Are you torturing yourself with the question "how to get my ex girlfriend back" over and over again? Are you feeling lost, lonely and desperate? Well, don't give up! Depending on your situation, it may be possible to win her back with the right approach and the right mind set. This article will give you guys a few tips that may help you mend that relationship and get your girlfriend back into your life.

First and foremost, before we dive into any tips on how to get your ex back, ask yourself the following question...Do I really want her back or is it just the fact that I am lonely and either the rejection or break up has made me feel less than? You have to be totally honest with yourself. Rejection breeds obsession. Let me repeat that one more time so you get it... Rejection breeds obsession! If you have been rejected or someone has left you, your mind has a crazy way of making that mean lot's of things. If you make it mean that you weren't good enough then you will actively pursue validation by chasing her desperately. Don't do that!

You may be chasing her, trying to get her back just to appease your sense of ego. If this is the case be totally honest with yourself. Getting her back will be a short term fix which will reveal greater issues in terms of your self esteem or your relationship. Take a moment to check yourself and make sure you understand exactly why you broke up in the first place. If, after this first step of self examination, you still want to be with her then make sure you know what it was that you enjoyed in the relationship as well as why it fell apart. This will make sure it doesn't happen in the future.

The other question to ask is if she still has feelings for you. If you think the answer is yes (and you're not deluding yourself) then the situation can be corrected.

Okay so here are some tips on how to get your ex back.

The first and foremost important strategy for how to get your ex girlfriend back is this simple question: "Who do I have to be in order to be her boyfriend or partner?" The answers to these questions will usually lead to the action steps you need to take. In other words, if you answered by saying you need to be more fit, funny, a better dresser, more romantic, more manly, etc then you need to develop these characteristics in yourself. Past arguments or conversations will give you some clues as to her expectations for your behavior. Plot a course to become a better person, to grow and in doing so, you will become more self-confident and more attractive.

Also, take a look at what attracted her to you in the first place. Is anything missing these days that you used to do?

Stop the following behaviors immediately or you will destroy any chance you have of ever getting back with her: Don't call her repeatedly, leaving messages or hounding her like a stalker. This is a huge turn off for women since they have a sixth sense for desperation. If there is animosity or you really screwed things up (like cheating, etc) she will sense your desperation and use it to your disadvantage.

If you are still on speaking terms then make sure that every interaction with her is positive. Do not bring up the past arguments or negative emotions. Listen to her if she is venting or upset and do your best to guide the conversation to fun memories or better times that you've had together.

The other thing that can help is to introduce some variety into the interactions. Women of all ages love flirting and it can be a great tool to re-spark your relationship. If conversation does go to negative territory, don't get sucked in. Stay positive, fun, stay mysterious, confident and happy even if you are not feeling that way inside (fake it till you make it).

Most importantly, don't get attached to the outcome of any interaction. The more attached you are, the more desperate you will come off and it will harm your chances of getting back with your ex. Hope this answers the question of "how to get my ex girlfriend back" for you guys.

For more step-by-step instructions I recommend this program: The Magic of Making Up. Out of all the ones I've seen this actually delivers the goods. I've recommended it to a few of friends who have had good success with the program.