to me, it seemed to be the norm for them, and I knew I’d led a pretty sheltered life.
The night I'm talking about started out no different. Mark and I were asleep on the couch when they came in yelling at each other and went back out still yelling. This went on for quite sometime. When they finally came back in the last time, I looked up to see he had a gun on her.
He dragged her by the arm into the bedroom and shut and locked the door. Mark, grudgingly it seemed, talked his way into the bedroom and came back out, hiding the gun in the linen closet. It didn’t seem to bother him that they were still beating the tar out of each other. He came back to the couch and went back to sleep as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
Sleep wasn’t coming for me, though. I laid there, my heart pounding through my ears trying to figure out what to do. The kids were apparently so used to it, the noise never even stirred them. When I heard the bedroom door open, then the linen closet, I whispered to Mark what was going on. He just grunted and rolled over. A lot of help he was. He'd apparantly grown numb to this stuff long ago.
The girlfriend came running out, grabbed the three kids and ran outside. Brad followed and came back in dragging her by the hair. The kids weren’t with them. The last thing I saw before running outside was Brad cocking the pistol that was held to the side of her head. I grabbed the kids, but realized my keys, my clothes and everything else were still inside. I wasn’t going back in there, so I picked up the baby carrier, propped it on my arm and grabbed each kid by the hand.
We walked barefooted down that dark street in nothing but t-shirts to the convenience store 3 blocks away where I called the cops. DHS came and got the kids, and my brother‘s ex came and got me. There was no way, not even in hell, that I was going back there. I should have decided that long before. But since I'd gotten myself into this mess, I guess God was going to go ahead and use me to help those precious babies.
The next day, I had my gangster cousin retrieve my keys, my clothes and my car. I found out later that Brad never used the gun (it was actually some kind of really sick turn on), and after they got tired of beating each other, they spent the rest of the night “making up”. It wasn’t until my cousin showed up that they missed the kids. That’s the one and only time my cousin's lifestyle had any redeeming qualities, because it hit the fan when they found out their kids were in State Custody.
The moment I stepped out the door that night and saw those 2 little girls comforting each other and rocking their infant sister, I knew there had to be more that I could do. When I found out later that those babies were sent back to that apartment to live the rest of their childhoods in that mess, I went into action.
What I Do
I am now a CASA for Children volunteer. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate, and my job with them is to represent to the court, a child who has been abused or neglected.
The Juvenile Court Judge grants me a court order to conduct an investigation into every aspect of the child’s life. I interview everyone who has anything to do with him: parents, grandparents, extended family, neighbors, school personnel, medical staff, therapists, the employers of the parents or guardians of the child, anyone who I feel might be able to shed some light on the child’s life.
I analyze the information and make a recommendation to the Judge as to whether it is in the child’s best interest to go back home, stay in foster care, be adopted by another family member or whatever else the state considers in the case. I’m the voice of an abused child.
I do it for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, I love children. They are at the mercy of the adults in their life, and they don’t always get a fair shake. They deserve a voice, and I appreciate the opportunity to provide that for them. Secondly, I can’t think of much worse than abuse to or the neglect of a child, whatever form that may be; verbal, physical, sexual abuse, lack of care, domestic violence, drugs in the home…. This is an avenue by which I can actually make a difference. I don’t have to just sit by and watch. I can physically do something to help. I appreciate the opportunity to do it.
How You Can Make a Difference, Too
If you are interested in becoming a CASA (or GAL in some states), you can click on this link to find a chapter close by. http://www.nationalcasa.org/ You’ll be required to do 18 hours of intense training, and several court-room observations. You work one case at a time until the case is settled and the child is permanantly placed. Volunteers are active in lobbying for child abuse and neglect legislation and host several fundraisers and awareness activities every year. You have the option of writing off mileage for a tax deduction, or being reimbursed for it at a standard rate. But your real payoff is when your child wraps your fingers in their hand, squeezes, looks up into your eyes and smiles because they know you really do care.
Concrete Angel by Martina McBride
The Little Girl by John Michael Montgomery
http://music.aol.com/video/the-little-girl-warner/john-michael-montgomery/1101905
The official video is only available at this site. Right click to open it in another window to listen or to watch.
