When I was a small child I was taught that tears were a sign of "breaking down,"  an embarrassment at all costs to be avoided.  Control of the emotions was considered necessary for your public personality and reputation.  Girls were allowed to cry at times but were privately censored for it.  Boys were definitely criticized severely for crying and encouraged to build a stronger wall of defense to protect themselves.

First of all, the idea of "breaking down" implies loss of all defenses, making yourself vulnerable and losing control of your public personality.  But what is someone "breaking down" to?  Could it there are other aspects of the self needing expression?

Freud taught that the unconscious mind is greater than the conscious mind and therefore receives unacknowledged input.  The unconscious is in the world of dreams where suppressed emotions and desires are found.  In addition, our greater unconscious often picks up on important information our conscious mind is not yet aware of.

Most of us are on a treadmill with our jobs and family responsibilities.  We often do not have time to address unconscious emotions and desires.  This can lead to a buildup of energy that needs to be released one way or the other.  Have you noticed many people are more worried about small things and more irritable since the economic downturn?  This is just a symptom of what lies beneath.  No one wants to witness themselves explode with unrealized unexpressed emotions.  Some people project their problems on others; some withdraw and try to find their authentic self.

Tears release endorphins, the same wonderful chemicals that lift our moods after a good workout at the gym.  It enables a re-centering and re-structuring of self.  All the under surface slights and alienations from others are released. 

Maybe our ideas of emotional health and well-being should include time to get all our feelings out and refresh ourselves.  It is like wiping the slate clean and starting over without all the excess emotional baggage.  Tears are a sign we are human and live in a tough world.

Macho men are decreasing as we integrate the feminine more fully into society.  Macho men feel tremendous responsiblity and an absolute need for control that can cause ulcers, a heightened fight-or-flight response, increased blood pressure and an early demise.

Those that criticize others for crying should realize its a royal road to the heart and a more relaxed and balanced way of seeing yourself and the world.  If you never let yourself go how can you find yourself?  Contact with your real self needs to be part of the cycle of living fully.  If we all grieved together over our secret sorrows we would have a healthier, better world.