This hub was written in response a question on how to deal with a midlife crisis from a woman's perspective. Since the requester was a man's name I am assuming the question was more about how can a husband, son or significant other help the woman in their life cope with this issue. I have had some experience with a midlife crisis and I have been with other women who have gone through the the same. The following is obviously my opinion and ways I have felt or coped with my situation. As always I invite feedback from others on how they have coped with their situation

Before we can delve right into how to cope with a midlife crisis we have to understand what it is. In my own words it is time when you realize your youth has passed by creating tremendous feelings of self doubt. These feelings can lead to depression or worse. It is important to note the crisis may precede by an even that may make your loved one realize some time has slipped by. Whether it be the death of a parent, or your child leaving for college or a divorce. It is usually some event that will affect day to day living.

How do you recognize a midlife crisis? There are some symptoms  of midlife crisis you can recognize. Maybe the person is wearing younger looking clothes or maybe the person is trying to find something to make thems feel youthful again. A lot of retrospection and reflection goes on here. assessing life's goals and seeing how far one has come. Some of this behavior is normal.. we all reassess ourselves at one time or another. think how we are on our birthdays.. I still think about that children's book I never yet published! Although this behavior is normal we have to look out for the behaviors that are not so good, such as drinking. Another famous trademark of the Midlife Crisis is the acquisition of expensive items. ( ie the old man in the sports car!) It is particularly important that you look for signs of depression. Remember you are the expert on this person you love!

I believe what a woman needs to do most when going through a crisis is gain control of her life. Obviously when crisis occurs there is some external force she can't control causing her great stress. The event could be divorce, a birthday, a child moving out of the home the death of a loved one..or nothing particular at all. Great stress creates great emotion. Double Whammy!

All she can do at this time is create changes in her. This is the point when is would be wise to actually map out your life. There are tons of websites that can tell you how to actually draw a map of your life. This is time to take perspective and see where you have been and where you want your life to go. Encourage her NOT TO BE STRESSED if your life has not been on the track you planned. Count the positives in your life learn from the negatives and move on. Remember Today is the first day of the rest of your life... Enough cliches for ya?

There are areas a woman CAN take control of even if it is to a small detail. Your diet, your finances, your love life or your health. We all have a certain degree of control over these issues. You can educate yourself on the healthy things to eat, you can go for a walk for excercise YOU CAN create a reasonable budget.

Write a mission statement.. what your goals are over the next several days weeks or years. Take time to put pictures in an album or on a website such as facebook or myspace. Organize your memories that you cherish so you can share them with others!

on the upside of crisis.. it can create opportunity for change. Sometimes it takes a life shake up to put us back on the paths we need to be on. A crisis such as this can make us a better person. Don't waste your money on frivolous monetary things that you think will give you fulfillment. No need for that tummy tuck or face lift! You are beautiful from the inside out!

You need to take the concerns of the woman in crisis seriously. Sometimes all it takes to resolve an issue is that she gets her point across. Be sincere and genuine in your communication with her. Give eye contact a reassuring gesture and use paraphrasing to make sure you understand her point of view. ( so you feel extra stressed due to all the responsibilities you have...) Another person's perspective may help her understand more on how she is feeling or give her a solution to her problem.

Even though there may be alot on her mind encourage her to stay busy. Walk, craft, blog or even clean house. Studies say cleaning your home is one of the best ways to beat the blues.

As with any crisis you need to take care of yourself. Take extra time for things you like to do. Take time for that walk or hot bath or read a favorite book.

Yes this is time for taking perspective but don't go into hibernation. You can gain true perspective on your situation by calling a friend or making a plans with a long time friend. Isolating can only make things worse and make you depressed as well. Time with family and friends may take the pressure off that you are feeling.

A woman's perspective of herself during crisis may not be accurate. Most woman tend to be hard on themselves and see themselves in a different light than they really are. Gently remind her about the things that make her special to you

 To sum up be aware of any behavioral changes in your significant other.  You are the expert on this person and you know thte signs.  Do not force them into doing things or it will cause great resentment.  Just lay the options on the table.  Be patient with your lady.   A little understanding will go a long way.