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Comments
Excellent Hub Proud Mom. Terrifying. But excellent. I'm sorry that I couldn't watch the videos (thanks for the warning). All I can say is... You go girl. You 've got a job to be proud of.
Hey Triplet Mom! Thank you.
Frieda--The first video makes me physically ill, but is a beautiful song with a great message, and the pictures definitely tell a story. The other two videos aren't bad. They are the official music videos of the artists.
Thanks for the compliment. I love what I do!
Wow, Proud Mom, this is a touching story. You are an inspiration for sure to the children you are helping. The story above is a powerful one, and you should be thankful that you had the strength to walk away that night with those children. Your footsteps are surely footsteps to be followed!
I've screwed up way too many times to be someone people should follow, but CASA is a very effective way to really help kids. And that's where my heart is.
Thanks for your comment. It was a little difficult to put that story into words on a page. Bad memories. Embarrassing that I even got myself in that war zone. Shameful that I stayed as long as I did. It's not easy to admit the stupid stuff you've done, you know?
Frieda, I changed the order of the videos and put the graphic one after the comments.
Proud Mom - It may not be easy to tell the story but I think it is a great lesson to others. Also I truly believe that you have made up for all that just in what you are doing. That is awesome!!
Wow, PM....what can one say? It's an incredible thing that you do. I'm a huge believer in things happening for a reason. Do you think you'd have the passion and conviction that you do had it not been for those events 15 years ago? Maybe, maybe not. Sometime, I think we have to live through some things to have the appreciation we need to do or accomplish other things. It seems to work that way for me anyways. Many hugs, keep up the good work!
Always knew you were special :)
Maybe there's a reason for everything - if you hadn't gone there, would you be doing what you do now - making a difference to so many? Mysterious are the ways of God indeed!
You all are right about God using my screwups in a beneficial way. The lessons I learned that night would have been for naught if I hadn't put them to use somehow. But it's still hard to think back about it and know that those kids grew up in that setting despite what I did to try to help them.
Triplet Mom, I guess my feelings of guilt sent me on a mission, huh?
KCC, you're right, I think. I have a better understanding of what these kids are feeling because I've seen just a glimpse myself. Thanks for the hugs!
Shalini--YOU'RE still the angel, you know! :-)
Anyway, thanks again for the comments. Maybe someone will read it and decide to volunteer, which would help even more abuse victims. There are actually times, at least in our county, that a judge or an attorney or even a parent requests a CASA and cannot have one because there just aren't enough of us.
I grew up with a bird's eye view of what spousal abuse looked like so I know what a trial life can be when you feel helpless to make a difference and when the abuse is a child, it is that much worse. I applaud your drive.
Tootles!
Ditto all the above - if you hadn't been young and dumb enough to get yourself into that mess, what would have become of those kids that night? That wasn't an accident, I don't think! The Martina song always makes me cry my eyes out... gotta go get some tissues.
Excellent hub, PM.
Thanks, Nayberry! You must be a very strong person. Abuse is just senseless, isn't it?
Hey Amy! "Young and dumb" pretty much sums it up. :-)
All three of those songs get me, but I have to say hers is the best in my opinion. Maybe I'll put a box of kleenex on this hub, too. :-)
And your volunteer hub has given me some great ideas to take to our planning meeting next month!
You're an amazing woman. Don't let anyone ever make you feel any different.
Aww.....That's high praise, coming from you, GT!
Hi PM - this was very moving. You are one of the very special people in this world. We can all talk - but it is the special ones who act. You turned your life experience to the good.
Thanks for the compliment, lphigenia. I've always been a firm believer in the fact that everything we've experienced in life shapes us. But some things are harder than others......"Heal the wound but leave the scar" I guess.
I just wish the kids didn't have to have them.
Okay Proud Mom. I'm trusting you. Going to watch them now.
Wait a minute! The last one underneath the comments may require a bucket. Maybe you better stick with the first two.......
