So you were dumped... it's something that unfortunately happens to everyone at one point or another.  It hurts, it stings, and certain breakups can actually be one of the most depressing and hopeless things you ever go through. The first thing to realize is that you're not alone.  The second?  That there's actually something you can do about it.

Some people choose to move on, while others fight to win back their ex boyfriend or girlfriend because they believe the relationship is worth saving.  If you still love your ex and want him or her back, you'll need to calm down, keep a level head, and start working toward a plan of action that will put your lover back in your arms again.

But no matter how your relationship ended, there's one thing that needs to happen first before you can get back together again:  You need to make your ex miss you.  Until that happens, there's no chance of any type of reconciliation.

One of the first steps to winning back a boyfriend or girlfriend is to fully accept the break up.  Too often you'll see people trying to cling to a broken relationship - guys and girls alike.  As one person tries to walk away the other gets more needy, desperate, and hopelessly lost in trying to keep the relationship alive long after it's over.  In this situation, anything you do to try and force your ex into giving you a "second chance" is only going to infuriate them... and even worse, make them lose respect for you as a person.

Your ex broke up with you for a reason.  He or she probably thought their decision through numerous times before ending things with you face to face.  Don't disrespect their wishes by fighting against them right now - let go of the relationship and let your ex know you recognize that it's over. 

But hey, don't feel totally bad about it.  In your heart and mind, silently know that by ending this relationship you're clearing the way to establish a new one.  Getting back together with your girlfriend or boyfriend will take time and patience, but the first steps cannot be taken until the broken remnants of your old relationship are swept aside.  In short, look to the future - not the past.

Lingering around after the relationship ends is one of the most common mistakes men and women make after getting dumped by an ex-lover. Trying to get your ex to reverse their decision too soon after breaking up is not only a bad move, it's tantamount to shooting yourself in the foot.

Want your boyfriend or girlfriend back? Stay away for a while. Turn off your cellphone, pull the plug on your computer, and start focusing on yourself for a while. Instead of trying to figure out where your ex is or what he or she is doing, put them completely out of your mind. Will you miss them? Yes. But in not seeing or hearing from you at all... your ex will miss you too.

This is your goal right now, and it's extremely important: you cannot contact your ex at all. Don't do it through email, phone call, or seemingly innocent text-message. If you have to work with your ex or see them at school, do your best to steer clear of any encounters. And if you happen to bump into them? Say a quick "hello", nod politely, and smile. Then move on, without any kind of contact.

NOT giving away your position or emotional state will go a long way toward getting your ex back. He or she will wonder why you haven't even tried to win back their attention, and will actually begin worrying that maybe you're over them. This is a good thing, as it damages egos and even breeds jealousy. Winning back a girlfriend or boyfriend is about making them need you again, and the no-contact rule is one of the bigger steps.

For more great ideas on accelerating the process of getting back together again, check out:

Making your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

Or

Making your Ex Girlfriend Miss You

How long should you wait before contacting your ex?  Several weeks, at least.  I know that's probably not the answer you wanted to hear right now, but if you want your efforts to be effective?  You need to give your ex time to process the break up, wonder where you are, and start to miss seeing or hearing from you.

In the meantime, work on recreating yourself.  No, this doesn't mean you should "change" for your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend.  But it does mean that you can work on your appearance: hit the gym, firm up, start running, get a tan, buy some new clothes, feel great, look good, and find all new confidence during the time period that you're waiting around for your ex to miss you.

Do all that... and you'll be guaranteed to knock your ex right out of his or her socks the next time they see you again.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend will already be wondering what you've been up to, so show them it's something positive.  When they realize you haven't been sitting at home waiting by the phone all day, you suddenly become a very attractive commodity to them again.

One of the bigger mistakes many people make after being dumped is to become reclusive and wounded. As you sit home feeling sorry for yourself you can sink deeper and deeper into depression. Not only is this bad for you, but it's one of the most unattractive things you can do when it comes to getting your ex back. Because when you think about it, no one wants to get back together with a crying, sobbing mess of an exgirlfriend or boyfriend.

Don't throw a pity party for yourself. Tear up the guest list and head out the door. Getting outside in the fresh air with friends and family is one of the best remedies to a break up. Seeing new places and doing new things can go a long way toward forgetting - even temporarily - about the fact that your ex broke up with you.

And while you're out there being social? Have a great time. One of the most attractive personality traits both guys and girls find in the opposite sex: being fun, funny, and happy. If you're out at a party and having a blast? Great. If you're out at a bar and laughing your ass off? Even better. And when word of your behavior gets back to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, it will put another dent in their ego just knowing you can have fun without them.

When your ex thinks you've put them out of your mind and started to move on again? This is what will make them miss you. It creates an instant need to have you in their life again, and this is exactly what you want.

Genuinely try to enjoy yourself, and don't just go out with the intention of putting on a show. Be yourself, not somebody else. By surrounding yourself with the people you love, you'll always have fun. Staying active is the key to remaining positive, and will help dissipate any lingering thoughts of hopelessness or despair you might still feel after your ex breaks up with you.

While trying to get back an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, some people avoid dating others.  They miss opportunities to go out and have fun with someone of the opposite sex, simply because they think it will make their ex angry or no longer desire them.

The opposite couldn't be more true.

Going out with someone else is one of the fastest ways to grab your ex's attention again, forcing them to instantaneously face whatever feelings and emotions they still have for you.  If your ex wants you back at all?  They're going to have to do something about it - and quickly too, because it sure looks like you're moving on without them.

Getting your ex to miss you is quickly accomplished the second they see you with your arm around someone else.  So should you run out and start dating again in order to make your ex jealous?  Not so fast.

If you decide to date other people during your break up, do it for yourself.  Do it because you want to do it, and because you genuinely like the person you're going out with... don't do it for the sole purpose of making your ex jealous. 

Starting up a new romance JUST to get your ex to notice you again can often backfire, especially if they realize you still have strong feelings for them and are only doing it for attention.  But if you're legitimately dating someone because you're ready for it and because they're fun to be around?  Go for it.  The fact that it makes your ex jealous is just an added bonus.

The road to winning back your boyfriend or girlfriend can often be long.  But if you stick to a plan and keep an eye on where you're walking, you'll find success more often than not.  Making your ex need you again is a key element to the process of repairing your relationship.  Reversing any break up requires that both parties are once again missing "the magic" that they once had together.

For tons of great advice on how to win back your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, be sure to check out:

Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend

Or:

Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend

And no matter what you decide to do, make sure you have patience, stay true to yourself, and above all, keep a positive mindset while working toward your goal.  Good luck!