How do you know when you and your partner are ready for a divorce? Approaching a divorce is a lot like approaching marriage, you can’t really be completely sure of it until you’ve done it, and of course then it may be too late. However, there are some signs that your relationship is irreversibly damaged and the only reasonable outcome is divorce.

One of the surest signs that your marriage is headed for divorce is if you find yourselves sleeping in different bedrooms. Maybe it started as you leaving the for the guest room on nights that you worked late, or maybe he wanted to watch TV and you wanted it off. Something as simple as that may result in you and your partner sleeping in separate beds. Once there, you realized you slept better, you didn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to communicate with your partner or work things out. This is commonly the first sign of the two of you drifting in separate directions. You are starting to move away from the intimacy that a healthy marriage shares, and by moving away you are moving towards divorce.

 

 

Another sign is if you find yourselves failing to communicate, or even trying to communicate.  With different couples, this can take dramatically different forms.  One couple may avoid communicating by being angry and picking senseless fights.  While they are talking, or more appropriately ‘yelling’ at one another, they are not really talking about the real issues in their marriage.  The constant fighting masks the true problems that desperately need to be discussed.  Or, in another example, the couple may cease talking with one another all together.  Contrary to what one might believe, this silence does not need to be angry, or uncomfortable.  It can just be a lack of willingness to try from both parties, and if prolonged, can signal the end of a marriage.

On a personal level,  if you find yourself dreaming about the escaping, or moving on with your life, if you find yourself feeling trapped in your marriage and depressed or constantly unhappy, this could also be a sign that there is no turning back.  This is a particular problem if you have felt this way for a long time, say, several months or a year.  Listening to what your subconscious is telling you may be difficult, but it will help you to assess your feelings and take action.

Divorce is never easy, and there are certainly steps you can take to help keep your marriage from ending in divorce.   Yet there are also times when a marriage cannot be salvaged, and then it becomes apparent that you will need to take the steps necessary to get a divorce.