Yeah, I know, I stuck with the first two. Good ones to put in for this. So sad. Maybe one day I can get to the last one, but I doubt it. I can't stand yelling at my kids let alone knowing all this crap goes on. It's terrifying and sick. This is a really great hub Proud Mom.
Thanks, Frieda. But I'm glad you stuck with two. :-)
Proud Mom, It's never easy showing the parts of ourselves we'd really rather not see ourselves. You are an incredibly strong and loving person, a true angel amongst us! Thanks for showing how you can take the bad life hands us and make it overwhelmingly good. You give us all something to strive for! :)
What an inspiring hub, and life lesson, and example. Bless ya, dear Proud Mom, for the work you do with kids. It must be difficult not to get emotionally involved in some of the cases, though. How strong you must be to cope. The children in your area are very lucky to have you as their advocate. Hugs.
PM, I always knew you were special! God surely put you in Albuquerque to help kids. CASA only works for abused kids IF the father isn't a counselor at CPS. Two little girls endured 15 years of horrible abuse by a monster of a stepmother because good ol' dad used his position and connections to squelch several investigations.
One more thing - call me a wuss, but I can't watch the last video. Just hearing the song on the radio makes me cry buckets.
You are amazing , all of the children are very lucky indeed
I just watched the last video , God those poor poor children. I have a lump in my throat so large that it hurts. God those kids, gotta go
Bravo to you, PM! Giving freely like this, in a way that helps make a difference, is an incredible thing! Muchos besos!
Hi k@ri! I'm still pretty embarrassed to have admitted all of that. But I guess no one is perfect. I had to do something with it, or that scene would have haunted me forever. You're very sweet.
Teresa--I do get emotionally involved--in every one of them. And it's very hard. Everytime I get a new case, I have to go in for a review with my director. I usually sit and cry through the whole meeting. Once I meet the child, I'm hooked everytime. I've worked with a baby taken before his mom even left the hospital after delivering him, teenagers who have come to believe they are in this the world completely alone, and every age in between. No one age is easier than another. I keep in contact with each of them, even after the case is closed. And I have a picture of each of them to remind me. (As if I could ever forget). My strength comes when I face the parent or whatever adult has perpetrated the abuse. The excuses, explanations and denials I hear! They all promise it'll never happen again, IF they admit to it at all. That's when my anger gives me the strength to carry the case through. It's difficult though, because the balancing act there is hard. I have to keep an open mind with everyone until I've gathered all the information. And if I give the adult any hint of how I feel, they'll clam up and I will get nothing! And I've seen them end badly, as well. I don't make the decision what happens to them, I only make a recommendation. The Judge admits (much to the DHS worker's dislike) that the weight of a CASA's opinion is a little heavier because of the in depth knowledge we are able to gather. We work on one case at a time, a DHS worker can have 60 kids at a time. With our court order, we are able to gather more information. DHS's hands are tied by red tape. But they don't always end they way we suggest. And THAT's hard.
Anyway, the kids end up with the blessing when a CASA gets involved. We're not burned out, and we're not getting paid. We're there because we want what's best for them.
Thanks, Teresa. Your words mean alot!
Jama, that's heartbreaking. The system definitely has flaws, and with the economy the way it is, I don't see them getting fixed anytime soon. It's sad to say that there are always children who fall through the cracks. That keeps me awake at night sometimes. I hope that she came out of it okay, and is moving on with her life!
I met my husband not too long after that, and moving back to Albuquerque was kind of hard to do. I'll admit to being ecstatic when we got the opportunity to move here. I know God most certainly would have preferred me not moving into the situation to start with, but He knew what my choice was going to be, so He used it to help someone. Sort of anyway. The kids ended up back in that apt.
Special, huh? I'll take it that you meant that as a compliment. :-))))))
Hawkesdream--Thank you! You're very sweet.
The video at the bottom is......sickening. You hear about child abuse in the news, but this puts faces to it. The blonde-headed baby towards the end with the two very black eyes sends me over the edge everytime. I have to go pick up one of my kids and hold them for a long time after watching that. Even if I have to wake them up to do it.
I'm glad you were able to watch it. It's very powerful.
