How To Justify Your Existence
83'spec I just growed.
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Or: an existentialist guide to an absurd universe
How can I justify my existence? The simple answer is that I can't. I have no idea what would justify my being here and now. Now that I am here I can perhaps find reasons to justify my continuation -- but I can find many more that might well qualify me for erasure. I don't recycle as much as I could. I have hurt people. I have made mistakes that have caused others misfortune. I have witnessed many atrocities without being able to help the victims. In short, I have been less than aware of all my responsibilities for much of my life.
I could, were I so inclined, give the matter the same response Topsy gives in Uncle Tom's Cabin and say "I just growed" when asked how and why I got here. It is actually a good place to start, for an existentialist. It has a certain affinity with Sartre's concepts of Being and Nothingness. So we will agree that we are, and that we got here, without examining the process too closely. If, like Topsy, we didn't have a mother, then we would be able to develop in relation to the world in a manner far different than we usually do, whether we have a mother, or foster mother, or adoptive mother, or whatever. Parents are simply the first of many examples and patterns we conform to or later reject, but they are the most meaningful in an infant's life.
So I'm here, and I'm who I am. Jose Ortega y Gassett said "Soy yo y mis circunstancias": "I consist of my self and my surroundings." So that makes me ME. How do I justify it?
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Find Your Metaphor
There are many metaphors we cling to once we start questioning the purpose of our existence. "This worlde nis but a throughfare ful of woe,/ And we bene pilgrims passing toe and froe" said Chaucer, and the image of life as a journey has lasted in literature, from our emergence from Plato's cave to classical Greek epic narratives such as Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, in Virgil's Aeneid, through Everyman and his wanderings in the medieval morality play, or Christian in the later anachronistic A Pilgrim's Progress; indeed, it has endured and been meshed with and interwoven into Renaissance literature with the picaresque, with the wanderings of Don Quijote, on into Voltaire's Candide and his journey through life; to Tom Jones, and adventures that make the man on his journey, to the bildungsroman itself, to a certain extent. The journey brings change and forces perspectives. Yes, I'm oversimplifying the development of centuries of literature; however, there is a valid thread.
Were we never to travel, we might be less inclined to ponder such questions, so the journey itself becomes a quest. Be it a quest for enlightenment or just to find great shoes (in the case of Imelda Marcos, for example), the quest leads to more questions which lead to further exploration. . . In short, if I really wanted to, I could avoid the real question of justifying my existence by busying myself with the quest itself ("don't ask me now! Can't you see I'm on a great journey towards enlightenment? I'll send you a postcard when I find out the answer"). It's tempting. And advisable, to some extent, too: the Buddha did it, until he found the right tree to sit under. Jesus had his wanderings in the desert to ponder the purpose of his existence.
NO rollercoasters, please
I had to really work hard at restraining myself when students say their lives are like rollercoasters with ups and downs. Is that how we have encouraged kids to view life? As a ride in a little car on a set track? That goes around and around? Not only is it a very tired metaphor and a very worn cliché, it's also really limited: if life were simply a rollercoaster ride, in which we anticipate "ups and downs," then we are no more than the rats in a maze or a hamster in a wheel. It reminds me of Camus's description of the state of affairs in Oran when the plague (in La Peste) forces the city into quarantine: the traffic is being told to "circulez, circulez", as there is nowhere to go but back around. Like the carriers of the plague themselves, the rats, the citizens of Oran are doomed to a horrible existence in the midst of pestilence, without escape.
Not a very uplifting picture. Indeed, the twentieth century brought with it a strong inclination to view life as a sort of Hell on Earth -- from the trenches of WWI, where Wilfred Owen described the realities of warfare in mud, through to Samuel Beckett's awful limbo in Waiting for Godot. But what one of the main characters in Camus's novel does is choose to stay in Oran of his own free will, hours before the quarantine is enforced. If it is an absurd and meaningless universe that we inhabit, then why should his behavior not look at first as being just as absurd? Is it nobility and humanity that make Dr. Rieux stay? Or a random act of absurdity?
Christian Dior (as opposed to John Bunyan)
Limbo or Insane Asylum?
It's easy to justify your existence if life is a set parameter on the scale of an imposed living hell, or limbo, or madhouse. You are just another inmate. Pass the porridge. But the people I admire the most were not just another cellmate. They are the ones who have either broken out of their perceived boundaries or transcended the limits of their own surroundings. People who, one day, made a choice they could not turn back from, like Huck Finn deciding that he would rather go to hell than betray the runaway Jim. Or Gandhi. People who would jump off the rollercoaster, tip the hamster wheel over, climb up a wall in the maze in order to do something that would benefit another human being. Or many.
So the only way I can justify my existence is by ensuring that each new action I take will, at the very least, not hurt another, but which will hopefully help someone. Yeah, sure, I'll still be way too selfish and hoard chocolate and take long baths that use up all the hot water; but if I can save one hurt or spare one sorrow -- but that's not good enough, is it? If I can stand up for what is right, in a manner that will break current custom and instill new compassion in others -- but something's still lacking, isn't it? If I can make a strong stand that hurts none but benefits many, whether or not it destroys me in the process, then might I be on my way to justifying my existence?
