How To Get My Ex Back

So you've just had a break up. Want some good news? It's not over. But how do you get your ex to want you back? Want some more good news? There are some clearly defined steps you can take which can hugely increase your chances of getting your ex back.

At the end of this hub, you'll be asked one simple question, and then you're going to find out exactly what you need to do to get your ex back. Keep Reading...

How to get your ex to fall back in love with you is often one of the first lucid questions that will spring to mind after a break up, especially when it was an unexpected or unwanted break up. It usually comes right after you work your way through the feelings of shock, surprise, hurt, anger, or a combination of all of the above. Moreover, it's a perfectly natural response.

It's often tempting to look to friends to advise on how to get your ex girfriend back, or boyfriend back, depending on your circumstances. No doubt your friends will have advice to offer. Make the most of their support, it helps! But...

There Is An Easy Answer!

Can you and your ex get back together? What are the steps we need to take? For starters, if we're looking for the fastest way to get back your ex, the first thing we need is a little objectivity...

Right...we want to know how to get back ex girlfriend and boyfriends. To start with, we are going to do something which is going to feel completely counter intuitive. If you have only just separated with your partner, one of the first things you will instinctively want to do is to get in contact with them. Don't!

Something has happened which resulted in your ex making the decision to bring the relationship to an end. This thing may or may not be you! For the time being, we want to avoid exacerbating the situation by plaguing our ex with please of 'take me back'. Instead, we're going to first focus on the one thing we can immediately do something positive about. Our own head-space!

It's really important not to underestimate this step.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking...

'Screw all this mumbo jumbo about my head space...I want to get my ex back now! Show me how to do that and the rest will fall into place.'

Am I right?

Actually, rushing headlong into an attempt to reunify with our ex before we've attained a little emotional perspective of our own is probably one of the worst things we could do. In fact, doing just that may irreperably damage our chances altogether. Don't worry though, later we're going to look some dynamite techniques to take to get your ex back, so for the moment, let's just stay focused on you.

It's totally natural to freak out a little when an unwanted or unexpected break up occurs. In fact, if we weren't freaking out a little bit we would probably lack the motivation necessary to turn things around. But if we are going to make any significant approaches towards winning back the ex, it needs to be done with some forethough. To do that, we first need to be in control of our own emotions.

How so, you ask? Well, once we have gained some perspective (ie. thrown some stuff, cried a bit, downed a couple of bottles of good wine and had a decent sleep), we can take the time to start feeling ok about ourselves. Only then we can realistically approach the ex with a view to them taking us back, from a position of strength rather than weakness. When a relationship ends suddenly, there is a tendency to quickly make the assumption that we did something wrong, and begin to call ourselves into question, and at times devalue our own self worth.

If you are in a situation where you can acknowledge that there may have been mistakes made on both sides that lead to the breakdown, but can't pinpoint just yet exactly what went wrong, that's ok. Take a deep breath, and understand that sometimes people's actions don't always make sense. What we need to do is to find a way around the problem.

On the other hand, if we believe we might have been the cause of the break up (and lets face it, sometimes we will be), there is little constructive merit in berating ourselves about it. However, what we do need to do is take responsibility for our actions. The time has come to acknowledge the hurt our misdeeds has created and look towards making positive steps to making amends. Blame avoidance and self pity are indulgences we can little afford if we are going to get back the ex.

Once we've taken some constructive steps to assess and address our own emotional state, we can then begin to take a more objective look at where the relationship went wrong. This serves a dual purpose:-

• the first being to ensure that if we are successful in getting the ex back, the relationship will succeed and be better off second time around; and
• the second is to ensure that the problem which caused the break up in the first place is actually something we can fix. At times this second step requires some brutal self honesty.

Without being overly critical to the point of self abuse, can we genuinely admit we made mistakes in the relationship? Did we contribute in some way to the break up? Perhaps we inattentive, or took our partner for granted. Were we too moody too often for our own reasons? Perhaps we spent too much time with our own friends, whilst failing to get along with our partners? Were we over critical, not communicate enough, or be affraid of making a commitment? Did we react with anger when we felt our partner didn't understand our point of view? Or was our behavior more extreme...did we cheat on our partner, or do something which they rightfully view as being unforgivbale?