Hey, Elena! You're going to have to teach me Spanish so I can understand your comments! LOL!
Thank you! But I do it for selfish reasons. Now I'm going to find you around HP so that I can find something to laugh about!
Check your mail ... and BESOS ;-)
I did. And BESOS back at ya'!! Check yours, now!
what a fantastic way to get involved!
I did a little work with child custody and state intervention cases when I was a pupil barrister, and it's horrible work. The test in law here for whether a mother can keep her child is "good enough parenting" which is very depressing.
I hope this hub will make people stop and think. Thanks for sharing ;D
Proud Mom, worthwhile Hub. I didn't want to watch the blond baby video because that baby looks eerily like my own son whom I adopted from early infancy (for reasons I won't go into here, but after having a skull fracture). I've met my share of "the after-effects" in more children than one person should ever meet.
Besides the children I have met myself, my local news has had some sickening cases: Little Dontel Jeffers, 4 (and special needs) who was allegedly beaten to death by a 24-year-old foster mother with the Mentor Program (who puts a special needs child with a 24-year-old young woman without experience?). Haleigh Poutre (11 when she was beaten into a coma and who became the subject of a publicized court case when the state wanted to take her off child support; but the step-father, charged with being involved, had his lawyer fight that because it would turn the case into a homicide case. At 14 Haleigh has brain stem injury but has miraculously survived when doctors said she would not.
This happened after, I believe, 17 reports to Massachusetts DSS were filed; and when the adoptive mother/aunt convinced authorities Haleigh was injuring herself (until being beaten into a coma with a baseball bat made it clear someone else was responsible). The Massachusetts investigation concluded that in the Western part of of the state the doctors and DSS people just weren't as expert in recognizing abuse as those in the Boston area.
I went to a college performance at Westfield State College (Haleigh was from Westfield, and the students put on a performance with a message, to "Alyssa Lies". We, in the audience, knew the reason for this performance.
4-year-old Rebecca Riley: allegedly drugged to death by parents who kept her and her siblings medicated with prescriptions for bi-polar disorder, which as diagnosed by a psychiatrist when Rebecca was 2, even though some doctors say that 2 is just too young to diagnose that.
Between the parents and what they do, and the authorities that so often fail children, there aren't words to describe how sickening it all is.
I applaud you for trying to make a difference. I don't know Haleigh Poutre, but her case haunts me:
PM, you are a true hero. I can't think of a more admirable way to make a difference in the world than to be an advocate for children who can't make a difference for themselves. They truly are at the mercy of adults. I'm honored to know you. This is an excellent hub, and I thank you for sharing! :)
Cris--I do too.
LisaHW--You obviously have a heart of children, yourself. This is sickening, isn't it? You were a blessing to your son for saving him from a lifetime of hell. I suspect by your words that you are or have been a foster home for some of these abused children. More people like you are needed to provide SAFE foster homes while all of this is going through the court system. I've seen plenty of abuse in those homes, too. I really don't know what's worse--the betrayal by a parent or by the safe place they put you. But it's proven that if a child has a CASA, his outcome will be greatly improved.
Thank you for sharing your heart here.
Pam--I don't even know where to start. I love doing what I do. But I wouldn't say I am a hero. These kids that withstand this and keep on going are the heros. I don't know that I'd have the will to make it through a situation like that if the roles were reversed. They're strong people--stronger even than those that abuse them. It takes a coward to beat a child.
Thanks, Pam. Your support is treasured.
Hi Proud Mom,
it's difficult to believe but we can make a difference if we're determined to.
Thanks for sharing.
Determination is a key trait, I guess Benson.
It's good to see you here!
LondonGirl--I'm SO sorry that I missed your comment. Please forgive me. I was not trying to ignore you.
I'm not sure what a pupil barrister is, but it sounds like you had to see alot of stuff no one should have to see.
