I think the situation at our house is pretty typical to many others. Three kids. All are cranky, but nowhere near being convinced they are EVER in need of sleep. There are tears, arguments, milk cups, hugs, last hugs, and more tears. And, if my wife and are lucky, one last hug. It seems to be a cruel act of nature that kids are easily ramped up at the end of the day, just as Mom and Dad are looking for a little downtime!

Here are a few areas of consideration that may make YOUR family bedtime a bit easier.

Creating a regular, sustainable, bedtime routine has been HUGE for getting our kids under the covers each night. Research shows going through a 30-45 minute set of activities each night mentally prepares a child for sleep, and also creates a daily connection time for parent and child. Many younger children won’t be able to verbalize it, but this time for bath, story, hugs, saying goodnight to the dog, and the like will become a daily highlight for them. Make sure the routine in your home doesn’t include TV, video games or computers. These kinds of activities actually heighten the adrenaline in kids making it harder to fall asleep. Doctors recommend ending all television viewing at least an hour, if not more, before bedtime. When you create your routine make sure you write it down, communicate it to the kids each night, and commit to being consistent. And don’t forget to allow extra time for that last trip to the potty for kids in pull-ups or undies!

This next piece of advice may differ from family to family, but for our kids playing music quietly as they fall asleep has been very helpful. With our oldest son he would scream and scream in his crib until one day he fell asleep quickly while hearing music from the next room. The following evening we tried turning on some classical music on a CD player underneath him and it worked great. Today he is nine-years old, but still enjoys some tunes as he goes to sleep. Our two daughters, ages three and five, are the same. Some researches say listening to music will keep kids from reaching a deep sleep, but I think that depends on the kind of music and volume level. Anyway, it’s a thought!

So getting kids to bed is just half the battle. It’s preferable when they stay in bed, right? Multiple studies, and common parenting sense, tells us we need to be totally consistent when dealing with the child who gets out of bed time and time again. I know this may come across harsh, but I believe that once children reach a certain age falling asleep while crying won’t hurt them. Now this is certainly not the case with a sick child, or one that is in some kind of emotional need. What I am talking about is the typical temper-tantrum. As parents we can’t give in to that kind of behavior, as it will only reinforce a repeat performance the next night. There are probably a hundred ways to deal with the out-of-bed parade, but we’ve found some success with a mixture of discipline and reward type of treatment. While we have never told them this, each of our children can get out of bed once each evening. They are reminded they need to stay in bed, but no punishment is inflicted. We have found this allows the child to let us know if they are feeling sick, etc, without fearing discipline. After that time though there is a swat on the buns for each trip (potty trips are OK, of course) from the bed. Our oldest hasn’t had a problem with this in years, so it must work. In the morning we praise and celebrate the child if they spent the entire night in bed.

You may also want to consider buying a bed your kids may WANT to sleep in.  There are many cute loft beds for kids which are centered around different kid-friend themes.

It is important to keep in mind every child is different, and a one size fits all parenting skill in this area isn’t ideal. The keys, we feel, to winning the “bedtime battle” is a combination of preparation, consistency and flexibility. The first few weeks of instituting a change like this may be tough, but in the end, it is worth it.