Is getting back together after a break up something that the both of you want to do or is it one sided? If you both want it, what can you do for your ex to get her back? This is the place that you need to start. If it is something that the both of you are committed to doing then you very well could see this working out. It will take a commitment from the both of you and a desire to give in and work together to overcome the things that caused the break up or divorce. If, though, it is one sided and you are the only one who is truly interested in getting back together after a break up, then you may be fighting an uphill battle.

What is going to make to getting back together after a break up work or not is total commitment from both of you. Each of you have to be able to concede that you were and are wrong about things. You have to be able to admit that without trying to justify everything. When you try to justify mistakes you made you are essentially making up excuses. Just be able to admit it and move on to correct it. It will likely take both of you working together to overcome your mistakes. It is a partnership that both of you are going to have to be invested in 100% but the commitment level from both of you needs to be totally equal.

It is very easy to think that it is the other person that has to do the work. It is too easy to let one person do the work. If it is just one person who is doing the bulk of the work in this reconciliation effort, it most likely is going to fail. It took two to make the relationship or marriage take place originally. Repairing the relationship is going to take both of you together. You have to struggle together for there to be a life together at all. This is something that you should have known when you first got together and it is something that you have to know for it to work from here on out.

If you are the only one of the two of you who thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it is only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It is sad to say but if it isn’t both of you wanting it and working towards it, it may be a fruitless endeavor. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try, it just means that you will have a monumentally tough time making this work. It is hard enough getting back together after a break up when two of you are working for it. Getting back together after a break up on your own may just take a lot more patience and perseverance.

Again, it will be difficult no matter what. What is going to help with the success of it is making sure that you have a good support system. If you have friends and family who are not only encouraging you but helping you, your chances of success grow as you continue getting back together after a break up.

If there was a substantial cause of the breakup, then this needs to be addressed. For instance, when 'Scott' and 'Rachel' first started going out, he took her to plays and concerts because he knew she was an appreciator of the arts. As they became more settled in their relationship, their dates increasingly revolved around his passion for sports. It was only after Rachel called the relationship off that Scott realized they hadn’t done anything relating to the arts in over six months.

Scott realized that in order to get ex girlfriend back, he had to remind her of the best and positive parts of the relationship that she had been missing.

Scott didn’t bombard Rachel with calls and text messages immediately. He gave her her some space. But within a couple weeks of the break up, he casually mentioned that he had two tickets to the symphony and asked whether she would like to go “just as friends.”

Rachel could hardly resist doing something she loved with a person she still had feelings for. Scott and Rachel went to the concert and then he took her to a romantic restaurant where he bought the best bottle of wine on the menu. Rachel was blown away by the “new” Scott and started hinting that she wouldn’t mind restarting the relationship.

At this point, the ball was in Scott’s court. He now had the upper hand to define how they were going to get back together. Get ex girlfriend back meant getting her on his terms.

He told Rachel that he had enjoyed the evening and he looked forward to more just like it. But he also enjoyed sports and hoped that if they got back together she would be willing to learn more about offside and fouls.

Because she was in a great mood, she agreed. The new terms for going forward with the relationship had been set and everyone was happy.

Remember, Rachel broke up with Scott in a fit of pique. But she didn’t really want to end the relationship. Scott handled everything just right in realizing what was lacking, fixing it, and then proceeding under a new set of rules.

And, that is how Scott went about get ex girlfriend back.

Right now, if you want to get back together with ex, you need to show her that you are exactly the kind of guy she wants to date.

One of the ways to get back together with ex is to demonstrate to her that you are an in demand kind of guy. Every girl says she wants to be unique. They look for “unique” styles. But you will quickly notice that what they really want is a “unique” look that is just like all of their friends’ looks.

So, to become the in-demand guy, you have to start dating in-demand girls. In fact, dating her close friends will actually make her want to get back together with you.

If you are uncomfortable dating people who might continue to be in your life after you get back together with your ex, you can at least flirt with them. When you see your ex with a group of her friends, don’t pay any attention to her. Instead, give some subtle but flirtatious attention to her friends. If she has a particularly plain friend, spend the most time with her. This does require some balance, and has the potential to backfire if things go too far, so keep in mind that the goal here is to create interest in our ex by establishing competition and desirability. 

Another way to gauge her feelings for you is to observe how she reacts to you when other guys are around. When someone puts you down, does she stand up for you? That is a good sign that she is still into you and will welcome you back into her life.

When you want to get back together with ex, you need to realize that there is a new power relationship at play. You no longer belong to each other exclusively. Instead, you are two independent spheres rotating around the other.

Many guys don’t realize that this power shift has occurred. While they are down in the dumps about the break up, they don’t change their behavior pattern toward their ex. This is a big mistake.

When you want to get back together with ex, you will take advantage of the shift in power. You will woo her by changing the things that she doesn’t like about you or the relationship, become the in-demand guy that all girls want to date, and be a little bit unavailable to her. If these things don’t work, she probably has moved on and you won’t have much hope of jump starting anything.