NOTE: This hub is for all those pets out there that have to put up with their owners. Thought it was time for a little humor-hope you enjoy!)

Okay people lets get a grip on reality here! I mean, come on, what's with this "Alpha" thing? I always thought that four legged critters took rank, when did you two legged critters get in on the action?

My mommy has spent many hours on the Internet reading up on how to train me (as I always sat on her lap to supervise what she was really doing) to be the perfect little pet and do as she tells me to do.

Okay now it's time to check in with reality....First thing, She thinks that because she has done all this reading and research that She should be the Alpha between us....HELLO PEOPLE! I have to walk on four legs, and she has to walk on two, now tell me what's wrong with that picture? I try walking on just two legs, just like you human, and I got knocked down for it! Don't she realized that I was saving her all the trouble of having to keep my back nails nice and trim? Shows you how appreciative she is!! Well I'll just show her...the next time she trims my nails, I'll just let her know what I think about that!

Let me just Once put that electronic device around her neck and let me hit that button! I would just love to see how far She can jump! Sure I'm going to listen, who wouldn't if they were getting shocked!?!? Don't she realize that I have feelings and that really really smarts like the dickens? Yeah, like I said I think I should be able to use it on her once or maybe even twice and let her see how it really feels.

And what's with this feeding garbage? Don't she know that when I'm hungry, I'M REALLY HUNGRY!?!? I don't even get the chance to gulp down my food to my own likings. I have to eat out of her hands, while sitting the whole time!!! That's just not a dog thing to be doing to me!

Now I have to do tricks. Oh P-L-E-A-S-E! I would roll over and die laughing If I could just watch her sit and roll over or play dead. I shouldn't have to give her a high five or shake hands, it should be the other way around. I sure don't see you humans doing any great tricks for treats. When you are hungry, you eat; when I'm hungry, I have to beg (and maybe steal)!

What's up with this "Walking On A Loose Leash? Oh, lets get real people! Aren't I suppose to be walking You, not the other way around? If I have to act proper and prim on a walk, well how am I to check out all those wonderful smells?? Let's face it, if it wasn't for me, you probably wouldn't be out walking in the first place! And if you want to walk prim and proper, well, go without me! The walk is for my pleasure, not yours!

Now, I have a real serious question to ask all of you....How many of you pet owners are Perfect? If you answer that you are; well then, you are reading the wrong hub here!! In other words, you are Not perfect, and therefore We pets are not either!!

Allow us to have our goof ups and let us be allowed to play and act goofy every now and then!! We don't always want to "perform" for you or your friends, we are not clowns in a circus, so don't treat us like one!! Not unless of course you get paid for it, and then well of course we will want our portion of the profit-3/4 of it will do....okay, okay, we'll settle for 1/2 of the profits, sinceyou did have to teach us all those things! But we will want our Share in bones, raw-hides, toys, oh, yeah how about a steak or maybe a pork chop??

I sometimes get really, really and I do mean really upset with my mommy. And I don't always listen when I should

I still "run away"....okay, okay, I got mad and went for my own walk, since she hadn't taken me on one in a while

I steal socks. I don't chew on them, I suck on them!

I want to be the leader in the walk-not her!

I try to steal food. But I usually don't win-she does!

I like to bark. I'm just putting in my two cents worth, what's wrong with that?

Here are what I think should be the 10 Commandments for us Dogs to you humans....

1. Thou shalt not spoil any other dogs, but me!
2. Thou shall let me be the leader of the pack!
3. Thou shall allow me freedom to sniff, and to explore!
4. Thou shalt not name another dog after me!
5. Thou shalt not carry any other pet photos, only those of me!
6. Thou shalt not get mad or yell at me! Remember to always feed me, walk me and forgive me!
7. Thou shall not raise your hand to me, hit me or shock me! You Shall Love me, Hug me, Spoil me!
8. thou shall let me steal your socks-but please no undies!!
9. Thou shall allow me to eat what and when ever I want!
10. Thou shall let me sleep in bed with you!

Well I hope you have enjoyed this hub as much as I have written it!!

Happy Paws to all you little furry pets out there....And just remember, we are not perfect, just like our owners are not perfect....