When you hear yet another guru saying "everything you have in your life is your own creation," do you roll your eyes?

It can be easy to think "what would you know, dork? I didn't choose to be abused/abandoned/assaulted, and I don't want to be broke/depressed/sick, and what's more when I die I won't be making that happen, either!"

It can feel like being kicked when you're down, if you are struggling with things in your life that you really don't want, and some head-in-the-clouds mystic tries to say that you are the one to blame.

That's not what they are actually saying. Well, not the genuine ones, anyway. It's not about blame and fault.

There is a very fine line between choosing an attitude of "I am at cause" versus taking on the defeatist belief "It's all my fault". And it's a line not well drawn by most people.

It is important to understand how cause and effect work in the realm of perception, intention, and manifesting, so that you can escape from resentment or self-blame, and move into a position of strength.

There are several sets of words which have been used to describe this phenomenon. Napoleon Hill talks about it in terms of vibrations, transmitters and receivers.

In Think and Grow Rich, he says ... the ether in which this little earth floats, in which we move and have our being, is a form of energy moving at an inconceivably high rate of vibration, and that the ether is filled with a form of universal power which ADAPTS itself to the nature of the thoughts we hold in our minds, and INFLUENCES us, in natural ways, to transmute our thoughts into their physical equivalent.

Jose Silva expresses it in terms of scientific measures of brain wave frequency, and the matching experiences that people report. In The Silva Mind Control Method For Getting Help From Your Other Side, he says:

People who do their thinking, analyse their problems, seek help fom the other side while at the alpha level are centered. Their awareness is connected to Higher Intelligence. When they get an answer, even if it feels like guessing, they are right more times than they are wrong. You might say they are divinely inspired, or, if you prefer, they are instinctive or intuitive. These are people who are helping with creation instead of working against it. They have become partners with God, you might say, because they are helping God, and God is helping them. They are getting help from the other side by being at alpha level. It's that simple.

The Law of Attraction discussed in The Secret boils down to the ancient wisdom - like attracts like. As a man thinketh, so is he. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.

In The Miracle Of Right Thought, Orison Swett Marden says:

There is a law of perpetual renewal, a re-creation constantly going on in us which is only interfered with by our adverse thought and discordant mental attitude.

The great power which constantly creates and re-creates everything in the Universe, including our very selves, is inclined toward peace, harmony, growth, abundance and joy, but it will graciously defer to our preferences, and flow into any shape we hold in our minds and fill with strong emotion, however dark, painful and twisted that shape may be.

It is important to remember that while your thoughts shape you and the world around you, it may not be obvious to you exactly what those thoughts are.

Only a small fraction of our thoughts are conscious.

Only a small fraction of our thoughts take place in words.

Some of the strongest thoughts we hold, the ones bulging with our deepest, strongest emotional loadings, were formed when were too young to have language at all.

To truly have control of the things we manifest in our lives, we need to find ways to access the subconscious thoughts. We need to make them conscious, or release the negative emotions from around them, or in the language of NLP, change our programs.

There is no point in reciting positive affirmations in the mirror every morning with your conscious mind, if your subconscious expectation is that you will never be able to get your needs met. The subconscious is vastly more powerful than the conscious, and the only way to accomplish anything worthwhile in life (without destroying your health, relationships, or bank balance) is to get your conscious and subconscious minds working in harmony.

That's easy to say, of course, but not so easy to do!

The first problem we face is how to see something that is, by its nature, not in plain view.

We are wired to see the world in a consistent way. Scientific studies, replicated many times, have shown that when people find evidence that contradicts a strongly-held belief, they will usually hold on to the the belief and reject the evidence. This phenomenon is so predictable that they have been able to do studies to determine the influence of factors such as whether someone also sees the conflicting evidence, and whether that person agrees with their prior belief or argues against it, and whether that person then changes their mind.

So, think about your dilemma. Let's suppose you have a strongly-held subconscious belief. It might be something like "people always let me down". The way your brain works, it will be almost impossible for you to see the army of people who are supporting you. At best, they probably exist for you as the people who haven't let you down - yet. That you know of.