Even if none of the above specifically apply to us, if there was some mistake we made, we need to acknowledge it, and we need to do so without also trying to justify it to ourselves. You know what I mean...I was inattentive (but only because I was tired from working all the time)...I didn't get along with her friends (but we are just way too different)...I didn't communicate enough (I just can't understand what they expect of me). Now we have the opportunity to make an important distinction...does our relationship with our ex mean enough to us to work on making the changes we need to in order to get them back and keep them?

If not, we have to ask ourselves whether we really ought to put our ex (and ourselves) through more heartache by trying to win them back into a relationship which might never work. Similarly, if making those changes has the potential to make us miserable in the process, we need to give some very careful consideration to whether the reasons we are trying to get back with the ex are good ones.

Assuming that they are, what if we think the problem might not lie with us, but with our ex? What if our ex is struggled to communicate, or has a commitment phobia, or just doesn't understand the potential we have for an increadible relationship?

Either way, if we are going to get them back, we need to look at grabbing their attention to re-engage with them meaningfully. This can often be the trickest part of getting back an ex.

Does your ex still have feelings for you? How do we know? There's a big difference between an ex who still has us on our mind when they fall asleep, and the ex who couldn't be happier to be rid of us. Here's 5 tips to help you read the signs on whether your ex might want you back:

1. Do you still have contact with your ex's friends? This is a perfect opportunity to get some all important insight on how your ex is feeling. Whilst it's tempting to brush this option aside for fear of it getting back to your ex, the reality is if your ex still has feelings for you then his or her friends just might be more willing than you expect to help you get back together.

It's also a subtle way to have it get back to your ex that you still have feelings for them.

2. Ok, going out every night and sleeping all day might not have worked for Sinead O'Connor, but it probably won't kill you to have a little fun! Get your best posse of closest friends and rip up the dance floor. Guaging your ex's response to a happy, laid back you will be an excellent indication of any lingering emotions.

3. Remember that watch she gave you that you swore you would never take off. How about that necklace he bought that you've still got hanging around your neck. Memorabilia can be a great indicator of how your ex really feels about you. If they continue to keep those little trinkets laden with meaning, this is a positive sign.

4. What if your the one being approached by your ex's friends about how you feel?? This is an excellent indication that they still care. Don't overlook this by assuming your ex's friends just want to maintain contact with you. If you aren't sure, ask them!

5. Ever heard of the 'drunken dial?' If your ex is prone to calling you whilst out with their friends, at a party...or even during the day...this is an excellent indication that there are feelings there waiting to be rekindled.

The first real contact after breaking up can be an extremely important one in the context of trying to win back an ex. However, it's frequently difficult to initiate such contact without triggering another round of rejection, especially if there are lingering feelings of hurt or anger. More importantly, just one mistake can damage any chance you have of getting your ex back, and to that extent initiating contact can be a scary prospect.

So how do we initiate contact? Often the easiest option is a telephone call. But whatever you do, avoid the desperation call or 'text message'. What we really want to do is grab the attention of our ex in a manner that positively influences the way they feel about us? We also want to achieve this without 'stalking' or pressuring our ex.

Instead of pleading with our ex to take us back, or to see us one last time to 'talk things over', let's try to intrigue them. Two of the things we as humans are unable to resist are curiosity, and self interest. Try combining the two in this approach for example... Leave your ex a message saying that something happened today which reminded you of how great they are, and how much you appreciate them. Ask them to call you, because you wanted to thank them in person.

This little technique achieves two things. Firstly, it triggers their curiosity because they will be wondering what the thing was, and secondly, your flattering message will spark their self interest. Think you can't do it? You should try...it works! This little method can be the difference between an ex who is avoiding you, and an ex who actually wants to speak to you. It's just one of the ways you can take the pressure off, and give your ex the chance to realise just how good you are together without feeling like they are being forced into a decision.

Whether you use the above technique or some other way of initiating contact, it is imperative to have a clear strategy on how you intent to use the contact to move things to the next stage. Doing so without a clear plan of action can in fact cause more damage than good. Imagine how aweful you'll feel when your ex rings back and you blow that all important conversation because you had no idea what to say or do! Our actions need to be designed to convince our ex to want us again in a way that can engender a long lasting relationship.

There are two things that can help us:

- a bit of creativity

- a plan!

In fact, relationships experts advocate that one of the most important elements in winning back a lost love is to ensure you have a clear plan of action.