There are those who believe that all sorrowing woe is. Becuase it is. We can not change it or nullify it, no matter how much we'd like to do so. I can't stop genocide in Rwanda. I can't cure AIDS. I can't make a big contribution to the future of humankind. Well, true: that sorrow and pain is not going to disappear. All I can do is witness some of it, be aware of it happening, rather than be blind to the cruel injustice of it. If that awareness -- that conscience, in Hamlet's definition -- lets me be a more conscious individual, I might have more respect for life. Does that justify my existence?
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Comments
Teresa McGurk, your existence needs no justification. Your life is what you make of it -- but it's yours and no one else's. Make the most of it!
Thanks, guys. Call me lucky!
Good questions, Teresa.
Being conscious of what is happening in one's surroundings.......the world........the universe..........is a start. Not hurting people as one passes through life is certainly good. Traveling is certainly an education if one is open to that aspect of it (not simply acquiring shoes as the object) and one can utilize those lessons in daily life. But can we do more?
Many people are simply caught up on the treadmill of life doing the daily minuscule things that make up a 24 hour period of time. Eating, sleeping, working...but again, is there more? If one can get beyond that and start thinking of what is truly important in the short life we all have in our very mortal bodies, then perhaps we can do something with whatever remains of our time here to justify our existence. Waking up to that fact is a start.
One does not have to be recognized by the public although a few who have done truly significant things stemming from their mission in life (...Mother Teresa as an example) do gain publicity. Most people will die without that kind of notoriety, but can still still lead lives that justify their existence if they want it badly enough.
I sense that your impact on young people's lives through your gift of teaching will be justification enough for your existence. Judging from what you write on hubpages......your legacy is assured! And that will be a good legacy........and a useful existence.
Sadly, some people's existence may serve to teach others what NOT to do.
Some lives are wracked with illness, poverty, disease and more. Is their existence worthwhile? I say yes!
All of us impact other people in some way. As you say, parents are the first teachers for many babies. Siblings, playmates, classmates, teachers, relatives, neighbors, employers, priests and ministers, and literally everyone we meet on a daily, weekly, monthly or even a seldom basis impact one another in some way.
Let's put more thought into it and decide what we want our existence to mean. Do we have a mission in life? Old quote with some validity... "Where there's a will, there's a way." Do we have the will to make something of our existence?
Thought provoking hub, Teresa!
Wow -- great response, Peggy. You know, I was thinking that being recognized for one's actions must make it all much more difficult; that it would be easier to keep one's right hand from knowing what the left hand is doing if no one is watching.
I was always very taken with Borges's analogy of life as a web, a net of existence -- meshing us with the lives of others inextricably. He would have loved surfing the 'net. But I like it when I don't even know that something I have done has had a good result for someone else -- hearing about it later is like getting a gift.
Thanks -- you have given me plenty to think about, too.
Teresa, you are a treasure you know? I mean Lucky
Thanks, C. C. -- I illustrate the fact that only someone who has come within and inch of turd-itude knows just how lucky lucky can be!
Ain't it the truth now? ROFLMAO
Thank you for answering my request! Pass the porridge! I want to pour it on m'self!
I tried to bring in as much non-religious literature as possible, ya gotta give me that much! Nah, Tom -- you don't get the porridge -- that's only for us lifers. Methinks you have broken out of the existential prison into a higher realm.
Teresa, I had so many thoughts and memories reading this wonderful essay. Thank you for writing it.
It brought back to mind this professor I had in graduate school who was always talking about the "causa sui" project and how it was a dead end project, it was doomed to fail, yet people had to heroically embark upon it, it was emblematic of the modern era and all like that boop boop a doo. He had little poney tail and smoked a pipe and wore hats.
I know there is no compassion without despair and suffering, but there are lots of times when chocolate looks way better to me than compassion. I am too small, too shallow. I can only quote the great existential philosophers:
To do is to be--Kierkegaarde.
To be is to do--Sartre.
Do be do be do--Sinatra.
I bow to your erudition -- I haven't got much further than Scooby Doo (Scooby wooby doo!) and Fred Fintstone. Yabba dabba doo. . . .
Is "beer and girls" a sufficient justification for one's existence? I've been told it's a bit shallow.
No, I think "beer and girls" even qualifies you for a discount at the local swimming pool -- check your paper for coupons.
What Aya said, no justifications needed, but I think the ones you propose are wonderful!
And what Pam G said, this is am excellent essay! (By the way, I had a T-shirt with the Kierkegaarde, Sartre and Sinatra sayings, I thought I was SO cool while wearing it! Laugh) You drew me in with the first sentence... 'course the title had already hooked me :-) The journey is the quest, being aware and conscious of that is, in my opinion, the best justification we'll ever get.
Bravo, Teresa, and thank you for this wonderful read.