"Good Enough parenting" is a disgusting term. I struggle with one aspect of the job: If a child is removed from a home for reasons XY, they will be returned to the home based on the same factors. What I mean by that is, let's say a child lives with his parents who make meth in the home. In this case, let's say the state sites this child's exposure to drugs as their reason for pulling him from there. Now, that child never received the proper love, care and support every child deserves in his parent's home. He's moved to a foster home where he is able to get a proper education, participate on a baseball team, have siblings to learn from and grow up with. He's given healthy meals and begins to grow and thrive in a way he has never done before. The foster parents may even be willing to adopt. Meanwhile, mom and dad remove the lab from the home (they can be very portable) and go through the required minimal amount of drug rehab as outlined in their ISP from DHS. They test clean the day of court. Because they fixed what was "wrong" in the eyes of the state, it doesn't matter that he is in a better place in the foster home. The requirements for replacement have to be the same as those used to remove him. I try to keep up with cases like this even after they've been closed. Just for that reason. "Good enough" isn't right. But I can only do so much.
Thanks for the comment. And again, I'm sorry I missed it earlier.
No need to apologise! A pupil barrister is one in the last stages of qualifying, who spends his time following his pupil master / pupil mistress about for 6 months watching his cases, conferences, etc, before doing a second sixth months on his own cases, with supervision.
My pupil master did some family work, which is why I got to hear about it. It's deeply depressing when people spend a day arguing about "good enough" parenting.
If you always lie in bed until midday, ignoring your child's wet nappy and need for breakfast, then lie on the sofa watching TV and smoking 2 packets of cigarettes over the baby, and finally get round to giving the poor little sod some chips for lunch, is that "good enough"?
You mkae me feel so worthless. I knew you were an Angel. Great story Mom. I need some tissues.
Don't ever say you're worthless, CC!! You are a treasure!!
I haven't had time to post any tissues here. Go get one from my other hub. There's plenty over there!
Proud Mom, I've never been a foster parent, but I agree that there is a desperate need for decent, capable, foster parents.
I pretty much feel that I'm the one who has been blessed with my son (as well as his two younger siblings), rather than his being blessed by having me as a his mother. :) Someone else saved him, but I think I've been able to be the one to break one link in that "chain of abuse"; and in some strange way, that feels like "an honor" to be able to do. At the same time, he was just an absolutely delightful, sweet, joy to have as a child - so there was just that plain old "joy to have this child" factor too.
If people could build an "awareness" (of child abuse)) that rivals something like the anti-smoking "awareness" - at least of the problems that come from ignorance might be cut down.
Your episode with Mark is horrifying, and you told it so well that I still have goosebumps running up and down my arms. I think all of us act on poor judgment from time to time; that's how we grow up. But not all of us are willing to talk about our errors in such a way that the experience can be of help to others. Reading your words brought back more than a couple of idiotically mindless, and dangerous, things I did in the past, at an age when I really should have known better. I can almost say that I don't know who that person was.
Yes, PM, you DO make a difference, not only with your CASA work, but by holding up the mirror of self-reflection. Thumbs up in every way.
Terrific Hub and Great Topic! I do love when people really want to help...especially children! Thanks so much for sharing.
LisaHW--I think the awareness is out there. Where I see the biggest problem is the lack of confidence in actually reporting what people suspect. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating someone turning in every parent of a child with a bump on his noggin or a bruise on his leg. But there's a "look", a "demeanor" of an abused child. Combine that with unusual marks, repeated bruises and you're more than likely looking at an abused child. It's estimated that 3/4 of abuse cases go unreported.
I know there are flaws in the system and DHS can be overwhelmed, over worked, burned out and even a few who just don't care. But to me, that's not a reason not to report any true suspicions to them. And then keep an eye out. If it continues and nothing is done, report again. Those kids are depending on it.
I got in trouble at work for reporting one of my students just a few weeks ago. I reported it to the school, just like my boss instructed me, and got this: "Don't worry about it." I was worried. I know the signs of abuse and I knew she had them. So I went to one of my contacts at DHS. Turned out, the report was legit. The girl was being abused. And my boss chewed me out for not doing what I was told. I just stood there and smiled. When he was done, I told him I'd do it again.
Thanks for the comment, Lisa. You and your son are both blessed!
Sally--Thank you. I guess that's a good way to look at it.
