Successfully flirting with men is more complicated than it may first appear to be. Too much attention can give men the impression that you are not worth their own attention. Playing hard to get can push away men who don't have the self-confidence to pursue a woman who does not give them attention. The successful flirter takes two steps forward and one step back. It is extremely important to incorporate touching of some kind into the flirting process.

Let's work on examples of how to approach men. First, always give them the opportunity to make the first move. Walk towards them in the bar and give them eye contact. Lean nearby or reach across them to pickup a napkin or a drink. If they don't take the bait, ask them a question that invites a longer response. Do not use classic pick up lines like, 'do you come here often?' or 'My name is so-and-so, what's yours?' Instead, ask them a question that throws them off guard and makes you look like an interesting person.

Tell them you have a friend in town and you need to know the best place for sushi or bowling. Ask them if you can guess their profession based only on their work clothes. Or tell them you are really good with names and you can tell from their looks that they are named Tom or whatever you guess. When they ask you for personal information, play coy. Do not let the conversation become a back and forth series of questions and do not rush to agree or acknowledge similarities that are not that coincidental.

If the man you are flirting with is there with other people, allow him to return at some point. He will speak with his guy friends about you and this will give him more confidence to move the flirtation forward. Remember that you cannot control his own abilities, but you can make him comfortable if he needs more confidence or you can make it more of a challenge if he is a natural. And always remember what is most important to put on display: your personality.