Does athleticism avoid your gene pool as if you have lepracy? Don't worry, the majority of the population has the same problem when it comes to breaking through to professional, or even collegiate level sports. Luckily, everyone has a second chance in life at reaching their goals and aspirations. It is known as living through your children. Making their life your own. Turning their childhood into an obstacle course of training, lifting, and running all in hopes that they will turn into the next Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods. Parents love to pigeon-hole their kids into a specific sport and just jack hammer it into their psyche as their "favorite" sport. Well, this is where most parents fail from the start. The issue here is that the likelihood of your child having that type of athleticism to become a professional athlete is very slim. The secret is that parents need to choose a niche within a sport that is coveted at the professional level. You can still run your child into the ground with training, jazz-ercising, and pilates, but now you will be placing a more realistic goal on the horizon instead aiming for becoming an all-pro quarterback.

You probably already have a favorite sport in mind that you want your child to rule when he or she hits his or her prime (yes this is a politically correct article that will address the females' options as well).

For the boys:

Football, baseball, and basketball will be the most likely sports forced upon our children so be smart with how you integrate your child into the sport. For football, you can allow your child to explore the roles of quarterback, running back, and wide receiver at a young age, but as soon as you see how crappy they are, you need to steer them towards a sure thing.

In football, the following positions are not stressed at a young age: Kicker, Punter, Long snapper. That's right, I even mentioned long snapper (hey they get drafted too). Kicking and punting are not important until the high school years arrive and your child could become a starter for the varsity squad his freshman year if you play your cards right. Of course, your child may have the foot-eye coordination of a snake, but you need to recognize this early or else you are a terrible parent if you made your child kick a football for 10 straight years with no progress. In the case that your child has actual talent, feel free to let them chase their dreams of playing at a star position, but remember, their joy = no early retirement for you.

In baseball, not too many positions allow for specialized training. Most positions all need to be able to field and hit the ball. There is one position though that will heighten your odds of being noticed at an early age: Left handed pitchers. You know how it goes. They make big money for coming in every now and then to face a left handed hitter before returning to the dugout to count how much money he makes per pitch. Sounds like a decent option, but you may run into the issue that your kid isn't left handed. This is where I leave it open for you to get creative. You could tie your kid's right arm down at all times, tell your child that the doctor believes his right arm will crumble if he uses it, or simply say a right handed son is no son of yours. Give it a little time and you will have yourself a left handed prodigy (or possibly a meeting with child services).

When it comes to basketball, it is very hard to find a specific niche. If the height is lacking in your family then you should ignore this sport all together. The only hope you have is to raise a lights out shooter, but too many factors can ruin such a goal. Can you shoot under pressure? With a hand in your face? Without the clutch factor, this dream will fade like all of yours.

Not happy with those? Well then find a niche in whatever unholy un-American sport (Golf is acceptable) you follow, but just remember what sports pay the real money for even the niche positions.

For the girls:

In the case that you have a daughter, your options in this arena are very limited. You may even have to weigh the option of letting her live a normal life. There is no professional football or softball for women, leaving only basketball as the real option. Again, basketball does not have any real niche positions so you are just out of luck.

Golf, on the other hand, could be an excellent option. Golf is not something girls get into at young ages and could give you a great jump on creating a prodigy! Of course something like golf requires some real investment. You will get stuck in a cycle of buying clubs that your children will quickly outgrow. The key here is to make the child feel guilty about these purchases and use it against them to force them to work ridiculously hard.

Now that you have your niche, you need to burn it into your child's brain that their path in life has been chosen for them. Have them watch film, do reps, and avoid any of their friends who play different sports. Last thing you need is another child crushing all your hard work. Now, I'm not going to tell you how to train them that is up to you. Hire a personal trainer, a coach, or whatever else you need to transform your child's life into your retirement fund.

Tip #1: Pit Them Against Each Other

The more children you have, the better odds you have of finding your golden ticket. Not only do you increase your odds, but you can pit them against each other and compete for your love and acceptance. Losers don't get dinner!

Tip #2: Find Other Parents Like Yourself

Know anyone else exploiting their children? Do it together! If you child sees other children in a similar household then they will be less likely to question your motives.

I currently do not have children and have not run any children into the ground for the sake of money, but I do plan ahead. Feel free to let me know what has worked and not worked for you!