What you said about not knowing who that person was. That's so true, isn't it? My life, thank God, is nothing like what it was for so many years. I don't think there's enough courage in the whole world to admit to some of the choices I made through mostly my college years. My life could have turned out so differently. It was definitely headed down the wrong path. And sadly, if it hadn't been for the fear for the kids that night, I would have stayed on that terrifying path. I, too, would have become numb to domestic violence. It was the KIDS that snapped me out of it. What I saw those KIDS go through opened my eyes to how I was raised. What life was supposed to be for me. That at least got me off the path. But what got me on the right one was meeting my husband. He changed my life forever.
Like I said to Lisa, I hope that people will gather the courage to recognize abuse, and then report it. Whenever I watch that Martina McBride video, I just want to shake that teacher. Unfortunately, that happens all too often.
Thanks, Sally. Your words mean alot.
Hi dagny roth! I'm glad you stopped by!
Wow Proud Mum that is one hell of a story. I feel so sorry for the children. That's the thing in a lot of dysfunctional families where there is violence.... The children are the innocent victims and what you did was exactly what I would have done.I also feel for you having to go through that crap, so glad you walked away.Violence or abuse really makes me sick in the stomach...
Thanks, blondepoet. Children are most definitely at the mercy of their parents. I wish all adults would be responsible enough to love and respect the children they created.
I agree Proud Mom it just breaks my heart
Amazing, PM!!!!
Thanks, Anna.
Thank you for writing this. More people need to do what you do.
Thanks StudioN. You're right. I hope alot more people will find out about CASA and decide to volunteer.
What a wonderful telling of such a sad story about those children. It is so good for them you called the police but I can't believe they sent them back! It is so wonderful what you're doing with CASA. I bet it is unbearable sometimes for you but I know you don't give yourself a second thought and are only thinking of what the children are going through.
This is yet another piece of support for my "campaign" for mandatory parental instruction BEFORE having children via a mandatory birth control beginning at childbearing age which will be removed upon background and finacial checks and successful completion of parental classes and ongoing parental counseling via a tollfree helpline as needed.
I believe that people are inherently good and that these parents who are driven to abuse their children do so for two main reasons. The biggest reason being not knowing how to properly care for, understand and provide effective discipline for their children. Emotions get the best of them and they figure they will get the response they want by threatening/causing physical harm to the child. The other being generational abuse in the family.
I am not making any excuses for these abusers. I am looking for a way to understand and combat the problem. We can only do so much with "after-care". After the child has been abused and scarred. I think it should be nipped in the bud by counseling the parents and restricting births to fit parents.
Is this idea against life, liberty and pursuit of happiness? No way. A defensless child can be permenantly scarred for the rest of their lives from abuse in the home. They have rights too and I am very happy to hear that you've taken such an active. volunteer role in this devestating problem.
great hub!
You really did make a difference!
I can understand how some family members would react to abusive relationships as if it was a normal routine they go through everyday. My dad doesn't care what happens to us when mom beats the living daylights out of us. Like you, I knew better now and am in foster care. I'm curious about becoming a CASA. Because I had reported so many abuse going on at our home and no one was willing to pull me out for safety.
That being said, it's like the case of Kelsy Briggs. I hope that those kids will make it out alright! Keep us updated!
maymong, you would probably make a good candidate for such work; not just because of your experience at home, but because you know what it's like to report abuse and have nobody do anything. Very often, people turn their own crummy experiences into something that will let them help other people. Hope your foster home is a kind one.
Thank you for sharing your story, Andromeda10. We definitely need to work together to change what's wrong with the system.
Hello again, Mayhmong!! It's great to see you here!
First, I want to say how sorry I am that you have had to go through such torture. You are the strong one here to live through it and carry on. I really admire you. You did the right thing reporting. I just wish SO BADLY that someone would have listened and at least checked out your accusations. Things like this make me very angry with our system. But I do applaud you for reporting and continuing to report. They would have never been able to have said that they didn't know.
I think it's great that you are curious about the CASA program! It sounds like you would be an excellent candidate. You could always take the classes and see from there. They are very detailed and in depth, but you learn so much. And there is always such a variety of people sitting in the room with you. You form bonds with your classmates because you hear their stories. You know why they are there and you experience things together that are very powerful.
