I live in a small village. Before that I lived in a small town. Before that I lived for nearly thirty years in a large city.

In a city you are surrounded by people all the time, yet for some reason in a city you can become isolated very easily. I'm not a psychologist, but I guess it has something to do with personal space. In a village there is plenty of space. In a city people somehow feel the need to preserve their personal space. They don't want other people invading it and making them feel threatened.

After I left home I lived close to the centre of a city. I never felt isolated or friendless, although many people told me how lucky I was to have friendly neighbours and lots of friends. Lucky? No. It doesn't happen by accident. If you want to get to know people you have to make it happen.

How did I do this? I started by using a technique I discovered as a teenager. Introduce yourself. Many people say their neighbours are unfriendly and won't talk to them. Doubtless those neighbours say the same thing. Most people seem to think it is up to others to make the first move.

Whenever I move, the first thing I do is knock on the neighbours' doors and introduce myself. I usually invite them in for tea or coffee. In my first flat I invited everyone in my stairwell in for drinks one evening. They all came. Most had never even met each other before.

Be friendly yourself. Smile and say hello, rather than putting your head down and walking past without a word. Make sure your neighbours know you are happy to help if they need it - and do help. In both of my blocks of flats we helped each other. Once someone (me) had started being friendly it snowballed.

If there is an outside space, plant some flowers. If you live in a house, tend the FRONT garden. On a warm sunny weekend go outside and do some weeding or planting. Your neighbours will be coming and going, especially if it is Saturday. Smile at them all and encourage them to stop for a chat. Believe me, it works. If you live in a flat with no outside garden space, clean your car somewhere where your neighbours can stop and chat.

Away from your immediate neighbourhood, you need to be a "joiner". Join a walking group, choir, golf club, whateveryourinterestis club. Consider doing some voluntary work at weekends or in the evenings. This will introduce you to lots of people. You can have fun and be useful. Think about joining a social club. Don't panic, they aren't all just dating clubs and not all their members are charmless nerds.

If you lack the self-confidence to take the initiative then I suggest you invest in a self-confidence boosting course. As I said above, in a large city it can be hard to get to know people. Someone has to take the initiative. Make that person you and I know you won't regret it.