First of all I have never considered myself as having a talent for writing so I don't hope to start a writing career by being on Hubpages. I want to tell my story about how I changed my own life & in the process changed my husband's. I hope this will help other people out there who aren't happy with their lives or their brains.

Terrible childhood

I had a very unhappy childhood. Depression runs in both sides of my family. My grandmother lived with us until she died when I was 14. She hated my mother & was constantly verbally abusing her & trying to make me believe she was a bad woman, which was a lie. So did my aunt who lived down the road. We live on a corner on the backside of nowhere. My conception was accidental & my mother & I nearly died during my birth. Therefore, I was an only child. I grew up by myself around adults. I lived in my own private dream world all of the time when I was a child & a teenager. I was ridiculed & made fun of at school because I was "different". I was painfully shy.

My Life Improves

Things improved when my daddy, who was a carpenter, built us a new house in a fairly large town about 18 miles away. I went to work at a shoe factory. I worked for a year & started to a nearby state college to take a secretarial course. I had my first date with a boy at the age of 18 and one half.

Still Depressed at Times & Looking for Balance in My Life

At age 19, I met the man of my dreams. We married three years later. During the early years of our marriage at times I was very happy & excited about the future & our family but at other times I would go back to my depression. I had periods of apathy. I worked part-time off & on but with four kids we never had enough money. I was nervous & impatient with our kids which I deeply regret. I tried Elavil, which my mother took for years, but I couldn't stand the two-week period when I felt awful.

Life Gets Worse

We bought self-help books & tapes, which helped for a short time but the feeling didn't last long. I started wondering if they were written by people who already had good brain chemistry & really were of limited benefit to people like us who had bad brain chemistry. We had a small business & lost everything we had. My husband nearly had a physical & nervous breakdown & retired at 56 from the state job he had held for 34 years. We were knocked down flat after that but we still had teenagers at home. We tried antidepressants. They made my husband functional but I had more side-effects than benefits. I know I was a terrible mother to my children.

We even tried large magnets trying to stimulate neurotransmitters. There was a lady in our town who was happy, outgoing, had a beautiful house & antiques. She was elderly but she could do anything & she accomplished so much. I told my husband that when she died I wish it was possible for God to give me her brain, as she didn't need it any more. I had been trying for years to change mine.

I Totally Gave Up on Life & a Future

Then just before I turned 60 I had early stage breast cancer. I just about totally gave up. I didn't see any point of decorating or doing anything as I felt I didn't have long to live. My life was a mess, my brain & house were cluttered. I tried various antidepressants. The Serotonin Uptake Inhibitors made me feel horrible. I took them for months & felt worse all the time. Welbutrin helped for awhile when the doctors thought I had cancer of the uterus & had a hysterectomy. About a year later Welbutrin started making me feel worse & I left it off. So, you can say that I tried everything.

A Rebirth-Happiness Again At Last, Quantum Mind Power

It was at this point of desperation that I saw the advertisement from Quantum Mind Power about brainwave recordings. We downloaded the free sample "Alpha Flight". I started listening to it with headphones. I started feeling better & my mind seemed to clear up & I could concentrate better. My husband heard it & wanted us to listen every night to help us get to sleep. I read the Quantum Mind Power website several times & printed it off. I showed it to my husband. I didn't want to spend any more money on something that might not work. It did have a money-back guarantee so maybe I could ask for a refund if it didn't do what it said. I finally clicked on the "Order Now" button. I downloaded all of the program plus the bonus recordings. This was the wisest decision I ever made about our mental health. I got two free recordings later.

Our depression lifted. We stopped dwelling on negative things & lived in the present & even the future. We slept much better. Our brains became organized. It was like a rebirth. My husband who was 72 at the time had trouble finding his words & organizing his thoughts. After about three months his conversation was of a much younger man than before We were enjoying life again!!!!

FACTS ABOUT BRAINWAVE ENTRAINMENT - THE MORRY METHOD

1. Morry Zelcovitch is a certified brainwave entrainment specialist who studied for years under David Siever, who is the world's foremost expert in the field of brain entrainment. I have talked to Morry on the phone. He has a nice deep voice & he will help you in any way that he can.