As a CASA, you have the ability to hear about the case before you accept or deny it. We have volunteers who ask for the toughest cases, and we have volunteers who, for various reasons, ask for lighter cases. It's very flexible work. You, of course have to work with the people you are interviewing, and set a schedule for home visits that works for everyone involved, but you aren't tied down to a certain number of hours a week or anything. If you can't make it to a court date, you can meet with your director and fill them in on your case. They will represent you to the judge. And alot of your interviews can be done over the phone. (Employers, medical staff, etc.) You are required to physically see your child at least once every two weeks, but in the beginning, I try to go once a week until I get a comfort level with where the child is placed.
But overall, you have to have a love for children. You have to want what is in their best interest. And it sounds like you do.
If you are here in the states, click on the link I posted at the bottom of the hub and find a chapter near you. You can call and ask for more information and when they are holding their next class.
If you decide to check into it, I'd love to hear what you think!!!
Thank you for stopping by and especially for sharing your story, Mayhmong!
Lisa, isn't it great that mayhmong has not let her childhood experiences dictate her life? She sounds like a very strong person, and as you stated, an excellent candidate for a CASA volunteer!
I fetl tears welling up in me as I read this. I am glad someone advocates for abused children. Very well written hub.
I blogged this also. http://christormuhammad.blogspot.com/
Hi SirDent! It's great to see you! I enjoy reading your hubs, and am very glad you stopped by this one.
Thank you for the compliment. And it was very nice of you to link this to your blog. Maybe someone will stumble on it and become another CASA volunteer!
Awww, That's a very sweet compliment you left there.
I didn't realized that it would take so much investigation to become part of CASA? I went to the site and found one right in my area?! It sounds very exciting to me, but sadly I won't have much time to leave work as much in order to attend court dates and meeting with everyone. My job right now is killing me! I have to work over 60 some hours a week. Meaning over 10 hours a day, and 5 hours on Sunday. Because we are so short on workers, I am trapped working nearly every week with no days off?! I'm really going to have to look for another job. :(
That's perfectly understandable, mayhmong. You must be exhausted!!
Keep it in mind, and if the time comes that you could do it, you'll know it's there.
I'm so glad you took the time to tell your story.
I love hearing stories about things that happen for a reason. Great hub, and great story.
I noticed that I became much more in tune with mistreatment of children once I had my own kids. Things bother me now in a way that they just didn't before - I guess I was just not aware of how vulnerable children actually are.
Good for you, making a difference. Very cool!
Thank you, MotherHubber!
Your avatar tells me your one of those fun moms, and every child deserves one!
I know I haven't been around much--buried in paperwork and research mostly. But, I'm trying hard to catch up everywhere, and I just wanted to say how impressed I am. I've considered CASA here many times, but just haven't ever done it. When our road becomes a little smoothier (firm plan in place), I'll have to start the process.
Hey Lelah!! I've missed you! It's good to hear from you. You would most definitely be a great CASA.
You know if there's anything you need, you can just hollar at me. I hope everything is okay.
I hope I've made a difference. I wonder now. Well goodbye anyway. I'm off to new lands and adventures
Of course you have, CC!! Why are you doubting? And where are you going?
Great hub -thumbs up from a new fan.
Thanks for sharing - It will help may people~
What a great hub powerfully written, you sure have made a difference and judging from the posts above you have also been an inspiration to others.
What a great hub powerfully written, you sure have made a difference and judging from the posts above you have also been an inspiration to others.
What you do is selflessness work it is so great to have a person like you to give these kids a voice!! God bless you and the kids.
Great hub ... it is wonderful that you have taken these experiences and used them to make a difference . You are my hero. I am attempting to do the same thing for domestic abuse victims but haven't made it yet. Good for you
WARNING!! VERY GRAPHIC VIDEO!!!!
Alyssa Lies by Jason Michael Carol
Triplet Mom says:
9 months ago
Wow Proud Mom I am speechless. It is great that you make a difference. I am very moved by this hub!! Thanks for sharing.