Dealing with difficult people is something we need to do every day of our lives. Unless you live in a cave on top of a mountain that is. It only makes sense that we should learn how to deal with difficult people in a way that is healthy for us and less stressful. If you decide to buy into another person's misery then you are going to be miserable yourself and life is way too short for that.

The best method of dealing with difficult people is to limit the amount of time you spend around them. If you can't control your emotions around very excitable people then the best self defense is to stay away from those people. You do not owe any time to people who are bad for your mental health. The number one goal when dealing with people who are difficult is to protect yourself and your own well being.

I am sure you have heard the old saying "fight fire with fire." Well this may work with a forest fire or the like but it definitely does not work when you are trying to deal with a problem person.

• If someone is angry then your anger is going to do nothing to relieve the situation. Anger does nothing but feed anger. The best way to deflate an angry person is to refuse to buy into their emotions. Instead, talk calmly and evenly about what the problem is. If the other person just wants to yell then wait it out. Remember when someone is angry it has nothing to do with you. Anger is an irrational response to a situation so just let them yell. I guarantee you that staying calm will eventually force the other person to calm down. In fact they will probably feel ridiculous for raising their voice.
• Don't buy into another person's negativity. If you have a friend or relative who complains all the time this can breed negativity in you also. This is where an old saying does ring true. "Misery loves company." People who are miserable inside will always try to find things to complain about and will try to bring everyone else into their misery. If you find there are people you associate with who are always complaining then you really have to decide if being around them is in your best interest. Negativity feeds negativity and if you want positive feelings you will have to limit your exposure to negative people.
• Some people can't wait to find fault with another person. This can be tricky to deal with but if you are around this fault finding a lot it will eventually cause you to lose confidence. There are two ways to deal with this. First is to ignore their comments. My mother always said to "consider the source." This means that people who are always finding fault with others are not willing to do anything about their shortcomings. Do you really care what this kind of person thinks? If you can't ignore it then you will have to confront the problem. When the other person points out a fault of yours look them in the eye and ask, "Why did you bring that up?" This is very powerful and can put a stop to fault finding very fast. These people don't like confrontation which is why they say things about you because "they are only trying to help." After being confronted a few times they realize you are no fun any more and they go off to focus on someone else instead of themselves.
• What if you are wrong about something and it is brought up. Ask yourself does it really matter that much. If you make a mistake most healthy people will realize we all are prone to errors and will let it go. The reason is because it really doesn't matter that much. If you have a person in your life who is always replaying your mistakes then a good way to deal with this is to ask them if it really matters that much. Tell them you learned from the incident and it is time to move on. Do this in a calm, even voice and the other person will lose interest quickly. There is no point in bugging you about something if you refuse to be dramatic.

Dealing with difficult people is a fact of life. The best response is to stay calm and realize the source. If it gets overwhelming then remove these people from your life as best you can and find others who will respect you and focus on their own problems not yours. You do not have to take abuse, either verbal or physical, from anyone no matter what you have been told in the past.

Difficult people are very sad inside.  They are focused on making other people's lives miserable so they will feel better about themselves.  I have found it is much easier to deal with people when I remember that.  This does not mean you should judge them.  Almost every religion has a saying that goes something like, "do not judge another until you have walked a mile in his moccasins."   Judging does nothing for the other person but it can make you bitter and resentful.

If your goal is mental health and feeling good then the best response is to "just let things go in one ear and out the other."  That is another of my mother's saying.  It is amazing how much smarter she is now that I am older.