Two Types of Stalkers

First of all when it comes to stalkers there are what I consider to be two kinds: the relatively harmless stalker and the deadly stalker thankfully, for me I've only encountered the first type otherwise I'd probably have been taken advantage of and murdered without my suspecting a thing a long time ago. So from this point on I will only be covering how to avoid and handle the friendly kind of stalker.

My Own Stalker

I first met my stalker quite innocently enough through my sister who had without careful thought agreed to be his ballroom dance partner thereby helping him achieve his life long dream of dancing. She should first of course have asked herself why was he asking a near stranger to be his dance partner, but apparently the question didn't cross her mind at least not at first ;however after a day or so of careful consideration she rather cleverly realizing what she'd gotten herself into pawned him off on me who also having a life long dream of learning how to dance played the fool and happily agreed to be his partner.

Dance Lessons and More

The dance lessons started off agreeably enough since I was born to jive and my stalker partner managed to somehow avoid stepping on my toes for the first few weeks; although soon after beginning the lessons my stalker suggested we go out for coffee afterwards and get to know one another better. I went with him since there were no warning bells resounding in my head. Our conversation was pleasant getting to know each other kind of talk and then somehow he found out( I suppose from me) that I lived on practically the same street as him only about twenty doors down and we both had never known it for the entire four years that I'd lived there. At least he said he'd never known where I'd lived though I had reason to doubt later on.

Common Steps Of A Stalker

So the next progressive step that my stalker took was to suggest that we ride together from now on since we lived so close. After that came all the compliments of'' how beautiful I was'' and his phrases of ''how lonely he was with no one to spend time with'' and of course the not so subtle hugs in between our dance numbers. He also wanted us to get together to practice our dancing during the week though we never did seem to practice it was always about sipping tea and learning more about me. Eventually he was involved in every aspect of my life. He accompanied me to youth group and Sunday services sitting right beside me. Creating alarmed looks from the congregation and concerned individuals taking me aside and stating that from where they were sitting my being with a man fifteen years my senior looked scandalous.

Only the Lonely

Around this same time I agreed to go to a staff party with him and this is when I believe the presents started: flowers, stuffed animals and paintings. During this entire time I was constantly recieving calls from him and hearing that he had been talking with my friends and family members about how much he cared for me. Finally a mutual friend of mine and the stalkers cautioned me that my stalker had been bragging to all his buddies about how he had'' a hot date'' once again and that he'd ''scored another point.'' Up until that time I hadn't been overly alarmed believing that my stalker was just lonely and needed a friend. I hadn't realized that being a friend was an all hours job and that he of course would always want more.

You Can't Be Friends With A Stalker

So I finally made it clear to him that we could only ever be friends ;although my being naturally nice this was very difficult for me and he did take the news badly by proceeding to sulk. I was later informed by our mutual friend that I'd broken the man's heart. We did finish up our dance lessons together and then I didn't hear from him for awhile since he was probably still licking his wounds and he falsely believed that I was out of town which was fine by me.

I didn't see him for months until one day I ran into him downtown again and he was once again back in my life full force. Being kind and sympathetic is apparently my down fall or just not having good boundaries and stalkers know how to take over and breach a lack of boundaries. Once again came the gifts a pretty necklace that he knew I had wanted and flowers.Giving me flowers every week became his mission in life. I tried my best to avoid him; that became my plan of attack which was really more of a defensive.

Eluding A Stalker

I experienced two heart racing car chases in my time of knowing him. The once I was driving by myself and I had just turned off of my street when I could see his now dreaded silver car speed up behind me just when I'd thought that I had made my escape, so I took off down another street trying to shake him while on my way to pick up my sister from work. Since it was a small town he was able to easily track me down, but I outsmarted him by heading into the mall from a different entrance. I quickly gathered my younger sister and as I was driving away I could see him high above on a ramp searching frantically for some one or something. The second time I wasn't so fortunate since my Oma or Grandma as you will was driving and she felt sorry for him( I believe) and let him catch us; although she did at least change directions from heading to my family's house to instead going once again to the mall, but as I said I was caught and hand delivered my weekly flowers from him.

Avoiding Doesn't Work With A Stalker, He'll Find You.

You see he'd been having a more difficult time catching and calling me since I had moved to my Oma's apartment (yes to hide away from him) and my Oma and I would never answer the phone. The only remaining problem was that I was still much too predictable I would always visit the rest of my family at the same time every day, so he being the artful stalker that he was would know exactly when to call. I finally decided to stop avoiding him since avoiding a person or situation rarely ever works besides he was spending a small fortune on flowers and I'm not heartless I didn't want him wasting all of his money on me. I told him that ''I don't believe that friends usually give friends flowers all the time'' so to my surprise he did stop bringing me flowers, but I don't think he'll ever stop being my stalker.

From Dance Partner to Stalker

One last warning to the wise taking dance lessons with someone who isn't your significant other has the potential to turn a complete stranger or even someone who was once only a good friend into the most amorous and dedicated of stalkers or at the very least brings out that quality already lurking within.