Knowing little tips like the example above, and combining them into a clear strategy to win back your ex can make all the difference. It makes certain you aren't doing all the things that can kill any chance you have of getting back your ex for ever. Moreover, it proves a feeling of empowerment instead of helplessness, enabling you to take back control of your life, and your love.

So what's our logical next step?

Want to check out an ebook by a friend of mine, T.W. Jackson? Here is the link to his book The Magic Of Making Up.

It's one of the best books on how to get your ex back. It provides you with precisely the types of strategies you need to have in place to make this technique, and many like it, work completely to your advantage. He's a good guy, and devotes huge amounts of his time to helping people make up, instead of break up. He knows 'people' better than most people know themselves.

The book isn't just about getting winning strategies and practical guidance on how to deal with circumstances which arise whilst getting back your ex. What I really came to appreciate from reading the book was the intricacies of relationship chemistry. Jackson's friendly, almost conversational instruction provides some great insight on the psychology of love, importance of communication, and methods for using body language to your advantage.

Now, there are a lot of self help and relationship books out there. You can walk into a book store and there are literally shelves of material to select from. Reading a book is fine, and if that's the route you ultimately take, I wish you the very best of luck. The Magic Of Making Up is a little different for a couple of reasons. Firstly, as I said, I know the author and compiler and I know how much he busted his rear putting together what a select group of relationships experts intent to be a comprehensive strategy to getting your ex back. The second is that it goes further than a book in that you get to become part of an online community who are striving to achieve the same goal, getting their love life back on track. You'll find support through the program that you just won't get with a paperback.

FACT

The Magic Of Making Up has helped more than 5200 people in 67 different countries accross the globe successfully get their ex back.

Not too shabby eh!

What Does The Magic Of Making Up Show You?

Here's just a small sample...

• Does Your Ex Still Have Feelings For You? Discover the tell tale clues your ex will unknowingly provide that will reveal BEYOND A DOUBT that they still have feelings for you.
• Why Men Leave. You're probably thinking it has everything to do with beauty, sex, status, or the younger woman. WRONG! Men seek out one primary thing above all else. Give it to them and they are yours FOR LIFE.
• What Women Want. It's not just the title to a movie. Unless you can figure out what it is and deliver the goods, you're guaranteed your girl will find it elsewhere. Become a master of this technique and she won't even think of looking at another man.
• Where's Your Head At? A breakdown can result in major emotional turmoil, so you'll be needing this rapid action plan to sooth your frazzled nerves and get you thinking clearly in just moments.
• Rekindling The Flame. Concerned you won't be able to connect with your ex again? Discover these undetectable and dynamic method to reconnect with your ex (or anyone else, for that matter). 99% of people are completely unable to resist it, and it's derived from the same psychological phenomena responsible for the bond seen between kidnappers and their victims. Find out how to use this powerful ability for good instead of evil!

  And much more...

Jackson's site has a couple of really helpful video's you can check right now.

As I said, if you're intent on making a bid to win your ex back, be sure to do it right the first time. Most importantly, have a plan!

The Question: At the start of this hub I said I'd ask you a question, and your answer will determine whether today is the day you start making a bid to get your ex back.

The question is simply this:- do you want your ex back...or don't you?

If you answered 'yes' then there is unequivocally no reason why you can't make that happen. This hub has hopefully provided some food for thought, and a starting point, and you've now been directed to the single most successful resource online for repairing broken relationships.

You're not out of time, but you are out of excuses. If you want your ex back, you know how to make it happen.

Click Here To Get Your Ex Back

Breaking up sucks right? I mean it just plain stinks. Most if not all of us have been there. It's a painful and often lengthy path to recovery from the breakdown of a relationship.

Breaking up when you really really really don't want to is just the pits though. If you want your ex and you to be back together and happy again, we want to help. The Magic Of Making Up can do just that, but what about making absolutely certain that once you DO get your ex back you stay together?

If you decide to grab a copy of the Magic Of Making Up using the link on this page, I'll throw a couple of extra items into the package to really help you cement your relationship (you'll be emailed the special download link).

The first is Romantic Ideas For Couples, a great little book that retails at $17.00 and is jam packed full of ideas you can use to add romance to your relationship from day to day, and for special occasions.

The second is Healthy Dating Relationships Tips, which has expert tips on adding dependability and enthusiasm to your relationship, and can help avoid issues of burn-out and compatability concerns. Normally valued at over $10, it's yours free as part of the special package.

Now go get your ex back!