After moving away after high school, both physically and mentally, I have found myself facing my 20th reunion. My wife has been asking me if I planned on going since several people have tried to contact me. I found myself facing a question that I had already determined to be no. I have gone back several times since high school and already there had been major changes, and sadly some things that hadn't changed a bit.

One thing that I have come to realize is that I really had no "friends" in high school, just some people I hung out with. Being an athlete I was surrounded by my team-mates and a couple of people that I knew before high school. Many of my friends I never saw or heard from again, either due to college, military, or just plain life drew us apart.

My enlisting in the military then going to college seperated me, along with the distance the views changed. I went to a large out of state university while others went to the local or state schools. That grew some resentment that I came to find out later. My joining the military pushed some people away from me, and frankly I'm glad to be rid of that influence.

My experiencing meeting large groups of new people, new places, and of course new girls distanced me from those who chose to stay. Alot of people from "my best friend's" group went to the same small state college. They even mentioned several times that it was like another 4 yrs of high school. Something I couldn't even stomach, being around the same people in the same state! How could you grow and learn. That wasn't being out on my own, growing up. That's what college was all about to me. So that caused a divide between us.

I married a woman that was from the opposite side of the country as me. Never even thought about my high school "sweetheart". Looking back I thankfully got away and realized after meeting lots of great women that not being around the girls I dated in high school was a awesome thing. I got the chance to meet some of the coolest people. My "best friend" married the third woman he had ever dated, and of course they had the same experiences and knew the same people. He turned down a very lucrative job offer, because it was outside of his home state. He and many others unfortunately still live in their home city. The farthest my best friend traveled was to my wedding. Maybe growing up in a military family and having the opportunity to travel I never felt tied down to one place. I went to high school in the same city I was born in, mainly because that was the final duty station for my family. To some the most beautiful place, but to me...well it's pretty there, but it's whatever. The big cities and bustling people attracted me, I grew up in beautiful surroundings and wanted more than just what everyone else was doing.

After chatting with a few people from high school, and that was the first time I've contacted anyone from high school for 13 years, I came to realize I didn't really have anything in common. I haven't spoken with "my best friend" in over 12 years. He married his sweetheart and had kids, she did not like me much. I married and have 3 children, which between work, marriage, and them I haven't really cared about the past. My ex has tried to contact me but that did not go over well with my wife. My ex is divorced and likes to send pictures and talk about old times. Not exactly the best format for trying to have a friendship with someone who's married. The people I would like to speak with have moved on to large cities, have careers, children, and are too busy to sit around remembering the good ol' days.

As for my best friend, he tried to communicate a few weeks ago actually. A long email came into my account, only a god would know how he got that email address, and I started to read it. Something happened and I had to stand up to go take care of a child related matter. My wife sat down at the computer and asked if I was done. I said yes and she asked if I wanted to keep what I was reading. I simply said it was nothing important and I'd email them back and to delete it. I guess I'm the bad person, but I just don't care about the same things anymore. Nothing had changed in his life except another child a few years ago, they bought a house 3 doors down from the one I used to live in, and he was part of the alumni group for our high school. I felt sad, but I'm glad that he is happy. I'm happy to be away. To answer my wife's question, no I'll never go back. And I'll probably never respond to that email.

To answer the question of the request, I guess I adjusted by meeting new people but knowing that even new friends will soon part ways and continue down their own paths.  I was lucky enough to find 2 good friends besides my wife that I keep in contact with.  We all move around and travel but use technology to stay in touch and send pictures.  Unfortunately I never found those people in high school, even though I thought we'd stay friends.  I always considered myself to be an outsider in high school, well now I realize just how much of an outsider I am from those I went to school with.