So you are looking for a way on how to cure a hangover fast? I guess this must be one of the most asked questions, especially for the 18-30 age brackets who these days probably suffer quite a lot.

I used to drink a lot, I would start at 2pm, usually with the first horse race, then go the pub (drinking establishment for the non-Brits!), and somehow get home after midnight after about 10 pints of 5% cider! Then wake up in the morning feeling like a few rodents had climbed into my head and were eating my brain, my eyes had exploded, and my mouth felt like I’d been chewing sandpaper, and tasted like my last meal was from out of a toilet.....and then your ass would wake up!!

So now down to business on how to cure a hangover fast. To start with there’s no actual cure. Not yet anyway although science is always working on the problem.

The main causes of a hangover are the chemicals in the actual drink you have, generally the darker it is the worse you will be, and that fact that alcohol makes you pee a lot so you dehydrate. A mixture of these two together is what gives the symptoms of a hangover. Real bad ones involve dizziness, vomiting, pain from bright lights, and a few other nasty things. Your size also matters, the smaller your body is, the higher the concentration of the toxins.

You can do a few things to lessen the effects of the hangover though before you even have your first sip.

- Have something decent to eat with a good mix of potatoes/rice and veg, and a bit of meat.

- Drink half a pint of water, or even a high energy drink, but avoid caffeine.

- I used to always go and get a take-away and put in the fridge for the following day to ensure I had something of good nutritional value, as when you are hung-over you’ll just about manage to cook toast!

- Take a multivitamin supplement.

Now you are ready for your night, but....

- As mentioned earlier be careful what you drink. Stick to vodka, white wine, white rum, etc, and dilute it with fruit juice or lemonade. Stay clear of Guinness and red wine, they are the worst.

- Don’t rush your drinking. It is not clever keeping up with your mates silly games and then waking up at 2am in your own puke! Watch them get stupid.

- If you remember (HA!!!) after every 2 pints gulp down a fruit juice or glass of water. Trust me; this can make a big difference the following day.

A few extra nights out tips:

- Don’t eat the nuts on the counter. People go to the toilet, don’t wash their hands then pick a few nuts passing on their genital germs to what you intend to eat. (Same goes for buffets, get there first!)

- If you don’t smoke, stay away from smokers, otherwise you are just increasing the toxins in your own body.

- On the way home try an avoid eating, it will sit in your stomach and soak up the alcohol making it last longer.

- Remember, vomiting is your body’s natural response to get rid of toxins, so if you do puke, don’t drink afterwards.

Now you are home, what should you do?

- Read the note telling you what to do you left on the front door as you are so piddled you can’t remember!

- Drink at least a pint of water, juice or a power drink and have a good pee.

- Take another multi-vitamin. Never more than one at a time, you can actually overdose on these things.

- DO NOT under any circumstances take any medication, even Aspirin or Paracetamol.

Good morning!

- AARRGGH. Well you’ll still feel like crap even if you followed the above, but you’d be a damn site worse if you didn’t.

- First thing to do is knock down as much water, juice or a power drink as you can, and another multivitamin.

- DO NOT drink coffee, coke, caffeine drinks, etc they will dehydrate you more, and make you worse.

If your stomach is bad, take some ginger and a probiotic.

- Try and sleep some more.

- You can now take 2 Paracetamol or Aspirin. You can now get hangover sachets form the chemist that includes them, and a mixture of other things. Do not take more than advised though as you will be putting more toxins in your liver.

The ultimate cure is not to drink in the first place, but where is the fun in that eh?

Finally, give your body at least 2 days before drinking again, it can take this long to clear all the toxins out even if you feel fine.

So the fastest way of curing a hangover is to prepare before you start. If you do have a really rotten hangover and want to take your mind off it for a few minutes, rub toothpaste on your genitals!!*

*This is not based on any science!