2. Brainwave entrainment means that the brain adapts it's brainwaves to the frequency of the recordings. It takes about seven minutes. I always go into a trance during that time. The act of entraining the brain to the frequency of the recordings forces the brain to grow new neurons & develop new neural pathways in the direction you want them to grow.

3. Eden Energy Brainwave is my favorite as it keeps away depression & negative feelings. If I am busy & miss a few days I can begin to tell the difference.

4. Neural Synergy & Shumann Resonance Meditation are great to listen to as you go to sleep. They help the brain to grow new neurons & neural pathways, no matter what your age..

5. Morry uses Monaural & Isochronic beats instead of Binaural because of his research, they are much more effective.

6. There are two hypnosis recordings & two subliminal recordings for health & wealth.

7. Recently the most powerful recording of all has been released, "The Answer". It seems to stimulate every part of your brain. You write out the question you need an answer & repeat it five times at the start of the recording. After the recording is over or you wake up you read your question again & an answer is likely to come to you. "The Answer" started me on the journey to join Hubpages.

I will write more of these recordings later in future hubs.

What ever your situation is in life you absolutely need to download the free "Alpha Flight" recording. It is an instantly mood enhancer & will have lasting effects. Here is the link to this amazing recording & it is absolutely FREE

Click here & let me know what you think of it.

http://www.quantum-mind-power.com/ezGaffurl.php?offer=marilaws&pid=01

After over a year of listening to the Quantum Mind Power recordings the results have been phenominal. I recently ordered "The Answer" as I had been wanting it for a long time.

Your Instant Life Revolution

However, there were still some habits & patterns of thinking I just couldn't seem to break. I saw an ad for Your Instant Life Revolution.

It is a self-hypnosis program you can use to break any habit or change a pattern of thinking. You stay awake long enough to interact with the hypnotist. The next day you find yourself doing without effort the things that were a chore that you couldn't make yourself do. I have had it a little more than a month.

My first test sounds silly to most people. As I have said I am painfully shy & have had a very low self-esteem. We attend Church on a regular basis. All of my life I would sit on the end of the seat & hold my book to the side & bury my face in it so no one could hear me. After one night of the hypnosis cd, I automatically picked up the songbook & held it up & sang. It doesn't sound like much but it was a major victory for me.

I have since used it to exercise, which I hated, a higher level of self-motivation, & other things I need to change.

I hesitated before I bought it but there was a free trial. I paid $14.95 for the shipping & handling. I could send it back in a month if I didn't think it was worth the price I would pay at the end of the month. I felt I had very little to lose. By the end of the month, there was no way I was going to part with it. I have a long list of habits I need to break & patterns of thinking I need to change.

I know everyone has at least one habit he or she needs to get rid of so you have nothing to lose, just order it & if you don't like it return it. I don't think you will.

For a free trial of Your Instant Life Revolution just click on the link below. All you will be out is the $14.99 shipping & handling. If you aren't satisfied with it & it doesn't do for you what it has for me, then you can return it. The link to this revolutionary new recording is:

Give it a trial & let me know if it worked as well for you as it has for me. I have an idea it will.

http://www.yourinstantliferevolution.com/affiliate/scripts/t.php?a_aid=5d2bdddb&a_bid=425ff2ad

The secret to changing the neural pathways of your brain is to be patient & stay with the programs. It takes time to grow new brain cells (neurons) & grow new neural pathways.

The same for the hypnosis program, Your Instant Revolution. Most people have multiple habits & attitudes they want to change. The program is designed so that you slip once or twice & listen & participate in the program again. Then you have a new attitude or have broken a bad habit. You repeat the listening sessions with everything you want to change about yourself. Then you find yourself being the person you always wanted to be with little or no willpower.

One thing that I couldn't make myself do is exercise. I felt guilty because of it but I hated it. After picking that as what I wanted to change about myself one of the nights I was listening to Your Instant Life Revolution, now I exercise some every day with no will power whatsoever.

I plan to use the program to eliminate my desire for desserts but now I am undergoing dental implants. I wear a temporary partial denture that is more for cosmetic purposes than eating. I can only eat soft food & I sometimes make a meal on a milkshake which is not healthy. That should be resolved withing two months.