Any time there is evidence that people are there for you, and you are forced to be consciously aware of it, there will instantly be a really good reason why this is not what it seems. "She's just being nice", "he had nothing better to do"," they feel obligated because I lent them my car that time", "oh, that's just what family does, they wouldn't do it if they didn't have to", and so on.

Can you start to see how difficult it is to ever break out of that nice, self-sustaining, internally consistent fantasy world?

Or, in this case, not-so-nice, self-sustaining, internally consistent fantasy world.

The only way you can dismantle the false reality is from the outside, but you're in there, busily defending it against any conflicting evidence.

But there is one sneaky way that you can beat the self-defeating trap at its own game.

This is the magic power of journalling, psychoanalysis, stream-of-consciousness speaking, and other self-discovery techniques.

When you start to say things as they seem, without editing to make it sound better, you are taking your conscious mind out of the picture.

Get into your feelings, and really go to town. Use all the words you're not allowed to use normally. Follow up on the things which make you indignant, or despairing. Be irrational, unfair, and childish.

Then re-read what you wrote, or listen to a recording of what you said. You'll often find the most unexpected beliefs lurking just under the surface.

We've all seen someone spend ten, twenty, thirty years hunting for a partner, and never find "the right person".

We've seen people struggle from paycheck to paycheck for a lifetime, always trying to get ahead financially, only to have their meagre savings wiped out by one emergency after another, and wind up struggling to survive on a tiny social security payment.

We've seen people choose one disastrous business after another, marry one alcoholic after another, fall in with one bad crowd after another.

The subconscious beliefs of these people are obvious, because what they say they want and what they get are so different.

But what about the countless millions of people who want freedom, peace, joy, loving relationships, and the excitement of new adventures, but instead get up every morning, eat a sensible breakfast, kiss their OK spouse, and trudge off to work in a grey cubicle for a decent wage from a reasonable employer?

Isn't the life of such a person just as much a travesty as those of the more dramatic souls?

This is what Thoreau was talking about when he said "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

What you have in your life today is an exact match, in every detail, to what you subconsciously believe you deserve to have.

Whatever it is, whatever you have and don't have, it is a perfect reflection of your inner subconscious world.

I'll say that again.

At first sight, this might seem like bad news.

However, subconscious beliefs can be changed, and therein lies the good news.

Think And Grow Rich pointed out the importance of disciplining one's thoughts, but it wasn't very clear about the process by which subconscious thoughts can be rewritten. There were some instructions, but they suffered a little from the mechanistic thinking of Hill's time, conceiving of the human being as machine-like, and of reprogramming as something analogous to changing programs on a computer.

We are more fluid, more organic, more interdependent and interconnected than that. The relationship between the conscious and subconscious is not so much the relationship of programmer and computer, as it is the relationship of a trainer with a dolphin. It is not so much about mastery as is it about mutual respect and co-operation.

The subconscious cannot be wrestled into submission by willpower, or beaten into shape by endless affirmations. The subconscious must be attracted, soothed, encouraged, and indeed served. You must begin by accepting the validity of what your subconscious has created, and understanding why it is valid.

Only then will your conscious mind have the power to negotiate with your subconscious.

Yes, negotiate.

Together, the parts of your mind can find a way to achieve your conscious desires, while still meeting the needs your subconscious is set on protecting.

You can begin at any time. No matter how difficult your life is, or how trapped you feel, or how sure you are that there is really no possibility for true fulfilment in your life.

You can begin, by inviting your subconscious mind to start showing you how.

The first step for you might be a meditation, a yoga class, a spiritual awakening, a 12-step meeting, a nervous breakdown, the sudden departure of a lover, or even winning the lottery. It will be the right thing for you, to show you where your self-defeating patterns lie.

All you need to do is surrender, and allow the process to begin.

Don't worry, I won't leave it at that! More in another Hub, later ...