Faith! I have always had a very bad problem accepting death. I do not go to funerals, my whole family knows this. I still won’t do it. Let me explain.

As a very young child I the Bronx, my uncle Ruben would visit regularly. He was the brother of my step father “Poppy”. Poppy was his name. Everybody called him Poppy. I called him Daddy. Poppy was a Drug dealer. And my uncle was one of the Boyz. If you know what I mean.

When Ruben would come to visit. He would always give me a quarter, so I could buy a payday candy bar. One day it was our turn to visit Ruben. My mother got me all dressed up and we set off to this special place to visit him. When we arrived to this place, my uncle was asleep. So I jumped in bed with him and said, Tio, Tio, “Uncle in Spanish) Tio wake up where is my quarter. At this point Poppy grabs me , and informs me that Tio won’t ever wake up again. You see Tio was not in bed he was in a coffin and he was dead. Shot in the streets. Revenge on Poppy, because of something he had done.

Since then I went to two other funerals. My friend Bobby. When Bobby died I completely lost all control. Then I went to a Funeral of a complete stranger, I didn’t even know this lady and I flipped out.

So now I get Sober, I am a recovered Alcoholic /Addict. Early on in my recovery I was a guest speaker at a local rehab. I shared my story as I do at any other meeting. A young man shared with us, that he was clean and drug free for two years, his mother had died suddenly. He was so devastated about the loss of his mother. He started to use again. Now, three years later he was in a rehab. His whole life a complete mess, he still hadn’t been able to get over his mothers loss.

Now here I am. Mr happy to be sober. I had the answer for just about anything. This guy and his story left me speechless. Especially when he asked me. Have you ever lost your Mother? I wanted to cry. At this point my sobriety was at risk. You see, I am the biggest momma’s boy you want to know. When my mother moved away to Puerto Rico. I cried for ten minutes, every new year. I remember, the ball would drop, I would look up, think about moms and cry. I did this for a few years at first. Imagine if she dies. I really didn’t think I could take it.

What is your Definition of Death?

My mentor and friend Richie B, Hands out this little book. “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. Richie Has taught me. Change your thinking, Change your world. As a Man Thinketh is a book about the same. The way we think and what we attract into our life by the way of our thinking. It is so true.

I have had to change the way I look at death, or loss. Now these are my personal feelings, I fear my death, but when it comes to other people, what I fear is their loss. I don’t want to lose my mother, grandma, my wife, kids, uncles, aunts or anybody. These people are part of my life. And I am very sure neither one of them want to lose me.

The truth is,

That I didn’t lose anybody I gained them. I was blessed, even though I am crying right this moment. I didn’t lose my mother. I have to thank God for putting her into my life. And you know what? She always will be in my life. My God, I don’t want to be without my mother. But when it’s her time to go, it’s her time to go. I know I will miss her. ( I can’t stop crying) But she is a gift. I gift that will stay with me for the rest of my life. What I fear is, what I don’t know.

So what do I know? I know that this is a beautiful life, I love it. I know that I like it so much that I don’t want to leave. Life has given me many wonderful gifts, so wonderful that I don’t want to part from those things or people either.

So why should I believe, that this life that has given me nothing but good , is all of a sudden going to give me something that is bad, because that’s what I fear that when I pass on, it’s going to be bad. True? Think about it. Why would it be bad? If everything else is good.

Another thing I know is that, when my Tio (Uncle) Ruben died, my mother didn’t want me to hold on to the loss of my uncle. She wanted me to move on. Never forget, but to get on with my life. Don’t you think she’s going to want me to do the same when her time comes?

Life is full of blessings and sometimes those blessings hurt, but they are never really bad. It’s all about the way we look at them and what we make of them. When it is somebody young, yes it’s a shame that, that person didn’t live as long or longer then we do. But who is to say that they didn’t live a full life. And that God or the Universe doesn’t have a better plan for them. One thing I do know is that I am not God. And I don’t know. What I do know, is right here right now and it’s what I make it. You see we have a choice it’s either blessedness or wretchedness it’s all up to me. I choose Blessedness, what about you.

Remember, Change Your Thinking, Change your World.

Anybody Interested in a free copy of the E-Book “As a Man Thinketh” By James Allen. Please feel free to contact me, I will be happy to give it to you..

Peace, Love, Life, Health, Happiness and a never ending faith in Good…. JosephDiego