Dang! I'd love a t-shirt like that. Thanks for reading, Elena.
I like your reference to life being a net. We are all intertwined in that net...some in the center and others on the fringes.
Good Lordy T - nothing's made me think so much for a long time. My first thought was it's all about compassion, being aware etc - trying to live through compassion is what keeps me (er-hem ... ?) balanced. Then - because you made me think about it - I realised that I am out of balance in many ways, albeit small ways. Then I saw those phrases (compassion, awareness ..) as empty for me at the moment. I need to go back to my beginner's mind - to re-encounter those concepts as if for the first time once more. I too am less than aware, and worse, knowing the power of compassion am guilty of being complacent about it.
It's just about ruined my weekend - but I needed this shake-up .... having said that I'm now off to a bar for beer a FA Cup action.
Iphigenia -- only the compassionate can make the associations and come to the conclusions that you have come to -- Bless your kind heart. Have a beer for me.
Thanks for the hub, my grandfather always said, " Do as you would be done by, You are only passing through, make the most of it, enjoy" very sound words that I try to live by.
A very good essay, Teresa. Here at home we talk about these subjects all the time. I am at a point where I am unlearning everything I have read throughout the years, and realize existence is none of the stories we humans have made up, but if there was a mythological God who would turn me into stone if I didn't reply to the question "what is the purpose of Violetsun/Marie's existence?" I would say without stopping to catch my breath, " Love", with a capital 'L", and that in itself encompasses everything, even self love. At least this is my story about existence. :)
Thumbs up!
And from the immortal words of Popeye the Sailorman........."I yam what I yam".
I'm with ya, Violetsun -- and John Lennon. It's all you need.
Hey, KCC -- so true. People don't realize what a philosopher Popeye was.
Great. I can look forward to an insomniac night.
Wow, I guess I have just been doing the journey and trying to keep my feet on the ground and pull my head out of the stars from time to time to pay attention to where my feet have carried me, but then again I am not sure if my true travel is physical or mental so I am not sure if any of it exists or it is all just a dream and maybe when I wake up there will be an answer to something....what was the question again?
Good one, CS -- nicely existential!
no. why should it?
It shouldn't -- and it doesn't. There is, indeed, no "should" involved; the question is (as I asked it) not even valid. But it puts the time in.
Teresa you are indeed a pro at ratteling one's lazy mind.
hmmmm....compasion and awareness, the first steps toward enlightenment
This was a great read. You definitely captured the age old question. The ancient greeks were famous for these types of ponderings, "how can I justify my existence" "how can I do something that will cause my name to echo throughout the hallways of time." It's interesting that you mention Sarte's prescription to just not examining the process too closely. I definitely think that from the existential point of view, one cannot take too closely a look at life without falling into despair. Like Solomon's view in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible: "'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.' What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?" That's why I don't like existentialism, there are no answers there, there's only hopelessness.
I really like your concept of finding a metaphor. I hadn't thought about the metaphors I cling to. Thanks for the great intellectual musings :)
Hey Benji -- thanks for your great comments. As for existentialism, I used to think it too bleak, too -- until I started to see (maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part?) some heroism in facing meaninglessness and, despite its vast abyss, still choosing to do the right thing, no reward of "heaven" promised for the action.
The depths of these perceptions,the strength of these self revelations are articulated brilliantly through your fingers.However the pounding of my calloused fingers can never fully express what you have here,the one question that forever lingers amidst the chaos of my inarticulte mind,Do Wa Diddy Diddy Dum DiddyDo(see what I mean :-)).This is beautiful,Teresa and as an existentialist,I must figure out this truth for myself.Thank you for these cliff notes,I spotted some literature here that I need to read.
I'm hereby changing your name to TheMindFULBrute -- update all your stationary and business cards accordingly! Glad it sparked some flickers of meaning for you -- and thanks for visiting.
Excellent writing, Teresa, worthy of being a book one day.
Our justification comes from the way those around us view us and our lives. We can't justify our existence, because we are not the direct results of our actions, others are. And no one has yet to tell us exactly what our purpose here is. We just go through the motions,hopefully bringing something of value to others. At the very least we should live to "do no harm". The justification, punishment or reward will come later. we will all be judged by a higher power.
Great stuff, Teresa. You put it all so well. Definitely the best writer on HubPages as far as I'm concerned.
I think that ultimately there are no answers that could justify our existence, certainly not on an individual level. And then at what level? I think that one doesn't need to justify one's existence, as you say, being aware, being in touch with oneself and with others, is about all we can hope for.
There is no deus ex machina to rescue us or to justify us. We have to do it ourselves.
Thanks for sharing your insights soi eruditely and interestingly.
Love and peace
Tony
Better late than never, I'm glad I found this. Thanks Teresa.
That shoe really sums up your whole article. I LOVED IT!
C. C. Riter says:
9 months ago
Very good answer to that request Teresa. Like little Golden Toad told his friends, "Call me Lucky." "Why?" they asked. "Because I came within an inch of being a turd!"