What do you do if your two-year-old starts to call men who aren't his father, "Daddy"? Suppose you've tried telling your child to call certain men, "uncle" instead, and that hasn't seemed to work? The following thoughts are in response to that question.

The short answer is that it isn't always a big deal if a two-year slips up in this way. Little, tiny, children often do this kind of stuff; and simply telling them what is correct usually fixes things.

Then again, most two-year-olds, who are close to their own fathers have come to see the word, "Daddy," as their father's "name" Because the term, "Daddy," is attached to someone to whom they're so close, they aren't likely to start calling other males by their father's "name".

If the two-year-old in question is not very close to his own father, then at least nobody's feelings are going to be hurt if he thinks all men deserve to be called, "Daddy". Even if he's got a great father he's close to, however, adults need to understand that two-year-olds get the world mixed up sometimes. They may hear a cousin or friend call their own fathe, "Daddy," and they may think that's what they should call someone who isn't their own father too.

I think - when he calls anyone other than his own father, "Daddy" - if you calmly say, "That's ________" or "He's _______'s Daddy, but your Daddy is _________," he'll eventually learn.

As far as using "uncle" goes, I don't think children should call anyone "uncle" unless the person is, in fact, his uncle. It's too confusing. Young children need to learn that aunts and uncles are the siblings (and sometimes the spouses of the siblings) of their parents; or, in the case of great-aunts and great-uncles, of their grandparents). Part of knowing what a family is, and having a sense of belonging to one family and having roots, is knowing the terms used to describe family members.

When children learn to call neighbors, parents' friends, or even mother's boyfriends "uncle" they not only don't learn the significance of the term, "uncle" within a family; but when those "uncles" come into, and go out of, their lives it doesn't help create a sense of permance, definition of family, and stability.

If there's one man that a young child mistakenly calls, "Daddy", it usually doesn't take more than simply telling him the right name to use before he'll then know. On the other hand, if he's calling every man he meets "Daddy", besides explaining to him, "Every child has his own Daddy, and your Daddy is ______________" , it may also be important to ask if there's the chance the child's relationship with his own father needs to be made stronger.

Two-year-olds are learning, and they get things mixed up sometimes; but if there's the chance the child and his father don't have that normal, close, bond and relationship (and the chance that that's why the child calls every man, "Daddy"), then THAT may be the more important matter to address.

These days, with so many young children living in homes where their fathers do not; and having their fathers be "just one more visitor who shows up", there may be a new generation of children from whom the word, "Daddy," is not as equally meaningful as the word, "Mommy" is to them. It's easy to see how children too young to understand the biological connection to their fathers could see their non-live-in father as "equal" to all other men they meet.

I would think that reading or telling them stories or talking about the "mother/father/child/children" concept may help. Showing them different doll families could be useful. ("Here's this mother and this father, and these are their children. Over here, there's this mother and this father, and these are their children.") It wouldn't even have to be dolls. It could be a "mother" and "father" bottle of shampoo and little "children" bottles of shampoo (for example); or a "mother" flower pot, "father" flower pot, and their "children" flower pots versus a "family" of cups or cell phones or crayons.

For children who have married parents and/or two parents who live in the same house they do, discussing how mommies and daddies are married or live in the same house can make it clearer. On the other hand, if children's parents are not married and/or don't live together, nobody has to use either of those factors to further clarify the meaning of the term, "Daddy".

It is probably well worth considering, that starting very early to help a child see the positive things that he has in his relationship with his father, and that set his father apart from other men, could help him see the ways in which his father is special to him. More importantly, there's even the chance that by talking about these things a child's relationship with his father could potentially be strengthened. Being attached to their mother or father is one thing, and spending time thinking and talking about how special their parents are can be a nice reminder and reinforcement of just how close they are.