Break ups happens. It is how you handle it that makes all the different. Right now you may feel that the only way you could feel better is to be back in your ex's arm. Although that is highly possible, you need to deal with your current emotion for now, because getting your ex to come back will not happen overnight.

Depending on how ugly the break up is, your ex may tell you all sort of problems from your side and put you directly responsible for the break up. It is indeed a devastating scenario but before you blame yourself for what happened, take a moment to analyse the break up from your ex's perspective.

For whatever reason, your ex wanted the break up. After much preparation, your ex finally break the news to you, and sure enough, you protest and try to work things out so the two of you don't end up separating. As much as your ex hate to hurt you, getting you to accept the break up may involve telling you that you have issues that needs resolving.

You need to stop feeling bad and quit blaming yourself in order to move on. Perhaps you are not battling the guilt, but rather the anger or shame of being dumped. Well, this would not be the case have you agreed to the break up, taking it as a mutually agreed break up rather than assuming the role of a "dumpee". Being less emotional would also eliminate the chance of a break up turning ugly, making future reconciliation much easier.

However, since you cannot change the past, your best way forward is to get all these negative feelings out of your system. Before you drown yourself in alcohol and end up calling your ex while crying your heart out, do realize that there is a better way. All you need is a pen and paper.

Is there something you want to tell your ex? What do you want to get off your chest? Do not think, just write fast and spontaneously what you come to mind. Do not hesitate to use strong language, and do not hold back your emotions as you go...because your ex will not get to see this letter. That's right. You don't want your ex to know how you feel, you only need to put it down.

Once you are done with your writing, take a break and make yourself comfortable before reading what you've wrote. Now, you can see your break up from a third person's eyes. What would you discover? What did you overlook? Read it over a few times and don't be surprised to find new insights as time goes by.

This method is an excerpt from "The Fast Forward" method used in The Magic Of Making Up, a powerful way to deal with agony of breaking up. Getting over your break up is only the first step to progressively win your ex back. Check out the complete Magic Of Making Up Guide today.